Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"

Stupid Customer,  in a very rude tone "Yeah I wanna update the address and also find out what we get back on my daughter's dental work"

Me - "Sure sir, I'll just bring up the policy"

*I bring it up - he is listed just as spouse and it is noted that onyl the wife, the policy holder, can make changes to the policy and contact details*

Me - "Okay sir, so I'll be able to help you with the dental enquiry, but for the address we will need to speak to your wife to get that oen updated, as per the notes on the policy"

Stupid Customer - "LOOK, don't you start wasting my time, you hear! I'LL give you the new address, I'm not stuffing around getting my wife to do this and that, this is MY policy"

Me - "I'm sorry sir, but no this is not your policy. It is your wife's policy. And she has advised us that only she will be able to make such changes. I need to mention sir, that I can see numerous notes on the policy here where you have attempted to change details on the policy before, and each time we have told you the same thing, that only your wife can make these changes. Now, what was the dental enquiry that you had there today?"

Stupid Customer - "I'm not happy, I'll tell you that now...but anyway...my daughter is getting braces, how much will they cost me?"

Me - "Well sir, I mean, I can tell you that the health fund will give you a $2000 rebate, you will need to let the dentist know this and then he or she will be able to tell you the remaining cost payable by yourself"

Stupid Customer - "So what does that mean"

Me - "Well...it means, sir, that you can claim $2000 back form the fund. You can get that back in one lump sum, or in installments, however you pay the dentist yourself, basically. For example, if you pay them $2000 or more upfront, you send us that receipt and we then refund you that fund amount, and that is the maximum claimed back. On the other hand, if you choose to pay in installments, for example, $200 a week, then you just send us those receipts and we would pay back that $200 a week until you have reached $2000 in total back from the fund"

Stupid Customer - "You're not making any sense. I said braces. BRACES. You hear me? I asked you how much they're gonna cost me. I'm not sure what's wrong with you, it's a simple question":

Me - "Okay, well I can see if I can do the sums for you if you're unable to sir. How much are they charging for her braces? And what payment plan have you setup with them? Are you paying in one go, or in installments?"

Stupid Customer - "What the f**k is wrong with you?! I don't know any of that! They just said she needs braces, and I'm calling you so YOU can tell me how much they're going to cost me! for f**k sake, it's not hard!"

Me - "I'm sorry sir, are you asking me to tell you how much the dentist is giong to charge you? I can only tell you that the fund will pay back a maximum $2000, but nobody other than the dentist can tell you what they will be charging, the fee is decided patient to patient"

Stupid Customer - "So what do you do all day? You sit there on your a*s staring at the screen? Huh? What's wrong with you? None of this makes sense. I just need you to tell me what the dentist will be charging!"

Me, deadpan voice now - "I'm sorry sir but you've called Health Insurance Inc. We have no direct affiliation with the dentist, they are a private practice. I can only advise you what the HEALTH fund pays back on braces. I cannot comment on what the independant DENTIST will choose to charge you and your daughter, they decide their fees, not the fund"

Stupid Customer - "Bullsh*t, that's BULLSH*T! Why do I pay for health insurance then, huh? Tell me! Why!"

Me - "Well, to be able to claim back on services that you are covered for sir?"

Stupid Customer -  "Yeah, and to serve me!"

Me - "Well, we can certainly help you with any queries you have that relate to this company and the policy you have, however we aren't able to help you with something that has, frankly, nothing to do with us. I suggest you contact the dentist and ask him dierct what he is choosing to charge"

Stupid Customer - "You've been very unhelpful, thanks!" *CLICK*

Ah-huh.
Bye bye, fu*cktard