I should really just wait until I've gone through all my morning emails before I post anything, and just do one big jumbo post...

The very next email reads:

"Hey Miss Health Insurance,
Can you please have a look at policy # 499102934 - this lady called in last night and was pretty angry. If you view her latest pharmacy claim, you can see that we had made an exception on that item and approved to pay her $246, rather than the standard $40 that she was entitled to. The cost of the item was $250. So, rather than having a gap of $210, one of the managers helped her out and now she has a gap of just $4. She is furious about this. She was yelling that she should not have to pay anything at all, and if we don't pay the extra $4 then she is going to cancel her policy, and tell everyone she knows that is with us to cancel as well, as we rip our customers off, apparently. I already spoke to Anthony [name changed of course, but one of the managers] - he said she was extremely lucky to be given the extra amount to start with since we don't really do that for anyone, so he wants you to call her and tell her the choice is hers but she can take the $246 or nothing at all.

Thanks Miss Health Insurance!"


So, I just called her. The conversation went as follows. Oh how I love being screamed at first thing in the morning *rolls eyes*

Me - "Hi there, this was Miss Health Insurance calling from Health Insurance Inc, returning a call for Ms Susan Berry?"

Stupid Customer - "Yes! Now look here, I was told last night I'm only getting back $246 on my pharmacy claim, that's obviosuly a mistake, so I assume you're calling to confirm that's been rectified and I will ahve $250 in my account today?"

Me - "Actually ma'am, I was calling to explain that on this item, you were entitled to receive a set rebate of $40. A manager here made an exception and increased that for $246, as a goodwill gesture. I had been calling to advise that you had already been given well above what you were entitled to and, as such, would be receiving just the $246 mentioned"

Stupid Customer - *snotty tone* "WELL. Did the person from last inform you that should you refuse to pay me everything I am entitled to, I will be cancelling my policy? And letting all of my friends now what you have done?"

Me - "Well, they did advise me that you may cancel your policy, should you not receive the extra $4. But again I must stress, in mentioning what you are 'entitled to' - that amount is $40. We have paid you well above that, so you have received alot more than you are entitled to"

Stupid Customer - "No. I will get the extra $4, or I will cancel my policy"

Me - "Okay ma'am. That's unfortunate to hear, but it's your choice. You will find our cancellation forms on our website, please ensure you date and sign the form to ensure it is processed promprtly form you"

Stupid Customer - "Um....so, like, what, you don't care about keeping your loyal customers?"

Me - "Of course we want to retain our customers ma'am. We can't, however, pay our customer's whatever they demand just because they threaten to cancel their membership. That is not fair on other customers, and would run the business inot the ground pretty quickly"

Stupid Customer - "But it's just $4!"

Me - "Well...exactly"

Stupid Customer - "Soooo...ummm..."

Me - "So, as mentioned, we are already payign you well above what you are entitled to. If you choose not to take this and wish to cancel instead, you will find our cancellation forms on the website"

Stupid Customer - "So you're going to lose a customer over $4?"

Me - "From our perspective, the amount is not the point. The maximum the fund could approve as a goodwill payment was $246. That would have been the same whether this item cost $250, or $650. If we were somehow able to approve the extra $4, then that would open the floodgates, and we would need to pay extra on all of our member's claims. From your perspective though, ma'am, you would be choosing to lose your insurance over $4. And I must say that you are on a very good level of cover, for a very decent price. You have claimed alot over the years. In all honesty, the detriment would not be toward us ma'am...."

Stupid Customer - "Well. This is a joke. I can't believe you're going to lose a customer over $4. You should just pay what I tell you to and then you would have the priviledge of keeping me!"

*CLICK*


I bet you ANYTHING she doesn't cancel.
And hey, you know what - we don't actually WANT customers like that. Ones that threaten and blackmail, and have no regard for other customers