Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"

Stupid Customer - "I need to lodge a complaint"

Me - "Okay ma'am, what seems to be the problem?"

Stupid Customer - "I was told by your staff there a week ago that you had paid on my hospital claim and that the money should already be in my bank account, but now it's over a week later and there is nothing there! I want to know what's happened to my money, I want it paid into my account today!"

*I bring up her policy and have a look...*

Me - "Okay ma'am, yes, I can see you called 5 times last week and each time we told you the money had been released into your bank account on the 1st. It's now the 11th, so yes, that should have been in your bank account well over a week ago. So it is definately not in there?"

Stupid Customer - "No! I know what's happened, you people have f*cked it up and probably paid it to the wrong person! This kinda thing always happens, no offence but your company is getting more and more useless, and quite frankly I'm sick of it"

Me - "Okay ma'am. Well, I'm going to lodge a trace on this payment on our end. Firstly, when did you last check the bank account in question to see if the money was in there?"

Stupid Customer - "Huh? I haven't checked it at all"

Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, I don't think I understood you correctly. You were saying the money is not in your bank account, I just need the day or date that you last checked that bank account so we can log a search from there"

Stupid Customer - "*SIGH* Yeah, I just told you, I never checked my bank account!"

Me - "O...kay then. Can I just ask then ma'am, how you know then that the money isn't in there?"

Stupid Customer - "You people always stuff everything up so I just assumed you would stuff this up as well"

She ended up checking her account while I had her on the phone, and sure enough, the money had been sitting in her account since the 1st.
What a f*ckwit