Stupid Customer - "My previous fund said they sent you my release papers 2 weeks ago"
Me - "I'm sorry, we don't have them, could you please ask them to resend them"
Stupid Customer - "They said they sent them 2 weeks ago"
Me - "Ok. But we don't have them. Do you have the address they sent them to?"
Stupid Customer - ***Gives me the address for the wrong health fund***
Me - "Okay, they've sent that to the wrong health fund. Here is our address. Please ask them to resend your papers, and to this correct address"
Stupid Customer - "They said they sent it two weeks ago"
Me - "Yes, to the wrong address. Please ask them to resend the papers to our address here"
Stupid Customer - "But they said they sent it all 2 weeks ago"
Me - "Ok, but we aren't able to receive something that isn't sent to us"
***Silence***
Stupid Customer - "But they said they sent it 2 weeks ago!"
Me - "Ok, but they sent it to the wrong place. We can't receive mail that isn't sent to us"
And this went on and on in exact circles for several minutes.
Good lord, how does that woman even wake up in the morning without falling out of bed an faceplanting.
Sunday 31 July 2011
Me - "Ok so your fortnightly premium is $100, your monthly premium is $200"
Stupid Customer - "I pay $100"
Me - "That's right, if you want to pay a fortnights worth then it is $100. However, if you want to pay for a full month, it is $200"
Stupid Customer - "WAIT?! You mean a month is more than a fortnight?!"
Stupid Customer - "I pay $100"
Me - "That's right, if you want to pay a fortnights worth then it is $100. However, if you want to pay for a full month, it is $200"
Stupid Customer - "WAIT?! You mean a month is more than a fortnight?!"
You want who now?
***NOTE - we don't have a separate 'claims' department, as such. If someone has a claims enquiry, they call through to our call centre. We either resolve the issue on the spot for them or if need be, send an email through to a claims assessor and they get the matter sorted. They then email us back with the outcome and we call the customer back to let them know it's been resolved.
*** A guy calls in ***
Me - Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how may I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Claims"
***silence***
Me - "Oh, um...did you mean you have a claims enquiry?"
Stupid Customer - "Claims"
Me - "Ok. Alright, well...do you have a membership number I can start with?"
Stupid Customer - "No"
Me - "Ok. Was this in relation to a claim of your own?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes"
Me - "Okay. I'll just bring the policy up using your name, could I get your name there please?
Stupid Customer - ***Gives me a females name***
Me - "Oh ok, sorry, you were just saying this is a claim for yourself?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes"
Me - "Ok...but you just gave me the name of someone else"
***silence***
Stupid Customer - "Medical claims"
Me - "OH! Oh, were you calling from a Dr's office?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes"
Me - "Oh ok, oh well that explains why you didn't have their membership number. Ok I'll written that name down, could I just grab the patient's address, date of birth and the item numbers you're chasing up"
Stupid Customer - ***Ignoring everything I just said*** "Yeah so how come you people haven'tpaid my daughter's claim?"
Me - "Your...daughter's claim? OK, just so I can clarify. Who is this claim for?First you said it was yours..then you said you were calling from a Dr's office... I need to verify who I'm speaking with before I can proceed. "
Stupid Customer - "It's my daughter's claim. You people never paid on it. Why."
Me - "Ok, so it's your daughter's claim. Is she on your policy?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes"
Me - "Ok, that's fine, if she is on your policy then I can discuss her claim with you. Now when I brought her name up before it only had her name there. Did she recently transfer to your policy then?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes"
Me - "OK, what was your name, I'll bring her details up that way ***I get his details and search - sure enough, I find his policy, but she is not on it*** Ok, I found your details, but she is not on your policy"
Stupid Customer - "Right"
Me - "Ok but you said she was on your policy"
Stupid Customer - "I have authority"
Me - "There is no authority for anyone on her policy. Did she send us a written letter of authority for you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes"
Me - "Ok, was that very recent? It might not be loaded on file yet"
Stupid Customer - "Why didn't you pay her claim?"
Me - "I can't discuss anything until I find this letter of authority. Did she mail or fax it?"
Stupid Customer - "She hasn't sent one"
Me - "Ok. You will need to get your daughter to call. Thanks, bye!"
What did he think lying at every question was going to achieve?
What a dumb f**k.
*** A guy calls in ***
Me - Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how may I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Claims"
***silence***
Me - "Oh, um...did you mean you have a claims enquiry?"
Stupid Customer - "Claims"
Me - "Ok. Alright, well...do you have a membership number I can start with?"
Stupid Customer - "No"
Me - "Ok. Was this in relation to a claim of your own?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes"
Me - "Okay. I'll just bring the policy up using your name, could I get your name there please?
Stupid Customer - ***Gives me a females name***
Me - "Oh ok, sorry, you were just saying this is a claim for yourself?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes"
Me - "Ok...but you just gave me the name of someone else"
***silence***
Stupid Customer - "Medical claims"
Me - "OH! Oh, were you calling from a Dr's office?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes"
Me - "Oh ok, oh well that explains why you didn't have their membership number. Ok I'll written that name down, could I just grab the patient's address, date of birth and the item numbers you're chasing up"
Stupid Customer - ***Ignoring everything I just said*** "Yeah so how come you people haven'tpaid my daughter's claim?"
Me - "Your...daughter's claim? OK, just so I can clarify. Who is this claim for?First you said it was yours..then you said you were calling from a Dr's office... I need to verify who I'm speaking with before I can proceed. "
Stupid Customer - "It's my daughter's claim. You people never paid on it. Why."
Me - "Ok, so it's your daughter's claim. Is she on your policy?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes"
Me - "Ok, that's fine, if she is on your policy then I can discuss her claim with you. Now when I brought her name up before it only had her name there. Did she recently transfer to your policy then?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes"
Me - "OK, what was your name, I'll bring her details up that way ***I get his details and search - sure enough, I find his policy, but she is not on it*** Ok, I found your details, but she is not on your policy"
Stupid Customer - "Right"
Me - "Ok but you said she was on your policy"
Stupid Customer - "I have authority"
Me - "There is no authority for anyone on her policy. Did she send us a written letter of authority for you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes"
Me - "Ok, was that very recent? It might not be loaded on file yet"
Stupid Customer - "Why didn't you pay her claim?"
Me - "I can't discuss anything until I find this letter of authority. Did she mail or fax it?"
Stupid Customer - "She hasn't sent one"
Me - "Ok. You will need to get your daughter to call. Thanks, bye!"
What did he think lying at every question was going to achieve?
What a dumb f**k.
Baby Brain? Nar, just a real d**khead.
Stupid Customer - "Oh good, you're a woman, I'm glad you answered, you will understand. Not like an idiot man! I'm pregnant and due in a few weeks, and I called in about 15 minutes ago and some idiot MAN told me that I wasn't covered for the birth! He said I wasn't on the right level of cover and that if I changed policies, I would have to serve 'waiting periods'! Can you believe that! Now I'm glad that YOU answered, as a woman, I'm sure YOU can sort this out, daaaaaaahls
Me - "Ok, so I can see here that you were actually told the correct information. We have very clear notes that you called in quite a while ago - 3 times - and told us you were planning on becoming pregnant and wanted to know your cover. We told you each time that if you stayed on your current level of cover you would be covered for nothing as pregnancy is not included. We advised you would need to upgrade your policy, and you would need to do so at least 3 months prior to falling pregnant, to ensure your waits had been served by the time a baby would be born. We also have it noted that during each of these conversations, you told us the prices for upgrading were too high, you were unhappy with our company, and you would be changing health insurers."
Stupid Customer - *SIGH* "None of that is relevant. I'm due in a few weeks. You're a women so you will understand! Can you please go and sort this out, I've wasted so much time on the phone now to you people, I'm really unhappy with this kind of service! *SIGH*"
Me - "I don't really know what else to tell you. We told you what was required to be covered for this pregnancy, you blatantly ignored that advice. There is no way this birth will be covered through private health insurance.Me being a woman doesn't change that"
Stupid Customer - *screaming* "This is a f**king joke! I've been with your company for over 30 years, I'm a loyal member! No-one ever warned me I wouldn't be covered! You're a woman, I can't believe you would betray another woman like this! I was NEVER told any of this, you need to go and get a manager right now. I'm going to take my business elsewhere, you hear me? I'm changing companies! You guys are cheats!"
Me - "I don't see how this is a 'joke'. We told you 3 times that you weren't covered on this level of cover. I can organize for copies of those phone calls to be sent to you, if you like? Also it states here that you've only been a member with this fund for just over a year. You're also only 23 years old so I don't quite see how you could hold 30+ year membership with any organization, actually. Now you're welcome to join another fund if you like, just be aware that these rules relating to pregnancy are the same across the industry. I'll send you a cancellation form today. And again, to make it abundantly clear, I once again state that you are not covered for pregnancy on this policy. As advised to you across over 5 phone calls now. Thanks for calling"
*CLICK*
Another time when I was happy to have the team leader that I did. If I had of handled this call in other other way, I'd have been told off [seriously]
Couldn't do that kind of thing now though...
Me - "Ok, so I can see here that you were actually told the correct information. We have very clear notes that you called in quite a while ago - 3 times - and told us you were planning on becoming pregnant and wanted to know your cover. We told you each time that if you stayed on your current level of cover you would be covered for nothing as pregnancy is not included. We advised you would need to upgrade your policy, and you would need to do so at least 3 months prior to falling pregnant, to ensure your waits had been served by the time a baby would be born. We also have it noted that during each of these conversations, you told us the prices for upgrading were too high, you were unhappy with our company, and you would be changing health insurers."
Stupid Customer - *SIGH* "None of that is relevant. I'm due in a few weeks. You're a women so you will understand! Can you please go and sort this out, I've wasted so much time on the phone now to you people, I'm really unhappy with this kind of service! *SIGH*"
Me - "I don't really know what else to tell you. We told you what was required to be covered for this pregnancy, you blatantly ignored that advice. There is no way this birth will be covered through private health insurance.Me being a woman doesn't change that"
Stupid Customer - *screaming* "This is a f**king joke! I've been with your company for over 30 years, I'm a loyal member! No-one ever warned me I wouldn't be covered! You're a woman, I can't believe you would betray another woman like this! I was NEVER told any of this, you need to go and get a manager right now. I'm going to take my business elsewhere, you hear me? I'm changing companies! You guys are cheats!"
Me - "I don't see how this is a 'joke'. We told you 3 times that you weren't covered on this level of cover. I can organize for copies of those phone calls to be sent to you, if you like? Also it states here that you've only been a member with this fund for just over a year. You're also only 23 years old so I don't quite see how you could hold 30+ year membership with any organization, actually. Now you're welcome to join another fund if you like, just be aware that these rules relating to pregnancy are the same across the industry. I'll send you a cancellation form today. And again, to make it abundantly clear, I once again state that you are not covered for pregnancy on this policy. As advised to you across over 5 phone calls now. Thanks for calling"
*CLICK*
Another time when I was happy to have the team leader that I did. If I had of handled this call in other other way, I'd have been told off [seriously]
Couldn't do that kind of thing now though...
Thursday 28 July 2011
Stupid customer - "Hi, yeah I was just there at your branch a few minutes ago"
***silence***
Me - "Ok...and how could I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "I think I left something there. What can I do?"
***silence***
Me - "Um...you could come back and get it?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh ok, thanks"
Um....wtf???
I'm thinking it was her brain that she left behind.
Dipsh*t.
***silence***
Me - "Ok...and how could I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "I think I left something there. What can I do?"
***silence***
Me - "Um...you could come back and get it?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh ok, thanks"
Um....wtf???
I'm thinking it was her brain that she left behind.
Dipsh*t.
Do you pay on stupidity?
Remember - I work in a HEALTH INSURANCE company...these are all actual questions I've been asked since I first started working in this industry.
Stupid Customer - "I bought an electric toothbrush. Can I claim on that?"
Me - "Yes but not on a manual one"
Stupid Customer - "Really?"
Me - "No"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah how much do I get back on this new paddleboat that I bought"
Me - "That would be nothing"
Stupid Customer - "Do you pay on electric shock therapy, like where they zap you to make you better and stuff but not like enough to like kill you and stuff?"
Me - "No, no we do not"
Stupid Customer - "Do you pay anything if my house gets flooded and I have to repair the floorboards, cause the floor costs alot?"
Me - "No"
Stupid Customer - "Do you pay if my dog ran our and hit a car and now the guy says I have to pay for the car damage 'cause the dog ran infront and got hit and kinda like flew up and went into the windshield and there was all this glass but the dogs ok but then now the guy said he wants to sue me for the car damage but then I'm not working at the moment and it's not even really my dog 'cause it's like my sisters but then it stays at my house cause she has a kid and its allergic to the dig but then one time the kid hit the dog and then the dog barked at the kid and then the kid cried so then my sister said ok you take the dog. So, like, do you pay on that?
Me - "What was the question aga....acutally, forget it..no. No we don't pay"
Stupid Customer - "I bought an electric toothbrush. Can I claim on that?"
Me - "Yes but not on a manual one"
Stupid Customer - "Really?"
Me - "No"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah how much do I get back on this new paddleboat that I bought"
Me - "That would be nothing"
Stupid Customer - "Do you pay on electric shock therapy, like where they zap you to make you better and stuff but not like enough to like kill you and stuff?"
Me - "No, no we do not"
Stupid Customer - "Do you pay anything if my house gets flooded and I have to repair the floorboards, cause the floor costs alot?"
Me - "No"
Stupid Customer - "Do you pay if my dog ran our and hit a car and now the guy says I have to pay for the car damage 'cause the dog ran infront and got hit and kinda like flew up and went into the windshield and there was all this glass but the dogs ok but then now the guy said he wants to sue me for the car damage but then I'm not working at the moment and it's not even really my dog 'cause it's like my sisters but then it stays at my house cause she has a kid and its allergic to the dig but then one time the kid hit the dog and then the dog barked at the kid and then the kid cried so then my sister said ok you take the dog. So, like, do you pay on that?
Me - "What was the question aga....acutally, forget it..no. No we don't pay"
I'm allowed to be stupid because I'm old!
Stupid Customer - "Yes, listen here young lady. I've been a member for over 30 years. I'm 84 yrs old. I sent you people a letter recently complaining that my local hospital doesn't have any private rooms! Every time I have to go there, I have to stay in a room with 5 other bloody old men!"
Me - "Yes, I can see that you sent that. We sent you a letter back advising that that kind of issue doesn't actually have anything to do with your health fund, we ensure you for your stay but we have no influence whatsoever as to how they build the hospital. We sent that letter over a week ago, you should be receiving it shortly"
Stupid Customer - "I got the letter right here in front of me! I want you to explain what the bloody hell you're on about! Every time I go to that bloody hospital...."
***rants for a few minutes, not letting me speak***
Me - "Hi there, I'm really sorry to have to interject here, but that's why we sent you that letter. None of this has anything to so with the health fund. You need to contact your local Government rep to discuss your concerns further"
Stupid Customer - "I've been with you people for over 30 years, and every bloody time I go in..."
***rants again, this time for just over 5 minutes***
Me - ***bluntly*** "Right, so we sent you that letter with the number for who you need to call. You're complaining to the wrong people, we have no control over how many rooms a hospital chooses to build. please call the number on the letter"
Stupid Customer - "Listen here young lady, I'm 84 years old and have been a member for over 30 years, you bloody people don't want to help me..."
Me - "We helped you by sending that letter"
Stupid Customer - "So what should I do?"
Me - "Cal the number on the letter"
Stupid Customer - "Well why don't you people just write that on the bloody letter in the first place, I'm 84 yrs old, I don't have time to be calling you people every 5 minutes!"
Me - "It is on the letter, and I just told you several times to call them as well"
Stupid customer - "Well if you hadn't been wasting so much time with your girlfriends gossipying away then maybe I would have heard you"
Me - "??? ... there are no girlfriends. Go call that number. Thanks for calling, bye"
Me - "Yes, I can see that you sent that. We sent you a letter back advising that that kind of issue doesn't actually have anything to do with your health fund, we ensure you for your stay but we have no influence whatsoever as to how they build the hospital. We sent that letter over a week ago, you should be receiving it shortly"
Stupid Customer - "I got the letter right here in front of me! I want you to explain what the bloody hell you're on about! Every time I go to that bloody hospital...."
***rants for a few minutes, not letting me speak***
Me - "Hi there, I'm really sorry to have to interject here, but that's why we sent you that letter. None of this has anything to so with the health fund. You need to contact your local Government rep to discuss your concerns further"
Stupid Customer - "I've been with you people for over 30 years, and every bloody time I go in..."
***rants again, this time for just over 5 minutes***
Me - ***bluntly*** "Right, so we sent you that letter with the number for who you need to call. You're complaining to the wrong people, we have no control over how many rooms a hospital chooses to build. please call the number on the letter"
Stupid Customer - "Listen here young lady, I'm 84 years old and have been a member for over 30 years, you bloody people don't want to help me..."
Me - "We helped you by sending that letter"
Stupid Customer - "So what should I do?"
Me - "Cal the number on the letter"
Stupid Customer - "Well why don't you people just write that on the bloody letter in the first place, I'm 84 yrs old, I don't have time to be calling you people every 5 minutes!"
Me - "It is on the letter, and I just told you several times to call them as well"
Stupid customer - "Well if you hadn't been wasting so much time with your girlfriends gossipying away then maybe I would have heard you"
Me - "??? ... there are no girlfriends. Go call that number. Thanks for calling, bye"
This happened at my previous job. my team leader had been listening in on the call as we were doing coaching, adn was writing notes to me as to how I shoudl handle the call , and how I should respond etc.
one of the few times I thought he was awesome :D
Stupid Customer - "I don't have private hospital cover with you, can I get quotes for that?
Me - "Sure" ***I give all the quotes*** "And I do need to mention if you add private hospital cover there are waiting periods. The main one is 6 months* for all pre-existing medical conditions"
Stupid Customer - "Ok yep that's fine. The Dr has my son booked into an operation next week, can you add the private cover now so that will be covered?"
Me - "Oh no, sorry, that's what I was just saying. There is a 6 mth waiting period for anything pre-existing"
Stupid Customer - ***Suddenly fires up, literally screaming*** "Well what if I just make it up and say it's not pre-existing, huh?"
Me - "Ah... well that isn't up to you at all, sorry, Dr's fill in forms and they decide that. And this is obviously an exisitng condition anyway, I mean, he is already booked in"
Stupid customer - ***Still yelling and screaming like a b*tch on fire**** "Well we have been members for years! You are discriminating against my little son! I'm going to cancel this whole policy and move us to another fund who is good! I'm also going to wait for you outside your workplace and f**k you up, you b*tch!"
Me - ***completely calmly*** "Firstly ma'am I'm sorry but you yourself cannot cancel this whole policy. The policy doesn't belong to you. It is under your husband's name. Secondly, the pre-existing ruling is the exact same for every single health fund. It is an industry rule. So you're welcome to move yourself to another fund if you want, but I think you'll find that it's the exact same with every other fund. Also if you move funds you will lose all loyalty limits and may have to serve or reserve waiting periods"
Stupid Customer - "I don't care, I want to move us all to another fund! I'm doing that today, cancel me, cancel right now, you guys suck! I'm gunna f**k you up!"
Me - "Yeah, as mentioned ma'am the rules are the exact same between all funds but you're welcome to give it a shot. Also as mentioned you aren't authorised to cancel the rest of your family, but you can certainly remove just yourself. So, as per your request, I've just sent through for your own name to be taken off this policy as of today, we will send you a clearance certificate that you can present to other funds if need be. We will contact your husband to advise him of your request to cease cover for the whole family and to get his permission for this if that's what he wants. Now, is there anything else I can help with today?"
Stupid Customer - "What? What do you mean you've removed me?"
Me - "You said you wanted to be taken off the policy today, so I've completed your request. Is there anything else I can help with today"
Stupid Customer - "But I've got a dentist appointment in a few weeks!"
Me - "Okay, you will need to check with whichever new fund you go to see if they will cover you for that then. As mentioned, we will send a clearance certificate"
Stupid customer - "Um, can you just add me back?"
Me - "Sure, if that's what you want. We will send a letter confimring you have been reinstated, your waiting periods restart from today's date"
Stupid customer - "But...no, what? I didn't mean it! I was just yelling at you!"
Me - "And I was just actioing your request. You will receive confirmation of your reactivation and an outline of the waiting periods you have to reserve within 5-10 working days. Now, was there anything else I can help with?"
Hehehehe
I could NEVER get away with that at my current job.
But just goes to show - what goes around comes around.
If you're rude to other then, well...what do you expect!
*NOTE - I've changed the timeframe for what the waiting period really is for the purpose of anomynity
one of the few times I thought he was awesome :D
Stupid Customer - "I don't have private hospital cover with you, can I get quotes for that?
Me - "Sure" ***I give all the quotes*** "And I do need to mention if you add private hospital cover there are waiting periods. The main one is 6 months* for all pre-existing medical conditions"
Stupid Customer - "Ok yep that's fine. The Dr has my son booked into an operation next week, can you add the private cover now so that will be covered?"
Me - "Oh no, sorry, that's what I was just saying. There is a 6 mth waiting period for anything pre-existing"
Stupid Customer - ***Suddenly fires up, literally screaming*** "Well what if I just make it up and say it's not pre-existing, huh?"
Me - "Ah... well that isn't up to you at all, sorry, Dr's fill in forms and they decide that. And this is obviously an exisitng condition anyway, I mean, he is already booked in"
Stupid customer - ***Still yelling and screaming like a b*tch on fire**** "Well we have been members for years! You are discriminating against my little son! I'm going to cancel this whole policy and move us to another fund who is good! I'm also going to wait for you outside your workplace and f**k you up, you b*tch!"
Me - ***completely calmly*** "Firstly ma'am I'm sorry but you yourself cannot cancel this whole policy. The policy doesn't belong to you. It is under your husband's name. Secondly, the pre-existing ruling is the exact same for every single health fund. It is an industry rule. So you're welcome to move yourself to another fund if you want, but I think you'll find that it's the exact same with every other fund. Also if you move funds you will lose all loyalty limits and may have to serve or reserve waiting periods"
Stupid Customer - "I don't care, I want to move us all to another fund! I'm doing that today, cancel me, cancel right now, you guys suck! I'm gunna f**k you up!"
Me - "Yeah, as mentioned ma'am the rules are the exact same between all funds but you're welcome to give it a shot. Also as mentioned you aren't authorised to cancel the rest of your family, but you can certainly remove just yourself. So, as per your request, I've just sent through for your own name to be taken off this policy as of today, we will send you a clearance certificate that you can present to other funds if need be. We will contact your husband to advise him of your request to cease cover for the whole family and to get his permission for this if that's what he wants. Now, is there anything else I can help with today?"
Stupid Customer - "What? What do you mean you've removed me?"
Me - "You said you wanted to be taken off the policy today, so I've completed your request. Is there anything else I can help with today"
Stupid Customer - "But I've got a dentist appointment in a few weeks!"
Me - "Okay, you will need to check with whichever new fund you go to see if they will cover you for that then. As mentioned, we will send a clearance certificate"
Stupid customer - "Um, can you just add me back?"
Me - "Sure, if that's what you want. We will send a letter confimring you have been reinstated, your waiting periods restart from today's date"
Stupid customer - "But...no, what? I didn't mean it! I was just yelling at you!"
Me - "And I was just actioing your request. You will receive confirmation of your reactivation and an outline of the waiting periods you have to reserve within 5-10 working days. Now, was there anything else I can help with?"
Hehehehe
I could NEVER get away with that at my current job.
But just goes to show - what goes around comes around.
If you're rude to other then, well...what do you expect!
*NOTE - I've changed the timeframe for what the waiting period really is for the purpose of anomynity
Me - "Ok so to get your months free premium you have to be on direct debit. We have you paying by cash. If you chnage to direct debitm, you get a months free"
Stupid Customer - "Oh ok, yeah, I want the months free. So Ihave to go on direct debit to get it?"
Me - "That's correct. So did you have your bank details with you now? If you do I can set the direct debit up and you can get your months free"
Stupid Customer - "Yep, hang on a second"
***I wait for about 2 minutes, he comes back***
Stupid Customer - "Ok I just made a payment with my credit card. So when will I get my months free?"
And he was serious as well.
What a dumb f**k.
Stupid Customer - "Oh ok, yeah, I want the months free. So Ihave to go on direct debit to get it?"
Me - "That's correct. So did you have your bank details with you now? If you do I can set the direct debit up and you can get your months free"
Stupid Customer - "Yep, hang on a second"
***I wait for about 2 minutes, he comes back***
Stupid Customer - "Ok I just made a payment with my credit card. So when will I get my months free?"
And he was serious as well.
What a dumb f**k.
Stupid Customer - "Yeah look I sent a claim in over a month ago and I still haven't been paid for it. You people are hopeless. I need to speak to a manager now!"
Me - "Ok let me just have a look here... ok so you say you sent it in a month ago..."
Stupid Customer - "Yeah! Where's my money?"
Me - "Ok I'm not seeing any claim on the system here. When did the service take place, I'll have a look through all claims received in our mailroom around then"
***Gives me a date that was less than a week ago***
Me - "Oh, ok..um..but didn't you say you sent the claim in over a month ago?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah I did! You people are taking forever!"
Me - "Ok...I'm just not sure how you managed to send us the claim weeks before it actually took place"
Stupid Customer - ***a whole lotta stammering***
MORON
Why do some people lie like this.
Why.
*tsk tsk*
Me - "Ok let me just have a look here... ok so you say you sent it in a month ago..."
Stupid Customer - "Yeah! Where's my money?"
Me - "Ok I'm not seeing any claim on the system here. When did the service take place, I'll have a look through all claims received in our mailroom around then"
***Gives me a date that was less than a week ago***
Me - "Oh, ok..um..but didn't you say you sent the claim in over a month ago?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah I did! You people are taking forever!"
Me - "Ok...I'm just not sure how you managed to send us the claim weeks before it actually took place"
Stupid Customer - ***a whole lotta stammering***
MORON
Why do some people lie like this.
Why.
*tsk tsk*
Tuesday 26 July 2011
I don't get it
Me - "Ok so we processed your claim, and I can see that you got $50 back, it should be in your bank account now, we processed that claim a week ago now"
Stupid Customer - "I don't get it"
Me - "Oh ok... ok so you sent us a dental claim, the one where the fee was $50? You have top cover so in this instance, you were able to claim the full cost of the service back. the money should be in your account now"
Stupid Customer - "I don't get it"
Me - "Ok...so just to clarify, which part of the claim is unclear?"
Stupid Customer - "All of it"
Me - "Ok... so you sent us a claim. We paid a $50 rebate to your bank account. I'm not sure what other part of that I can explain any better?"
Stupid Customer - "Where's my money?"
Me - "We deposited the $50 into your bank account a week ago ***I confirm the bank account we have and it si correct"
Stupid Customer - "It's not there. You people ripped me off again!"
Me - "Oh... ok, I don't see any notes of a previous complaint or problem with your policy? For this one though we definetely have it noted as paid so I would firstly check with your bank if the funds are missing, if no luck you can lodge a trace with us..."
*** interrupts me ***
Stupid Customer - "Yeah lodge a trace, you people have ripped me off again! Do a trace now"
Me - "Ok, I'll pass this through... so just a few details for me to note down... when you checked your account there was there any reference at all for Health Insurance Inc, any figure or payment at all that you could see?"
Stupid Customer - "I haven't checked my account"
Me - "Right... so how do you know the money isn't there?"
Stupid Customer - "'Cause you people always rip me off"
Me - "Ok when was that, you keep saying we've ripped you off but like I mentioned there is nothing of the sort noted on your policy. I think I need to refer your policy through for investigation 'cause from what you're saying, it sounds like there are a whole series of complaints you had wanted logged but haven't been followed up on"
Stupid Customer - "I didn't lodge any complaints"
Me - "Right... ok so you need to go and actually check your bank account for this claim. That would be a good starting point, yeah? Thanks for calling"
And the guy wasn't just messing with me either, he was deadly serious the whole covnersation.
And what's even sadder is this isn't the first time I've had a conversation like this wtih a customer.
Wow
Stupid Customer - "I don't get it"
Me - "Oh ok... ok so you sent us a dental claim, the one where the fee was $50? You have top cover so in this instance, you were able to claim the full cost of the service back. the money should be in your account now"
Stupid Customer - "I don't get it"
Me - "Ok...so just to clarify, which part of the claim is unclear?"
Stupid Customer - "All of it"
Me - "Ok... so you sent us a claim. We paid a $50 rebate to your bank account. I'm not sure what other part of that I can explain any better?"
Stupid Customer - "Where's my money?"
Me - "We deposited the $50 into your bank account a week ago ***I confirm the bank account we have and it si correct"
Stupid Customer - "It's not there. You people ripped me off again!"
Me - "Oh... ok, I don't see any notes of a previous complaint or problem with your policy? For this one though we definetely have it noted as paid so I would firstly check with your bank if the funds are missing, if no luck you can lodge a trace with us..."
*** interrupts me ***
Stupid Customer - "Yeah lodge a trace, you people have ripped me off again! Do a trace now"
Me - "Ok, I'll pass this through... so just a few details for me to note down... when you checked your account there was there any reference at all for Health Insurance Inc, any figure or payment at all that you could see?"
Stupid Customer - "I haven't checked my account"
Me - "Right... so how do you know the money isn't there?"
Stupid Customer - "'Cause you people always rip me off"
Me - "Ok when was that, you keep saying we've ripped you off but like I mentioned there is nothing of the sort noted on your policy. I think I need to refer your policy through for investigation 'cause from what you're saying, it sounds like there are a whole series of complaints you had wanted logged but haven't been followed up on"
Stupid Customer - "I didn't lodge any complaints"
Me - "Right... ok so you need to go and actually check your bank account for this claim. That would be a good starting point, yeah? Thanks for calling"
And the guy wasn't just messing with me either, he was deadly serious the whole covnersation.
And what's even sadder is this isn't the first time I've had a conversation like this wtih a customer.
Wow
Monday 25 July 2011
Run-in at the supermarket
I've never had a public 'spat' with anyone. That is, until last night.
Last night, I had my first ever 'run-in' with someone.
I was at my local supermarket [as is the theme of this blog, I won't reveal the name of where it was. This is to protect both the innocent and the stupid :)].
Since I go there every single day, I pretty much know all the faces there [as lame as that sounds hehe].
Last night while I was cruiing the aisles, I walked by a new staff member.
She looked about 45 years old, caked in waaaaaay too much make-up, had a scowl on her face, and looked as though she wanted to punch people.
My first ever public run-in.
And it went as follows:
Stupid staff chick - "Sorry you can't stand there"
Me - "Oh... oh ok, sorry, this is where I always stand to line up for self-serve, sorry. Where abouts do I move to?"
Stupid staff chick - "NO. You have too many items for the self-serve. move to another check-out. NEXT PLEASE! Cash of EFTPOS?"
***I look down at the single onion and single carrot in my hands***
Me - "Um, sorry, I'm not waiting for anyone or anything. I've just got these two things"
Stupid staff chick - ***SIGH*** "Are you telling me how to do my job?"
Me - "Um, no, I'm just telling you that all I have is a carrot and an onion. That's all"
Stupid staff chick - "NEXT PLEASE! Cash or EFTPOS?"
Me - "Um, I haven't moved, I'm still next in line..."
Stupid staff chick - "You need to move to another line!"
Me - "What, why?!"
Stupid staff chick - "Are you telling me how to do my job?"
Me - "What, you just asked that. I just want to buy my carrot and onion, that's all. I don't have too many items. Okay look the guy infront just finished up. I'd love to stand here and keep chatting to you but unfortunetely I'm not very good at speaking crazy, sorry. Thanks, bye!"
And with that I half-ran to the self-serve register, scanned everything through, and ran the hell outta there.
First time I've ever said anything to anyone like that in oublic - I was worried the whole time she was going to walk over and beat me up...
Once I reached the safety of my home though...yeah...if felt kinda good, I must admit hehe
No idea what that chick's problem was though. I'm going there again tonight so we may find out....
Last night, I had my first ever 'run-in' with someone.
I was at my local supermarket [as is the theme of this blog, I won't reveal the name of where it was. This is to protect both the innocent and the stupid :)].
Since I go there every single day, I pretty much know all the faces there [as lame as that sounds hehe].
Last night while I was cruiing the aisles, I walked by a new staff member.
She looked about 45 years old, caked in waaaaaay too much make-up, had a scowl on her face, and looked as though she wanted to punch people.
My first ever public run-in.
And it went as follows:
Stupid staff chick - "Sorry you can't stand there"
Me - "Oh... oh ok, sorry, this is where I always stand to line up for self-serve, sorry. Where abouts do I move to?"
Stupid staff chick - "NO. You have too many items for the self-serve. move to another check-out. NEXT PLEASE! Cash of EFTPOS?"
***I look down at the single onion and single carrot in my hands***
Me - "Um, sorry, I'm not waiting for anyone or anything. I've just got these two things"
Stupid staff chick - ***SIGH*** "Are you telling me how to do my job?"
Me - "Um, no, I'm just telling you that all I have is a carrot and an onion. That's all"
Stupid staff chick - "NEXT PLEASE! Cash or EFTPOS?"
Me - "Um, I haven't moved, I'm still next in line..."
Stupid staff chick - "You need to move to another line!"
Me - "What, why?!"
Stupid staff chick - "Are you telling me how to do my job?"
Me - "What, you just asked that. I just want to buy my carrot and onion, that's all. I don't have too many items. Okay look the guy infront just finished up. I'd love to stand here and keep chatting to you but unfortunetely I'm not very good at speaking crazy, sorry. Thanks, bye!"
And with that I half-ran to the self-serve register, scanned everything through, and ran the hell outta there.
First time I've ever said anything to anyone like that in oublic - I was worried the whole time she was going to walk over and beat me up...
Once I reached the safety of my home though...yeah...if felt kinda good, I must admit hehe
No idea what that chick's problem was though. I'm going there again tonight so we may find out....
Rude...oh so rude...
Well I have just started for the day, and my god was the women I just spoke to rude.
She called in and wanted a tax statement. All good.
She gives me her membership number - no match.
She gives me her name - no match.
Straight away I know what's happened - there is another health insurance company with a very similar name to ours. She has called the wrong company. She did not take this news well.
The conversation went as follows, and as you can see, she just had attitude from the start. What a cranky old woman. Go hug a rainbow or something, sheesh...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Send me my tax statement"
Me - "Ok...did you have your member number?"
Stupid Customer - ***SIGH***...gives me a number that doesn't come up
Me - "Ok I'm not getting a match under that, I'll just have a look under your name"
Stupid Customer - "Jesus Christ!"...gives me her name - again no match
Me - "Hmmm, still no match there. Was the membership number you gave before the one off your card?
Stupid Customer - "YES! *SIGH* Just give me my bloody statement you stupid girl!"
Me - "Yeah...you've actually called the wrong company. This is Health Insurance Inc. I believe you need Our Competitor Inc"
Stupid Customer - "WHAT?! This is the number that was in the phone book! Just give me my tax statement and stop being lazy!"
Me - "Yeah ok, I know we're in the phone book, you just need to check the name of the company you're calling. You've called the wrong company. You said you have your card there - what company name is on the card?"
Stupid Customer - ***yelling*** "Our Competitor Inc!!!!!"
Me - "Right. So I've mentioned a few times during this call that this is Health Insurance Inc. You need to go and call the actual right company"
Stupid Customer - "WHAT?!" ***clicks, as she hangs up***
Yeah. I wish I was stupid too.
She called in and wanted a tax statement. All good.
She gives me her membership number - no match.
She gives me her name - no match.
Straight away I know what's happened - there is another health insurance company with a very similar name to ours. She has called the wrong company. She did not take this news well.
The conversation went as follows, and as you can see, she just had attitude from the start. What a cranky old woman. Go hug a rainbow or something, sheesh...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Send me my tax statement"
Me - "Ok...did you have your member number?"
Stupid Customer - ***SIGH***...gives me a number that doesn't come up
Me - "Ok I'm not getting a match under that, I'll just have a look under your name"
Stupid Customer - "Jesus Christ!"...gives me her name - again no match
Me - "Hmmm, still no match there. Was the membership number you gave before the one off your card?
Stupid Customer - "YES! *SIGH* Just give me my bloody statement you stupid girl!"
Me - "Yeah...you've actually called the wrong company. This is Health Insurance Inc. I believe you need Our Competitor Inc"
Stupid Customer - "WHAT?! This is the number that was in the phone book! Just give me my tax statement and stop being lazy!"
Me - "Yeah ok, I know we're in the phone book, you just need to check the name of the company you're calling. You've called the wrong company. You said you have your card there - what company name is on the card?"
Stupid Customer - ***yelling*** "Our Competitor Inc!!!!!"
Me - "Right. So I've mentioned a few times during this call that this is Health Insurance Inc. You need to go and call the actual right company"
Stupid Customer - "WHAT?!" ***clicks, as she hangs up***
Yeah. I wish I was stupid too.
Sunday 24 July 2011
Hi, I'm a customer & I like to LIE!
Ok well in this instance... not the customer herself, but the mother.
Conversation goes as follows:
Stupid customer - "Yes I need to know what level of cover I'm on"
Me - "Sure, just need to confirm these details *states what is required*"
***she baulks at the address***
Stupid customer - "Ok so it's actually for my daughter, this is my daughter's policy. I'm her mother. But I have authority to speak for her"
***You've just put me offside by lying to me, lady.
And as soon as you hastily add 'oh but I have authority'...I just know that you do not***
Me - "I'm sorry, there is no authority attached to her name here"
Stupid MOTHER - "Look I just need to know what level of cover she is on. She is in hospital"
Me - "Ok, I know this is tricky, but without an authority for you I can't discuss anything. The solution though is to just ask the hospital to give us a quick call and they can do a fund check, problem solved :)"
Stupid mother - "Ok so she's not actually in a hosptial, it's a rehab facility"
Me - "Oh, ok, well in any case, we're able to speak to any registered medical facility so even if it's for rehab, that's fine, they can call us"
Stupid mother - "Look last time I called the person I spoke to told me everything, I don't know why it's a problem"
Me - "Ok, I can see the note from when you called a few days ago. Um... I'm just going to read it to you word for word, okay? 'Mother called, advised her cannot discuss anything till mbr sends authority'. So it seems no-one actually discussed anything with you other than to tell you autority is needed"
Stupid mother - "Look I just need to know how much she pays each mnth ok! She is a single mother and I think she is payign way too much"
Me - "Ok. if she is actually in hospital or a rehab facility, please get that facility to call us direct and do a fund check. In the meantime, we cannot discuss anything with you without an authority"
Stupid mother - "Well what if I just called in and gave you her name and pretended I was her? Huh? What would you do about that, huh?"
Me - "Well if you pass every security measure then you're taking that on yourself. All calls are recorded so if you choose to committ fraud like that and the member chose to take action, we've done our part by asking every security question, it's you that has chosen to committ the fraud, so you woudl be liable. I've also just left a thorough note of everything we've discussed. Now is there anything else I can help with?"
Stupid mother - "Oh...um, no, no that's all, thanks.. ok bye"
Bye bye, dipsh*t.
Conversation goes as follows:
Stupid customer - "Yes I need to know what level of cover I'm on"
Me - "Sure, just need to confirm these details *states what is required*"
***she baulks at the address***
Stupid customer - "Ok so it's actually for my daughter, this is my daughter's policy. I'm her mother. But I have authority to speak for her"
***You've just put me offside by lying to me, lady.
And as soon as you hastily add 'oh but I have authority'...I just know that you do not***
Me - "I'm sorry, there is no authority attached to her name here"
Stupid MOTHER - "Look I just need to know what level of cover she is on. She is in hospital"
Me - "Ok, I know this is tricky, but without an authority for you I can't discuss anything. The solution though is to just ask the hospital to give us a quick call and they can do a fund check, problem solved :)"
Stupid mother - "Ok so she's not actually in a hosptial, it's a rehab facility"
Me - "Oh, ok, well in any case, we're able to speak to any registered medical facility so even if it's for rehab, that's fine, they can call us"
Stupid mother - "Look last time I called the person I spoke to told me everything, I don't know why it's a problem"
Me - "Ok, I can see the note from when you called a few days ago. Um... I'm just going to read it to you word for word, okay? 'Mother called, advised her cannot discuss anything till mbr sends authority'. So it seems no-one actually discussed anything with you other than to tell you autority is needed"
Stupid mother - "Look I just need to know how much she pays each mnth ok! She is a single mother and I think she is payign way too much"
Me - "Ok. if she is actually in hospital or a rehab facility, please get that facility to call us direct and do a fund check. In the meantime, we cannot discuss anything with you without an authority"
Stupid mother - "Well what if I just called in and gave you her name and pretended I was her? Huh? What would you do about that, huh?"
Me - "Well if you pass every security measure then you're taking that on yourself. All calls are recorded so if you choose to committ fraud like that and the member chose to take action, we've done our part by asking every security question, it's you that has chosen to committ the fraud, so you woudl be liable. I've also just left a thorough note of everything we've discussed. Now is there anything else I can help with?"
Stupid mother - "Oh...um, no, no that's all, thanks.. ok bye"
Bye bye, dipsh*t.
So you think I'm a goldfish...
Some customers, I swear, must think they have called in and managed to score a goldfish on the other end of the line. you know, how goldfishes have those 10 second memories? Yep, that's what I reckon some customers think I have.
This presents itself in varying situations, each one as thrilling as the next:
Stupid Customer - "Ok so I want you to send a claim form"
Me - "No problems. One claim form on it's way"
Stupid Customer - "A claim form, ok? It's a CLAIM FORM that I'm after"
Me - "Sure, a claim form. I'll get it sent today"
Stupid Customer - "I don't want a statement. I want a claim form"
Me - "Um...yep, ok. A claim form. Got it. I'm going to send you a CLAIM FORM"
Stupid Customer - "I asked for a CLAIM FORM, ok? Not a statemnt, or anything else. i asked you for a CLAIM FORM"
Me - "Ah yep, I know. A claim form. I'm sending you a CLAIM FORM. The onyl form I have in my head right now is a CLAIM FORM. Claim. Form. CLAIM. It's a form. A CLAIM form. And I'm going to send it to you. Today. A claim form."
-------------------
Stupid Customer - "Ok so I am going a guy that normally only does massage, but he is learning how to do accupuncture. So he's gonna do half hour massage, then half hour accupuncture, on the same day. How much am I gonna get back on the accupuncture part of the session?"
Me - "Oh, I'm sorry. You can only claim on one of those types of therapies per day"
Stupid Customer - "Oh, yeah, he is doing just accupuncture. So how much will I get back?"
Me - "Oh, um, ok... 'cause you just said he is doing half hr massage then half hr accupuncture. And you can't claim on both. Sorry"
Stupid Customer - "No. I didn't say that"
Me - "Oh, ok. um, yeah sorry, you did"
Stupid Customer - "No I didn't"
This presents itself in varying situations, each one as thrilling as the next:
Stupid Customer - "Ok so I want you to send a claim form"
Me - "No problems. One claim form on it's way"
Stupid Customer - "A claim form, ok? It's a CLAIM FORM that I'm after"
Me - "Sure, a claim form. I'll get it sent today"
Stupid Customer - "I don't want a statement. I want a claim form"
Me - "Um...yep, ok. A claim form. Got it. I'm going to send you a CLAIM FORM"
Stupid Customer - "I asked for a CLAIM FORM, ok? Not a statemnt, or anything else. i asked you for a CLAIM FORM"
Me - "Ah yep, I know. A claim form. I'm sending you a CLAIM FORM. The onyl form I have in my head right now is a CLAIM FORM. Claim. Form. CLAIM. It's a form. A CLAIM form. And I'm going to send it to you. Today. A claim form."
-------------------
Stupid Customer - "Ok so I am going a guy that normally only does massage, but he is learning how to do accupuncture. So he's gonna do half hour massage, then half hour accupuncture, on the same day. How much am I gonna get back on the accupuncture part of the session?"
Me - "Oh, I'm sorry. You can only claim on one of those types of therapies per day"
Stupid Customer - "Oh, yeah, he is doing just accupuncture. So how much will I get back?"
Me - "Oh, um, ok... 'cause you just said he is doing half hr massage then half hr accupuncture. And you can't claim on both. Sorry"
Stupid Customer - "No. I didn't say that"
Me - "Oh, ok. um, yeah sorry, you did"
Stupid Customer - "No I didn't"
I called you but I don't know why...
So I've just been reminded of one of the more 'frustrating' things that happens, not only in this job, but I've encountered it over and over in all of my phone-based customer service roles.
"Hi...um...so, I just... um... I'm just calling you because...um...I had to call with...ok so I've got...."
"Yeah so I just called in... um... I called in for my thing...you know, I need my thing. Yeah"
"Yeah so I called and it's to do with my policy and I have to check on something...oh darn-it, i had it written down, I had to check something...can you ahng on for a second...*returns about 3 minutes later*...yeah so I had this thing...oh sh*t I just dropped the piece of paper, can you hang on a second..."
"Yeah I want to check on a claim.........huh? My policy number? Why do you need that? *SIGH* Fine, I'll go get it..."
People.
All I ask is that when you call, you have your sh*t together.
If you went to a restaurant and they asked you what you wanted, adn you stood there for 10 minutes going "Um..yeah...so I want food but...um...I'm not sure what I normally like..it's green I think, or maybe red, red food? No...no that doesn't sound right...is it food that I'm after? I think so...or maybe water...or a different drink of some type..."
They would kick you the f**k out.
Within 2 minutes flat, they woudl be all "B*tch PLEASE. There's the door. Don't let it hit your ass on the way out"
Now sadly where I work, we aren't allowed to ask people to call back when they have a f**king clue.
So I ask that you kindly take the initiative on this one and help me out.
Try not to make yourself sound like a *complete* shat-face when you call in.
Thanking you kindly :)
"Hi...um...so, I just... um... I'm just calling you because...um...I had to call with...ok so I've got...."
"Yeah so I just called in... um... I called in for my thing...you know, I need my thing. Yeah"
"Yeah so I called and it's to do with my policy and I have to check on something...oh darn-it, i had it written down, I had to check something...can you ahng on for a second...*returns about 3 minutes later*...yeah so I had this thing...oh sh*t I just dropped the piece of paper, can you hang on a second..."
"Yeah I want to check on a claim.........huh? My policy number? Why do you need that? *SIGH* Fine, I'll go get it..."
People.
All I ask is that when you call, you have your sh*t together.
If you went to a restaurant and they asked you what you wanted, adn you stood there for 10 minutes going "Um..yeah...so I want food but...um...I'm not sure what I normally like..it's green I think, or maybe red, red food? No...no that doesn't sound right...is it food that I'm after? I think so...or maybe water...or a different drink of some type..."
They would kick you the f**k out.
Within 2 minutes flat, they woudl be all "B*tch PLEASE. There's the door. Don't let it hit your ass on the way out"
Now sadly where I work, we aren't allowed to ask people to call back when they have a f**king clue.
So I ask that you kindly take the initiative on this one and help me out.
Try not to make yourself sound like a *complete* shat-face when you call in.
Thanking you kindly :)
Saturday 23 July 2011
1st post!!!
Alot of my initial posts will be from conversations that took place when I worked at my previous job. This is because when I worked there, a single day did not go by where I didn't encounter a customer who was either completely ass-shat stupid, or so rude that all you can do is sit there with raised eyebrows and say a silent 'thank you' that they aren't someone you personally know. Because that would just be embaressing.
Me - "Thanks for calling Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, is this Health Insurance Inc?"
Me - "Yes, how can I help today?"
Stupid Customer - "I need to get through to Health Insurance Inc..."
Me - "Ah...yep, that's where you've called. This is Health Insurance Inc. How can I help you?"
***silence***
Me - "Hello? Are you still there?"
Stupid Customer - "Ah, yeah. Is this Health Insurance Inc?"
Me - "Yes. Yes it is. Do you have a policy with us? How may I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "GOD! Look I just want someone to tell me why you didn't pay my claim, is that so f**king hard?!"
This guy was pretty same the same the whole rest of the call. Almost as if his brain kept cutting out on itself. I have to admit that it did feel pretty good telling him that his claim had been knocked back as he wasn't covered for that particular service. Heh :D
--------------------
It still amazes me the amount of people who think that telling a blatant lie will get a claim paid/get something done quicker/etc etc...
Stupid Customer - "Yeah listen, you better help me or there's going to be trouble, right? You people are hopeless. I sent in a claim 3 weeks ago and I've heard nothing back. What kind of service is that, huh?And I've wasted my own time and money calling you people over and over, I've called about 5 times, right?And no-one can tell me a damn thing! I either get put on hold or one of you people hang upon me!"
Me - "People hang up on you? That doesn't sound right at all... I'm just bringing up your policy as we speak, this all sounds very strange..."
Stupid Customer - "Yeah it does sound strange doesn't it! I'm thinking about moving to another fund you know, I'm sure THEY wouldn't hang up on their customers!"
Me - "Ok. So just to confirm, this is for your optical claim?"
Stupid Customer - "YES! I'm surprised you were even able to find it given how USELESS you people are!"
Me - "Ok. And again just to confirm, you say you sent it to us about 3 weeks ago, and since then people have either put you on hold or hung up on you?"
Stupid Customer - "YES! God can you just hurry up and get it sorted, right? I've waited long enough, I should go to another fund you know, you people are so useless"
Me - "Ok. Well I've got it noted here that you only sent this in 4 days ago. And every day since then you have called us several times. And every time you've been told that you need to send us an actual receipt if you want to make a claim, and also a claim form. You've sent us a piece of paper that you've hand written on. It says 'I bought glasses on the 3rd of December. Please pay the money into this bank account'. And, um...that's it"
Stupid Customer - "Right! So where's my money?"
Me - "Yeah I'm really sorry but as you've been told over and over, we can't pay a claim unless you provide an actual receipt and submit that with a claim form. We don't pay on hand written notes."
Stupid Customer - "You people are F**KING USELESS you know!"
--------------------
Most people who call a wrong number tend to be cool about it. You normally get the usual 'whoops, sorry about that! Thanks!'...but every now and then you get a crazy on the line...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah I got a notice my power was going to be cut, I've been out of work for a few weeks and have been having a bit of trouble, but you people don't hesitate do you?!"
Me - "Ah, sorry, this is Health Insurance Inc.You've called the wrong company. Sorry about that"
Stupid Customer - "What? I just want to work out a payment plan ok!"
Me - "Ok, but you've called the wrong company, sorry"
Stupid Customer - "So you're saying you can't help me?!"
Me - "Unfortunately not, you've called the wrong company"
Stupid Customer - "You people are f**king useless!"
-------------------
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?
Stupid Customer - "Hi, I'm just calling 'cause I've got an operation coming up and I want to check if I'm covered. I'm on Gold Cover Plus Extras"
Me - "Oh ok, you've actually called the wrong company, this is Health Insurance Inc but that product belongs to Our Competitor Inc. Sorry about that."
***silence***
Me - "Okaaaay.... so was there else I could help you with?"
Stupid Customer - "So...are you going to tell me if I'll be covered or what?!"
Me - "Oh, oh no sorry, what I was saying is that you've called the wrong company. You need to call Our Competitor Inc"
Stupid Customer -***SIGH***
***silence***
Me - "Ah...okay, so, you just need to give them a call and they should be able to help you"
Stupid Customer - "Are you going to transfer me now?"
Me - "Oh, um no sorry I can't do that, I can't dial out"
Stupid Customer - ***SIGH***
***silence***
Me - "Ok so you need to hang up the phone and call them, okay?"
Stupid Customer - ***SIGH*** "What's their number?"
Me - "Sorry I don't know their number"
Stupid Customer - "WHAT?!"
Me - "I said don't know their number..."
Stupid Customer - "Well look it up, god, you're all part of the same company anyway so you should know their number! ***SIGH*** God this is ridiculous..."
Me - "Yeah sorry but we're completely separate companies. I know a few of the products of the other companies but I haven't been able to memorize the phone number for every company in the country yet, sorry"
That was one thing that I did like about my previous manager. He let us talk like that to the really moronic customers :D
-------------------
Again with the lying... I have no idea why but it's as thought people think that we wont actually listen to the calls? As if they can say "Oh no I was told this" and we're just going to stop the presses and be all "Oh you were TOLD that...well if you say so, of course, we will do anything you say. Just because you say so. WE don't need proof..."
Der people...
Me - "Ok so I can see here that you only joined us a month ago, and you haven't held any previous insurance at all. If you're currently pregnant - and due in a few weeks - I'm sorry but you wont be covered for anything. There is a 12 month waiting period for pregnancy so you are well within that waiting period"
Stupid Customer - "What?! I was NEVER informed about this waiting period! I'm already booked into a private hospital, this is all your people's fault. You better go get this sorted right now 'cause I was NEVER told about this waiting period, I was told I would be 100% covered! It's not my fault you people gave the wrong information so you better go get a manager and get this sorted NOW!"
Me - "Ok... there are very clear notes here that when you we're enquiring in the first instance, you asked about pregnancy, specifically. We advised you then of the 12 mth waiting period. You then joined a week later and you asked the same question, and you were given the same answer. I've just brought up your application as well and you have ticked the box that says you understand the 12 mth waiting period for pre-existing conditions and pregnancy."
Stupid Customer - "WHAT?! NO, I was NEVER told about the waiting period, and that was NOT on the application!"
Me - "Ok. In this instance I'll have to refer your policy through to a manager..."
***interrupting and talking over me***
Stupid Customer - "Yeah you better 'cause I was never told any of this and you people are f**king incompetent!"
Me - "Ok. So as I was saying, I'm referring this through to a manager as you're saying that 2 staff member here have basically written down false notes, and you're saying that a fraudulent application has been submitted. Those two calls will be listened to, and a manager will call you back."
Stupid Customer - "Huh? No I don't want no calls listened to...you people told me the wrong thing so you need to go get a supervisor and tick the box on my policy so I'm covered! It's not my fault you people stuffed up!"
Me - "We can definetely look into this for you but the calls will have to be listened to..."
***interrupting me again***
Stupid Customer - "I don't have time for calls to be listened to..."
Me - "Oh no it's ok, it's not a long process, this will all be done by this afternoon ***big grin***"
Stupid Customer - "Just tick the f**king box!"
Me - "Box? Sorry what boxes are you referring to? This is a health insurance company?"
Stupid Customer - "Tick the box to make me covered, you b*tch!"
Me - "Sorry, I don't know what boxes you mean. This is Health Insurance Inc. Anyway, I've just referred your policy through on my end. A manager will call you back this afternoon to discuss the phone calls"
Stupid Customer - ***now screaming*** "You're a f**king b*tch you know that! I'm gunna come down there and smash you in the face, you f**ing s*ut! Tick the f**king box, I don't care about your f**king rules! F**k you b*tch!"
Me - "Ok. So in the meantime was there anything else I can help you with?"
***CLICK*** as she hangs up
And or course...both calls revealed she was told about the 12 mth waiting period for pregnancy. Just another crazy ho stupid enough to think that she could just open her mouth and we would just do whatever she said.
People - this is health insurance. It's not like you've gone to a take-away shop and don't like your burger, so you run back in and whinge "OMG there is a hair in my burger! Gimme a different one!"
Use your brains, please.
Me - "Thanks for calling Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, is this Health Insurance Inc?"
Me - "Yes, how can I help today?"
Stupid Customer - "I need to get through to Health Insurance Inc..."
Me - "Ah...yep, that's where you've called. This is Health Insurance Inc. How can I help you?"
***silence***
Me - "Hello? Are you still there?"
Stupid Customer - "Ah, yeah. Is this Health Insurance Inc?"
Me - "Yes. Yes it is. Do you have a policy with us? How may I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "GOD! Look I just want someone to tell me why you didn't pay my claim, is that so f**king hard?!"
This guy was pretty same the same the whole rest of the call. Almost as if his brain kept cutting out on itself. I have to admit that it did feel pretty good telling him that his claim had been knocked back as he wasn't covered for that particular service. Heh :D
--------------------
It still amazes me the amount of people who think that telling a blatant lie will get a claim paid/get something done quicker/etc etc...
Stupid Customer - "Yeah listen, you better help me or there's going to be trouble, right? You people are hopeless. I sent in a claim 3 weeks ago and I've heard nothing back. What kind of service is that, huh?And I've wasted my own time and money calling you people over and over, I've called about 5 times, right?And no-one can tell me a damn thing! I either get put on hold or one of you people hang upon me!"
Me - "People hang up on you? That doesn't sound right at all... I'm just bringing up your policy as we speak, this all sounds very strange..."
Stupid Customer - "Yeah it does sound strange doesn't it! I'm thinking about moving to another fund you know, I'm sure THEY wouldn't hang up on their customers!"
Me - "Ok. So just to confirm, this is for your optical claim?"
Stupid Customer - "YES! I'm surprised you were even able to find it given how USELESS you people are!"
Me - "Ok. And again just to confirm, you say you sent it to us about 3 weeks ago, and since then people have either put you on hold or hung up on you?"
Stupid Customer - "YES! God can you just hurry up and get it sorted, right? I've waited long enough, I should go to another fund you know, you people are so useless"
Me - "Ok. Well I've got it noted here that you only sent this in 4 days ago. And every day since then you have called us several times. And every time you've been told that you need to send us an actual receipt if you want to make a claim, and also a claim form. You've sent us a piece of paper that you've hand written on. It says 'I bought glasses on the 3rd of December. Please pay the money into this bank account'. And, um...that's it"
Stupid Customer - "Right! So where's my money?"
Me - "Yeah I'm really sorry but as you've been told over and over, we can't pay a claim unless you provide an actual receipt and submit that with a claim form. We don't pay on hand written notes."
Stupid Customer - "You people are F**KING USELESS you know!"
--------------------
Most people who call a wrong number tend to be cool about it. You normally get the usual 'whoops, sorry about that! Thanks!'...but every now and then you get a crazy on the line...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah I got a notice my power was going to be cut, I've been out of work for a few weeks and have been having a bit of trouble, but you people don't hesitate do you?!"
Me - "Ah, sorry, this is Health Insurance Inc.You've called the wrong company. Sorry about that"
Stupid Customer - "What? I just want to work out a payment plan ok!"
Me - "Ok, but you've called the wrong company, sorry"
Stupid Customer - "So you're saying you can't help me?!"
Me - "Unfortunately not, you've called the wrong company"
Stupid Customer - "You people are f**king useless!"
-------------------
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?
Stupid Customer - "Hi, I'm just calling 'cause I've got an operation coming up and I want to check if I'm covered. I'm on Gold Cover Plus Extras"
Me - "Oh ok, you've actually called the wrong company, this is Health Insurance Inc but that product belongs to Our Competitor Inc. Sorry about that."
***silence***
Me - "Okaaaay.... so was there else I could help you with?"
Stupid Customer - "So...are you going to tell me if I'll be covered or what?!"
Me - "Oh, oh no sorry, what I was saying is that you've called the wrong company. You need to call Our Competitor Inc"
Stupid Customer -***SIGH***
***silence***
Me - "Ah...okay, so, you just need to give them a call and they should be able to help you"
Stupid Customer - "Are you going to transfer me now?"
Me - "Oh, um no sorry I can't do that, I can't dial out"
Stupid Customer - ***SIGH***
***silence***
Me - "Ok so you need to hang up the phone and call them, okay?"
Stupid Customer - ***SIGH*** "What's their number?"
Me - "Sorry I don't know their number"
Stupid Customer - "WHAT?!"
Me - "I said don't know their number..."
Stupid Customer - "Well look it up, god, you're all part of the same company anyway so you should know their number! ***SIGH*** God this is ridiculous..."
Me - "Yeah sorry but we're completely separate companies. I know a few of the products of the other companies but I haven't been able to memorize the phone number for every company in the country yet, sorry"
That was one thing that I did like about my previous manager. He let us talk like that to the really moronic customers :D
-------------------
Again with the lying... I have no idea why but it's as thought people think that we wont actually listen to the calls? As if they can say "Oh no I was told this" and we're just going to stop the presses and be all "Oh you were TOLD that...well if you say so, of course, we will do anything you say. Just because you say so. WE don't need proof..."
Der people...
Me - "Ok so I can see here that you only joined us a month ago, and you haven't held any previous insurance at all. If you're currently pregnant - and due in a few weeks - I'm sorry but you wont be covered for anything. There is a 12 month waiting period for pregnancy so you are well within that waiting period"
Stupid Customer - "What?! I was NEVER informed about this waiting period! I'm already booked into a private hospital, this is all your people's fault. You better go get this sorted right now 'cause I was NEVER told about this waiting period, I was told I would be 100% covered! It's not my fault you people gave the wrong information so you better go get a manager and get this sorted NOW!"
Me - "Ok... there are very clear notes here that when you we're enquiring in the first instance, you asked about pregnancy, specifically. We advised you then of the 12 mth waiting period. You then joined a week later and you asked the same question, and you were given the same answer. I've just brought up your application as well and you have ticked the box that says you understand the 12 mth waiting period for pre-existing conditions and pregnancy."
Stupid Customer - "WHAT?! NO, I was NEVER told about the waiting period, and that was NOT on the application!"
Me - "Ok. In this instance I'll have to refer your policy through to a manager..."
***interrupting and talking over me***
Stupid Customer - "Yeah you better 'cause I was never told any of this and you people are f**king incompetent!"
Me - "Ok. So as I was saying, I'm referring this through to a manager as you're saying that 2 staff member here have basically written down false notes, and you're saying that a fraudulent application has been submitted. Those two calls will be listened to, and a manager will call you back."
Stupid Customer - "Huh? No I don't want no calls listened to...you people told me the wrong thing so you need to go get a supervisor and tick the box on my policy so I'm covered! It's not my fault you people stuffed up!"
Me - "We can definetely look into this for you but the calls will have to be listened to..."
***interrupting me again***
Stupid Customer - "I don't have time for calls to be listened to..."
Me - "Oh no it's ok, it's not a long process, this will all be done by this afternoon ***big grin***"
Stupid Customer - "Just tick the f**king box!"
Me - "Box? Sorry what boxes are you referring to? This is a health insurance company?"
Stupid Customer - "Tick the box to make me covered, you b*tch!"
Me - "Sorry, I don't know what boxes you mean. This is Health Insurance Inc. Anyway, I've just referred your policy through on my end. A manager will call you back this afternoon to discuss the phone calls"
Stupid Customer - ***now screaming*** "You're a f**king b*tch you know that! I'm gunna come down there and smash you in the face, you f**ing s*ut! Tick the f**king box, I don't care about your f**king rules! F**k you b*tch!"
Me - "Ok. So in the meantime was there anything else I can help you with?"
***CLICK*** as she hangs up
And or course...both calls revealed she was told about the 12 mth waiting period for pregnancy. Just another crazy ho stupid enough to think that she could just open her mouth and we would just do whatever she said.
People - this is health insurance. It's not like you've gone to a take-away shop and don't like your burger, so you run back in and whinge "OMG there is a hair in my burger! Gimme a different one!"
Use your brains, please.
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