I'm not sure if I've already mentioned this before, I probably have, given how often it happens...so I apologise if there is a double up, but I really must say...

95% of the time that a call starts with the customer telling me how long they ahve been a member [without so much of a hello etc], I just KNOW that are about to waste 10 mnutes of my life crapping on about something stupid , that does not at all warrant a complaint.

In the past few days alone, I have experienced the following.
NOTE - In EVERY instance, the customer said this RIGHT after I had said my usual opening spiel ["Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how may I help you?"]...no hi, nothing


"Yeah look, I've been a member for over 20 years, so why did I just have to wait to get through to an operator? I expect better service, I should be connected to someone AS SOON as I enter your phone number!"
Oh but of course! I apologise! See we do have this magic little system that recognises that it is you calling as soon as you connect, at which point it then picks up your calls and bypasses it past every single other person calling in, and directs you right through to an operator sitting in his own room, with a phone, just waiting for you to call, so he can be ready to assist you right away. That magic system must have just been down when you called this one time. Sincere apologies!

"I've been a member for over 10 years, and you people sent me a letter saying that if i wanted to claim on dental, I would need to take out dental cover first! After all this time you people should be paying for all my dental for free, whether I'm covered for it or not!"
Well, I must say, I'm very glad you let me know that's how it works. See I've been paying for car insurance for over 10 years as well, hot damn, they've been screwing me all this time! I'm going to stop paying my insurance now, and if I have a crash, that's fine - they will still pay for damages and repair costs, even though I'm no longer coveredm, because dammit, I'm a long-term customer!

"My wife and I have been members since the 70s. Since we're long term members, we'd like our premiums abolished. Our health cover will be free from this point on, you hear me?"
Yes, I hear you sir. Did you just hear what I said too? Oh, you didn't? That's ok, I'll repeat myself - I called you a f*cknut. Now you have a good day sir, and don't forget that your next bill is due in a month!

"Yes, we've been members for many years, and we recently had a claim knocked back. The letter said we can't claim if our payments aren't up to date. We've been members for years, so click the little button on your screen there and unlock our policy young lady"
Yeah, how about no. I don't care if you've been a member for 2 months or 20 years - the rules regarding payment are the same - if you want to be able to use the policy, you must keep your payments up to date.
So, I just clicked on the 'little button' on my screen, and computer says NO