Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how may I help you?"

Stupid Customer - "YEAH! So look, if I change health insurance companies, will I get the same benefits?"

Me - "Uh...so just to clarify ma'am...you're asking, if you close down your policy here with our fund and you transfer to another health insurance company , you want to know if you will receive the exact same type of cover with the new fund?"

Stupid Customer - "Yeah, that's what I'm asking. So will I or what?"

Me - "Well...you would need to check the coverage with the new fund directly. We cannot comment on the policies of other health funds that have no relation to us ma'am. May I enquire as to why you're considering changing funds in the first instance?"

Stupid Customer - *yelling* "BECAUSE OF RUBBISH LIKE THIS! YOU GUYS CAN NEVER ANSWER ANYTHING I ASK!"

Me - "Okay. Well as mentioned ma'am, we certainly cannot make comment on a completely separate companies policies. Can I ask what other times we haven't been able to answer your questions to your satisfaction though ma'am? Perhaps there was some misunderstanding?"

Stupid Customer - "Yeah, you guys do it every time, right! I called last week to ask what kind of dental work I need, and the idiot I spoke to said I would have to consult a dentist! A few weeks before that I called and asked if I needed glasses, and was told I had to see an optometrist! And before THAT I called and asked if the guy thought I needed to get my back cracked, and he told me I would need to speak with a chiropractor! You people are just f**king useless, why do I even HAVE insurance?!"

Me - *trying not to laugh* "Well ma'am, your health fund is here to pay a benefit towards services that you claim on. That's what all health funds do. I'm afraid the operators you spoke with were right in every instance there - we cannot tell you over the phone if you have poor eyesight, a bad back, are in need of dental work"

Stupid Customer - "Well the other funds can tell me that!"

Me - "Well...I suggest you join those other funds then ma'am"

Stupid Customer - *CLICK*