Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"

Stupid Customer - "Right! Now you listen, I've had ENOUGH of your company! I want to cancel my policy right now, you hear me?!"

Me - "Okay ma'am, I'm sorry to hear that, lets see if we can't get this sorted out for you. What seems to be the prob..."

*interrupting me*

Stupid Customer - "No no no no NO! Look, I ain't wasting my breath going into it all again with you people, you're all useless and I ain't wasting my time! I want to cancel my policy, you hear me?"

Me - "Yes ma'am I hear you, however we may be able to rectify whatever has..."

*again talks over me*

Stupid Customer - "No! Look! I told you I'm not interested, right?! I just called to cancel! Or do I gotta spell it out for you, huh? C.A.N.C.E.L. Cancel! You got it? CANCEL!"

Me - "Yes ma'am, I got it, I'm only asking if you wished to discuss the matter first as cancelling your health insurance is a big move and from experience, there may very well be something we can do for...."

*yet again, she interrupts me*

Stupid Customer - "Look! You're clearly a complete idiot, so go get me someone with half a brain who can cancel my policy for me, or is that too hard for you as well?"

Me - "No that' fine ma'am. To cancel your policy you need to either send in a written request, or fill in the cancellation form via the website. Once the request has been received, your policy will be cancelled"

Stupid Customer - "Huh? What's all this then?"

Me - "I'm sorry ma'am?"

Stupid Customer - "I said, what's all this? So, you get a dissatisfied customer, and first chance you get, you try and close their policy, is that it? Fob off the ones who stand up to you, huh?"

Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, I did offer to discuss your complaint with you but you refused, so I simply complied with your wishes and explained the steps required to cancel your policy"

Stupid Customer - "You did nothing of the sort! You made no attempt to retain me as a customer!"

Me - "Ma'am I did offer to discuss the matter with you, on several occasions, and each time you declined"

Stupid Customer - "No, you never once offered me any type of assistance, not once! You clearly do not care about your customers! As soon as a customer opens their mouth to complain, you cant show them the door quick enough! I have a good mind to take my business elsewhere, perhaps to a health fund that actually cares about their customers!"

Me - "Again ma'am, cancelling your health insurance is a big move. If you like I can discuss any grievances you currently have and talk you through your current policy and any other policy options available to you, just so that if you did make the decision to move elsewhere, you've exhausted all possible options with your current fund first?"

Stupid Customer - "No! I don't wanna talk about anything, I don't have time for that rubbish!"

Me - "If you don't have time now ma'am that's fine, if you like I can mail you a detailed product guide for you to read through in your own time?"

Stupid Customer - "What? No, I don't want any of that rubbish sent to me, I don't read any of the junk you idiots send me!"

Me - "Okay ma'am. Well we do of course value each of our customers, so while you're still here I would again like to ask if you wished to talk through the intial complaint you had, see if we can't get things sorted out for you?"

Stupid Customer - "What? No! No no no no NO! I already told you, I don't wanna talk to you people, about anything! I don't wanna talk to you, I don't want you sending me any of your junk mail, I don't want none of it! You got it? I just wanna cancel 'cause you people are idiots!"

Me - "Okay ma'am. Well, I'm sorry to hear that, but the decision is of course yours to make. If you would like to either send through that written request or fill in the cancellation request via the website, we can get that finalised for you"

Stupid Customer - "What?! See! You people just don't care about your customers at ALL! Can't get rid of me quick enough! Well guess what, you don't wanna help me, then you can get f*cked!"

*CLICK*, as she then hung up


Yeah.
That's really one I'll be sorry to see cancel with us *eye roll*