Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"

Stupid Customer - "Hi, I was just needing to know, after I have my surgery next week, how do I claim it back and like, how much is it going to cost me?"

*I bring up his policy, get all the details of the surgery etc - all is well, this one is reaaaally straight forward"

Me - "Thanks for waiting sir. Okay, so you have the highest cover available for this type of surgery, so the health fund will actually be covering the full cost. You wont be required to pay anything yourself. The hospital you're going to has an agreement with the fund, where they don't require any payment upfront. I can see they have already contacted us and verified this with us. When you go in for your surgery, you simply need to sign in at admissions. When you're discharged they will then give you a two page document that will be stapled together and is titled 'claiming through your fund'. You will just need to take that document down to the fund branch nearest you - and I can see there is one located about 2 minutes away and you have claimed through there before - and hand that in over the counter and give them your name membership number. then we pay the hospital direct. No out of pcket expense to you at all sir"

Stupid Customer - "Huh?"

Me - "Okay sir. You don't have to pay anything yourself. You just go into hospital, get your surgery done, and when you are discharged, you take the 2 page-document they give you down to our branch and hadn it in over the counter and give them your name and membership number, and we take care of all of the payment for you"

Stupid Customer - "None of that makes sense. Can you maybe explain things in a way that ACTUALLY makes sense?"

Me - "Okay sir, so just to clarify, which part were you a little confused with?"

Stupid Customer - "You keep saying I don't have to pay anything. I asked you how much I have to pay. I didn't think what I was asking was really that difficult to understand, but hey, I could be wrong..."

Me - "I'm...sorry sir. I did actually answer your question. You asked how much you have to pay for this surgery , and I advised that because of your high level of cover, you don't actually have to pay anything for it. The health fund is paying 100% of the cost. You pay nothing sir"

Stupid Customer - "I don't get it"

Me - "Okay. Well. I'm just trying to figure out a different way to explain this then..."

Stupid Customer - "here's a suggestion - how about you stop talking rubbish, and just tell me the exact dollar aount that I will be paying for this surgery, or is that too hard for you?"

Me - "You will be paying zero dollars sir"

Stupid Customer - "Do you understand what I'm asking?"

Me - "I believe so sir? You're asking me how much you are going to have to pay the hospital for this surgery?"

Stupid Customer - "Yes! Exactly! Finally, you switched your brain on! So, how much?"

Me - "Sir, you wont have to pay anything to the hospital for this surgery, the health fund is covering the entire cost for you"

Stupid Customer - "Yeah okay, thanks for nothing, useless cow".....*CLICK*


Really?
I mean....REALLY?!
Don't get me wrong folks, I KNOW that health insurance can be damn confusing at times, it is unnecessarily complex.
HOWEVER
When you ask how much something will cost you, and I tell you it will cost you nothing, zip, not a dollar, your lovely health fund is paying 100% of the cost for you...I do expect you to be intelligent enough to be able to comprehend that!
WTF!