Good lord. My VERY first call of the day. I am still half asleep and in no mood for bum fuckery. And yet, this delightful woman just *had* to pick up the phone and call in, and I just *had* to get the call.

Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how may I help you?"

 A 5 minute life story then ensures...

Stupid Customer - "Yes I'm calling because I got a letter from you, I was overseas for 10 months and I was on holidays and the scenary was really nice and I had arranged for payment before I went and then no I' m back and the letter said something went amiss which is very strange because I had already organised the payment prior to going on my holiday, which included Europe, the scenary was very nice, but then i got this letter saying that my payments are just a bit overdue, but while I was over in Europe..."

She craps on for a few minutes - by now I've already made 2 model paper airplanes and have been test flying them on my desk. I already know what she is calling about - she wants to backpay that 'small' amount owing, no doubt because she suddenly wants to use her policy. And voila, 5 minutes later, she gets to the point...

Stupid Customer - "...and so do I'll just give you my credit card and you can setup a direct debit for this Friday, ok? You got a pen?"

Me - "Okay, firstly ma'am, we do nto debit from credit cards. Only bank accounts. I've been reading the notes on your file - your policy was closed one year ago. You told us at that stage you wanted us to debit from a credit card, we told you that was not possible, you told us - and I quote - 'you will do as a I damn well tell you' - and then hung up on the operator you were speaking to. Since then we sent you numerous emails, letters, and left voice messages as you would not answer your phone, letting you know payment was due and your policy was falling into arrears and you had by March to March backpayment or else you would need to rejoin as a new member and reserve all your waiting periods. It is now October. You will need to rejoin as a new member and reserve all waiting periods."

Stupid Customer - "Now you listen here, I've been a member for a long time, I won't stand for you people running me over like this. I've got an operation next week and you people WILL cover it!"

Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, as advised, you weer notified via various methods over half a year ago what was required to keep your policy active, you chose not to comply with that adn as such, you no longer have an active poilcy and there is definetely no opportunity any longer for you to backpay what is owing"

Stupid Customer - "I've been a member for years!"

Me - "Yes, and that is why your period of repayment was extended out to March - that is 2 months longer than a standard customer. You missed your deadline by over 6 mths, and are now calling just because you have an operation you want fully covered. This fund will not be covering any of the operation"

Stupid Customer - "Now you listen to me and you listen good, you WILL take my payment"

*CLICK*

And she had hung up on me!

We are all helping our customers - to a reasonable extent!
Calling in almost a year after you CHOSE to stop payment, just because you now want an operation covered, is not how it works, I am sorry!
You cant cancel your car insurance and then call in a year later and say 'hey so I just crashed my car, let me backpay my insurance so it will be covered'

Too early in the morning for me to be having to listen to such idiocy, I say, hmph