Stupid Customer - "I'm calling about my membership card"

Me - "Sure, how could I help with that today?"

Stupid Customer - "............."

Me - "Hello?"

Stupid Customer - "Yeah, so my card"

Me - "Okay....was there a problem with your card?"

Stupid Customer - "Yeah"

Me - "Okay. And what was the problem with the card?"

Stupid Customer - "It's, like, not doing it"

Me - "Not doing it, sir? I'm sorry, I don't quite understand, could you please elaborate for me?"

Stupid Customer - ".............."

Me - "Hello?"

Stupid Customer - "Yeah"

Me - "Is your card damaged sir?"

Stupid Customer - "Ummmmmmmm............."

Me - "????"

Stupid Customer - "It just doesn't do it"

Me - "It doesn't do what sir? It doesn't swipe properly? Is the card not reading when you swipe it?"

Stupid Customer - "Nar"

Me - "Okay. Well, to assist you I'm goign to need a bit more information sir. Can you please tell me exactly what the issue with your card is?"

Stupid Customer - "No-one will take it"

Me - "O..kay? And have they said why they won't take it?"

Stupid Customer - "They just gave the pieces back, I dunno why"

Me - "I'm sorry sir...the pieces?!"

Stupid Customer - "Yeah, I was bored and cut it up and now no-one will accept it"


Wow.
Just....wow.