Yet another type of call that I receive far too often. Tsk tsk.

Guy calls in. Calling your health insurance company , to me, would generally mean that you're about to embark on a nice normal adult conversation, with the chance of a hint of seriousness being thrown in. Given that it's insurance and all, and as we all know, insurance is important.
Right?
Well...not always.

Some people - 90% guys, but I must say that women have been offenders with this one as well - will call and in and for god-damn unknown reason, feel that it is appropriate and normal to talk to me like I am literally a child.
What the eff, I say, what the eff...

Me, in calm, normal, adult professional voice - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how may I help you?"

Stupid Customer, talking as if he is talking to a 5 yr old - "Hiiiii there love, hey, heya doin'? You doin' okaaaaaaay?"

Me, now deadpan - "I'm fine thanks sir. How can I help"

Stupid Customer - "Awwwww, great, great that's the way love! Great! So listen, I need you to bring up my details there and have a little looksie and tell me how much I got left to claim on physiotherapy, okaaaay? Are you gunna be alright to do that love, or should I speak to a difference area?"

Me - "No I can help with that. You have $300 left to claim this calendar year on physio. Anything else I can help with?"

Stupid Customer - "Yeaaaaah, yeah listen, if it's okay, can you also check if I'm due for another dental check-up love? I can hold if you need to ask someone else there if you're not sure sweetie, you're doin' really well though, good onya' love!"

Me, thinking more & more WTF - "That also goes through me sir. Your next dental checkup is scheduled for December 2nd. Is that date still ok for you or did you need me to change it?"

Stupid Customer - "Noooo, no that's okay love, leave it as it is okaaaay? Well I've got to scoot but look, thanks alot for your help today, you did reaaaaally well lovvvve, okaaaay? Good job! Now you make sure you have a great afternoon, you're doin' really great, okaaaay?"



I mean, I should probably be grateful that finally I have a customer who isn't swearing his nuts off at me. But still. Seriously. WTF is that sh*t?
Every time it happens it makes me reaaaaally want to remind them that the health fund offers psychiatry services, if they're at all interested....