Me - "Welcome to Health Insurane Inc, how can I help you?"

Stupid Customer, yelling - "Well nice to see someone decided to FINALLY answer my call! I've been on hold for almost half an hour!"

*I look over at the very accurate call timer*

Me - "Okay ma'am, I've got it saying you've been on hold for just under 3 minutes...how can I help you today?"

Stupid Customer - "Well your computers are broken the because I've been on hold for almost an hour, this is ridiculous!"

*An hour? Wasn't it just half an hour?Already my eyes are about to roll out of my head, I'm rolling them so much right now...*

Me - "That's very unusal ma'am, aside form the previous call I was on, there was actually no-body else calling our lines for the 20 minutes or so prior to that, so I'm not quite sure how you ended up on hold for such a lengthy period of time? In any case, now that you're gotten through, how could I help you today?"

Stupid Customer - "I spoke to a girl there earlier today and she toldme I would have my rebate paid into my account immediately! Well, I'm looking at my account online as we speak, and the money isn't there, so get her back on the phone so she can explain herself and get this sorted out right away!"

*I take down her details, bring up her policy, read through all the notes...*

Me - "Okay ma'am, so I can see that you had called in earlier today regarding a claim you had sent us for dental work that wehad sent back declined?"

Stupid Customer - "That's the one! You people made a horrible mistake there, so I called in and let you know how imcompetent you all are, and the girl I spoke to apologised and said she will make the money would be in my account by this afternoon, and she was also going to make sure I was gievn $150 extra as compensation for you guys stuffing up"

Me - "Okay. Well ma'am, we do make notes of every conversation. the notes of your policy state that you called in this morning disputing the declined dental claim. You were advised that the reason the claim was not paid was because you do not hold any dental cover. The notes indicate that you that swore at and abused the agent you were speaking with. She notes that she asked you to stop wearing at you, you continued to do so, so she terminated the call. And that's the only note on the policy from today"

Stupid Customer - "Nar, that's bullsh*t, she's lying! She told me that I was 100% covered for dental and that you guys had stuffed up so she would get the money in my account today and also give me $500 compensation"

Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, but that is not is noted on your policy. Furthermore, we would never advise that payment would be in someones bank account that same day as payment always takes several working days. In addition, we dio not have any facility to offer cash compensation? In any case, you've changed your version of events several times while we've been talking..."

Stupid Customer - "That's all bullsh*t! She told me all of this, she is just lying to you!"

*NOTE - the person she spoke with is a friend of mine and sits close by me. She also had no patience for lying idiots like this lady...*

Me - "Okay ma'am, well I mean, the person you spoke with actually sits quite close to where my desk is, and I can see she is there right now. I can trasnfer the call toher if you like and I'm sure she would be more than happy to discuss your version of events with her?"

Stupid Customer - "Huh? Nar, nar she will just lie again! Nar, I wanna speak to a manager!"

Me - "Okay ma'am, no a problem. I'll refer this to a manager for you"

Stupid Customer - "Yeah, yeah good, refer it now 'cause I need the money today okay?"

Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, as mentioned we have no facility for same day bank desposits. In addition, the manager will need to bring up and listen to the call you had this morning to verify what was said before they can proceed"

Stupid Customer - "What? Nar, they don't need to verify anything! Just pass it to a manager and get me my money today okay!"

Me - "Sorry ma'am, you're making an accusation that one of our staff members gave you false information over the phone, and then falsified the notes on your account. Both are quite serious, so a manager will need to review this thoroughly"

Stupid Customer - "I don't want the call listened to, just make them pay me the money today!"

Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, the call will definetely need to be listened to"

Stupid Customer - *CLICK*


And so, for the millionth time, Ionce again make the comment that I DONT KNOW WHY PEOPLE MAKE THIS SH*T UP!
It tellls you straight up when you call us that the calls are recorded! What, do you think we have a message like that playing just for the sheer fun of it, huh?

Dumbsh*ts