This lady really cheesed me off. Oh boy did she rub me the wrong way. Really grated my goat she did.

Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"

Stupid Customer - "Hi, I'm calling about my daughter's policy. I need to change the bank account that you pay money into for claims"

Me - "Sure, one moment, I'll bring up the policy"

*I bring it up, and there is no authorisation on the policy for the mother. For those playing at home, we can only discuss/make changes etc with people on the policy. And the only other time we can do this with anyone not on the policy is if the policy holder has filled in and sent us the authorisation form for that person/s. Without that form on file, it is no dice for any 3rd party calling. And so I explain...*

Me - "Okay. I'm sorry ma'am, but at present, there is no authorisation on file for you. So until your daughter gets that sent to us we wont actually be able to discuss anything or make changes with you. The form is available on the website though, if she would like to download that and send it to us today?"

Stupid Customer, big *SIGH* - "Look. I don't care about you policies. I'm just calling to change the bank account you pay money into"

Me, knowing we are about to play the rinse/repeat game - "I understand ma'am, but again without an authority that cannot happen. Your daughter can send this to us today then we can speak to you as soon as it is received, if you like"

Stupid Customer, again with the big *SIGH* - "Okay. Maybe if I talk slower then you will understand. I. just. want. to. update. her. bank. account. DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND?"

Me - "Yes ma'am I understand perfectly. I'm sorry to repeat myself, but the facts of the situation remain the same. Without an authorisation for you, we cannot proceed"

Stupid Customer - "Fine then. I'm Sally [the daughter]. Now, update my bank account"

Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, you've already told me you are her mother, and Ive noted what you told me on her policy. We cannot speak with you"

Stupid Customer - "How do you know I'm not Sally? Huh!"

Me - "You advised me at the start of this call, on a recorded line, that you were her mother"

*NOTE - at this stage we have been going in circles for over 5 minutes. Other actual customers are waiting in the queue to get through*

Me - "Ma'am if you daughter sends the authority today we can speak with you this afternoon. If there is nothing else we can assist with, I will need to go and attend to the other customers who have been patiently waiting"

Stupid Customer - "So what, you're happy to take our money but you're not willing to take new bank details? What kind of cr*p is that?"

Me - "I've already explained the situation ma'am...."

*talking over me*

Stupid Customer - "And I've already told you I don't give a sh*t about your rules! 1993029..."

*she starts randomly reading out the new bank account number*

Me - "Ma'am...ma'am! I can't take down those details. I'm sorry. Now, if you would ..."

*talks over me again, this time putting on a baby voice*

Stupid Customer - "But I'm Sally! I'm 24 years old, can't you tell? My name is Sally, I'm the member,a nd I'm calling to update my details! Why won't you help me!"

Me, gobsmacked and disgusted by the baby voice - "Ma'am, I'm sorry but your daughter will need to call us until we have an authority for you"

*she keeps on with the baby voice, then starts to pretend cry, and this is literally what she was doing...*

Stupid Customer - "WAAAAAH. WAAAAAH. I'm Sally and you won't help me! WAAAAAH! You're a mean person, waaaaaaah! "

Me - "Ma'am, I'm sorry but I'm going to terminate the call"

Stupid Customer, back to her normal voice - "Thanks for nothing you CU*T!"

*CLICK* as she hangs up.

Seriously.
That woman HAD to have a few screws loose.
Can't say I've ever had a grown woman act like that on a call before, and damn, was it pathetic.