Ok, Im sorry, but I just got some sweet satasfaction out of this...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "I need to update my credit card details for payment and also my address and phone numbers, so basically I just need to update everything in my policy, I want everything changed"
Me - "Certainly ma'am, I can help with that"
*I get off her the policy number and name of the primary member*
Me - "Okay, and just for security, may I please have your date of birth?"
Stupid Customer - "Um....um...ah....no, no sorry I don't give that out over the phone"
*I do get people say this every now and then so I am not yet compeltely suspicious*
Me - "Okay ma'am, no problem, I can use other security questions. Now just to get to those, I will just need to open up the whole policy. For that I will need to please confirm the address that we currently have on file for you"
Stupid Customer - "That's one of the things I'm calling to update"
Me - "Yes ma'am, that's fine, I just need to confirm what the old one is, the one we would currently have on file for you, so I can bring up the rest of the policy and go from there"
Stupid Customer - "Ummmm....um, yeah, ummm I don't remember what it was. It was from ages ago. I just want to change alll the information on this policy okay, just change it all"
Me - 'Okay ma'am. The home telephone number we have at present and the mobile?"
Stupid Customer - 'No they're old too, I need to update all those as well"
Me - "I understand ma'am, but in order to update any policy detail here I will need to verify the information it is that we are replacing"
Stupid Customer - "Okay well yeah, it's all old and I don't remember any of it ok. I just need to change it all"
Me - "Okay ma'am. Well, can you please provide the last 4 digits of the credit card that is currently being used to pay the account?"
Stupid Customer - "Um, no, that's ones, um, closed. It's old. I don't know what it is. I don't have a credit card. "
*NOTE - the card has successfully being debting for a long time. No knock backs. If a card account hasbeen closed, we get a knock back with an error message stating 'account closed - refer to customer"
Me - "Okay ma'am, well the only other thing I can really use for ID here is for you to provide me with the last claim that you made on the policy"
*NOTE - there was a dental claim made just 5 days earlier by the member on this policy*
Stupid Customer - "Um, nar, nar I haven't claimed in, like, ages"
Me - "Okay ma'am, well I'm sorry but since I've been unable to identify you as the policy holder I wont be able to proceed today. To update any details you will be required to go to one of our branches and present photo ID. our branches will be open from next week Monday onwards"
Stupid Customer - "God, I just wanna change all the contact information that's all!" ...*CLICK*
NOTE - I also do the email correspondance for work here and literally 3 minutes later, this email came through:
"Hi, my membership number is *number* and my name is *name*. I need to update my details *lists the new contact and payment details*. I need this done today, if it's not done ASAP I will cancel my account here"
My reply:
"Hi, As just advised, since you were unable to satisfy a single one of the security measures used to identify you as the holder of this policy, you will be required to attend one of our branchs with Photo ID, and a representative can assist you form there once you have been satisfactorily identified.
Your efforts to change the details on this policy have been noted.
Kind regards"
*cough* - dodgy! - *cough*
Friday, 30 December 2011
This is like working Christmas Day all over again [I am lucky enough to be working NYE too...yay, go me]
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Hi, I was just calling in to check how much limit I got left for glasses and physio if I could please?"
Me - "Certainly sir, may I please have your membership numbr so i can brig up your details?"
Stupid Customer - "Yep, it's....hang on, wait. WAIT. Um. Excuse me? Hello?"
Me - "...yes sir?"
Stupid Customer - "What day is it?"
Me - "It's Saturday sir, Saturday the 31st?"
Stupid Customer - "Right. So it's New Years Eve. Am I correct? It's New Years Eve?"
Me - "Yes sir, that is correct"
Stupid Customer - "I will not do business with a company that operates on New Years Eve, I'll be cancelling!" ... *CLICK*
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Hi, I was just calling in to check how much limit I got left for glasses and physio if I could please?"
Me - "Certainly sir, may I please have your membership numbr so i can brig up your details?"
Stupid Customer - "Yep, it's....hang on, wait. WAIT. Um. Excuse me? Hello?"
Me - "...yes sir?"
Stupid Customer - "What day is it?"
Me - "It's Saturday sir, Saturday the 31st?"
Stupid Customer - "Right. So it's New Years Eve. Am I correct? It's New Years Eve?"
Me - "Yes sir, that is correct"
Stupid Customer - "I will not do business with a company that operates on New Years Eve, I'll be cancelling!" ... *CLICK*
Saturday, 24 December 2011
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH hi lovveeeee, I gosh a pol-ceeeee with youse and I just callin' coz ish due for payingssssss"
Me - "Okay sir, sure, I can transfer you to the payment line if you like, but may I suggest calling back at a time when you are perhaps not under the influence of so much...Christmas cheer? I'd just not want for you to make an error with the payment?"
Stupid Customer - "NOOOO lovvvvvvely lady, nooooo, I gosh it all under control my lushley lovely!"
Me - "I really feel like I shoudl insist sir...our payment line is open 24/7, even just a few hours and you should be right..."
Stupid Customer - "Heyyyyyy NOOOOO bisch! BISCH, fug yoo bischhhhhh! Put me onto the maonies peeeeeples, bisch!"
Me - "Okay sir, one moment"
I have to say this call had a happy ending. For me anyway.
I checked his policy - $48 was due.
He keyed $480 into the phone.
Thanks for that Christmas bonus there you dumb drunkard. I tried to warn ya...
[For those of you playing at home, he will indeed be entitled to a refund, so fear not. But given all the upcoming public holidays and what not, he wont see that cashola for probably about 2 weeks now......]
Stupid Customer - "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH hi lovveeeee, I gosh a pol-ceeeee with youse and I just callin' coz ish due for payingssssss"
Me - "Okay sir, sure, I can transfer you to the payment line if you like, but may I suggest calling back at a time when you are perhaps not under the influence of so much...Christmas cheer? I'd just not want for you to make an error with the payment?"
Stupid Customer - "NOOOO lovvvvvvely lady, nooooo, I gosh it all under control my lushley lovely!"
Me - "I really feel like I shoudl insist sir...our payment line is open 24/7, even just a few hours and you should be right..."
Stupid Customer - "Heyyyyyy NOOOOO bisch! BISCH, fug yoo bischhhhhh! Put me onto the maonies peeeeeples, bisch!"
Me - "Okay sir, one moment"
I have to say this call had a happy ending. For me anyway.
I checked his policy - $48 was due.
He keyed $480 into the phone.
Thanks for that Christmas bonus there you dumb drunkard. I tried to warn ya...
[For those of you playing at home, he will indeed be entitled to a refund, so fear not. But given all the upcoming public holidays and what not, he wont see that cashola for probably about 2 weeks now......]
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "I sent in an email 2 days ago and I'm calling to follow up on that"
*I get his details - I recognise the name. He was asking how mcuh he had left to claim on his optical for this year. I had replied to the email within about 30 minutes of receiving it*
Me - "Okay, here we go. Okay so it was actual myself who got that email a few dyas ago, I replied that you had $200 remaining. Did you have an enquiry about that remaining balance sir?"
Stupid Customer - "No, I've had to call in because you never bothered to get back to me, which is prtty poor service if you ask me"
Me - "I'm...sorry sir....as mentioned, I did actually reply to that email, I have my reply sitting in my sent messages box, I'm not sure why you didn't get it? I just replied to the address the email came from?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah that's the right one but I disn't get it. I haven't logged onto my email for a few days, I've been busy"
Me - "...okay...well, I mean...so I did reply but you just haven't checked your inbox at all?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah I guess, whatever, so how much I got left?"
Me - $200 sir"
Stupid Customer - "Right, thanks"
Me - "Thanks, BYE"...*CLICK*
GRRRR.
This kinda thing actually happened every now and then, people will send an email, call in all angry that they 'didnt get a reply', only to confess 30 seconds later that they didn't even CHECK their emails before calling.
Yeah. Those kinda idiots can go play in traffic, dumb f*cks....
Stupid Customer - "I sent in an email 2 days ago and I'm calling to follow up on that"
*I get his details - I recognise the name. He was asking how mcuh he had left to claim on his optical for this year. I had replied to the email within about 30 minutes of receiving it*
Me - "Okay, here we go. Okay so it was actual myself who got that email a few dyas ago, I replied that you had $200 remaining. Did you have an enquiry about that remaining balance sir?"
Stupid Customer - "No, I've had to call in because you never bothered to get back to me, which is prtty poor service if you ask me"
Me - "I'm...sorry sir....as mentioned, I did actually reply to that email, I have my reply sitting in my sent messages box, I'm not sure why you didn't get it? I just replied to the address the email came from?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah that's the right one but I disn't get it. I haven't logged onto my email for a few days, I've been busy"
Me - "...okay...well, I mean...so I did reply but you just haven't checked your inbox at all?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah I guess, whatever, so how much I got left?"
Me - $200 sir"
Stupid Customer - "Right, thanks"
Me - "Thanks, BYE"...*CLICK*
GRRRR.
This kinda thing actually happened every now and then, people will send an email, call in all angry that they 'didnt get a reply', only to confess 30 seconds later that they didn't even CHECK their emails before calling.
Yeah. Those kinda idiots can go play in traffic, dumb f*cks....
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, hi. So I was just calling 'cause my think wont work"
Me - "Okay, I'll just bring up your details to start with if I can"
*I bring up his policy...nothing looks to be out of the ordinary*
Me - "Okay, thanks for that sir, I've got your policy here on my screen. How could I help today, you were saying something wasn't working?"
Stupid Customer - "Um yeah, yeah the thing is just, like, not going in all the way and I like tried to get it in but then it almost snapped and so I was worried I would break it off so then I stopped"
Me, trying oh-so-hard to get the many dick jokes now swirling in my mind out of my head - "Okay sir. Well, you've called through to Health Insurance Inc, was this is a policy issue? I'll just need you to be a bit more specific if you can please sir..."
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, like, I got it from you and then when i try and put in inwards then it almost snaps but it wont go in , I don't wanna break it"
Me - "Okay, and what is it specifically that you are referring to?"
Stupid Customer - "*SIGH* my glasses! The arm on my glasses wont bend all the way in and every time I try and push it hard it almost breaks off!"
Me - "Okay sir, okay, it's the glasses we're talking about, okay... well I can see that those glasses we're bought from *local optometrist*, if they are in any way faulty or require repair you'll just need to take them back to the store you bought them from and they should be fine to assist you from there"
Stupid Customer - "What? NO! I bought them from you guys, you guys have to help me!"
Me - "No sir, you claimed a reabte on them through the health fund but you actually purchased the glasses themselves at that optical store"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, like I got them from that store but you people paid money towards them so it's your fault if they're broken!"
Me - "I'm sorry sir, we simply contribute your eligible rebate but beyodn that we are in no involved in the actual purchase or follow-up stages on the transaction. You will need to take the glasses back to the store to enquire about a repair"
Stupid Customer - "But that place is like 15 minutes away! God, you guys are , like, really useless, you know that?"... *CLICK*
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, hi. So I was just calling 'cause my think wont work"
Me - "Okay, I'll just bring up your details to start with if I can"
*I bring up his policy...nothing looks to be out of the ordinary*
Me - "Okay, thanks for that sir, I've got your policy here on my screen. How could I help today, you were saying something wasn't working?"
Stupid Customer - "Um yeah, yeah the thing is just, like, not going in all the way and I like tried to get it in but then it almost snapped and so I was worried I would break it off so then I stopped"
Me, trying oh-so-hard to get the many dick jokes now swirling in my mind out of my head - "Okay sir. Well, you've called through to Health Insurance Inc, was this is a policy issue? I'll just need you to be a bit more specific if you can please sir..."
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, like, I got it from you and then when i try and put in inwards then it almost snaps but it wont go in , I don't wanna break it"
Me - "Okay, and what is it specifically that you are referring to?"
Stupid Customer - "*SIGH* my glasses! The arm on my glasses wont bend all the way in and every time I try and push it hard it almost breaks off!"
Me - "Okay sir, okay, it's the glasses we're talking about, okay... well I can see that those glasses we're bought from *local optometrist*, if they are in any way faulty or require repair you'll just need to take them back to the store you bought them from and they should be fine to assist you from there"
Stupid Customer - "What? NO! I bought them from you guys, you guys have to help me!"
Me - "No sir, you claimed a reabte on them through the health fund but you actually purchased the glasses themselves at that optical store"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, like I got them from that store but you people paid money towards them so it's your fault if they're broken!"
Me - "I'm sorry sir, we simply contribute your eligible rebate but beyodn that we are in no involved in the actual purchase or follow-up stages on the transaction. You will need to take the glasses back to the store to enquire about a repair"
Stupid Customer - "But that place is like 15 minutes away! God, you guys are , like, really useless, you know that?"... *CLICK*
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Hi, how are you, Merry Christmas to you ma'am!"
Me - "Hi there, I'm going quite well thanks, and Merry Christmas to yourself too, I hope you're having a pleasant say so far"
Stupid Customer - "Excuse me?!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "What did you say?"
Me - "Erm, I was just saying...."
*interrupts me*
Stupid Customer - "You widshed me Merry Christmas!"
Me - "Oh! Well, yes, yes I did, you wished me Merry Christmas and thus I was returning the festive sentiment. How could I help you today?"
Stupid Customer - "Um, NO. Hold up there, right? How do you know I celebrate Christmas? That was VERY presumptious of you, I find this all highly offensive. What if I don't celebrate Christmas? You've just offended me!"
Me - "I do apologise ma'am. As mentioned, I was merely returning the Merry Christmas you had given to myself, I'm sorry if I've caused any offence. Was there a policy I could help you with today?"
Stupid Customer - "No, no I don't think so, I'm sickened by this call, this call is ending now"
Me - "okay ma'am, well thank you for calling in today"
Stupid Customer - "Um...hello?!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "You didn't tell me to enjoy the rest of my Christmas Day and then wish me a Happy New Year!"
Me - "Once bitten twice shy, ma'am"
Stupid Customer, muttering - "Such terrible service..."...*CLICK*
Stupid Customer - "Hi, how are you, Merry Christmas to you ma'am!"
Me - "Hi there, I'm going quite well thanks, and Merry Christmas to yourself too, I hope you're having a pleasant say so far"
Stupid Customer - "Excuse me?!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "What did you say?"
Me - "Erm, I was just saying...."
*interrupts me*
Stupid Customer - "You widshed me Merry Christmas!"
Me - "Oh! Well, yes, yes I did, you wished me Merry Christmas and thus I was returning the festive sentiment. How could I help you today?"
Stupid Customer - "Um, NO. Hold up there, right? How do you know I celebrate Christmas? That was VERY presumptious of you, I find this all highly offensive. What if I don't celebrate Christmas? You've just offended me!"
Me - "I do apologise ma'am. As mentioned, I was merely returning the Merry Christmas you had given to myself, I'm sorry if I've caused any offence. Was there a policy I could help you with today?"
Stupid Customer - "No, no I don't think so, I'm sickened by this call, this call is ending now"
Me - "okay ma'am, well thank you for calling in today"
Stupid Customer - "Um...hello?!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "You didn't tell me to enjoy the rest of my Christmas Day and then wish me a Happy New Year!"
Me - "Once bitten twice shy, ma'am"
Stupid Customer, muttering - "Such terrible service..."...*CLICK*
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "*gasp* - are you a real person?"
Me - "Yes ma'am, indeed I am, how could I help you today?"
Stupid Customer - "It's Christmas Day"
Me - "Yes it is, Merry Christmas Ma'am. How could I help you?"
Stupid Customer, to person in the background - "Hey hon, you gotta listen to this! They've got one of those robot voice things and she sounds so real!"
Me - "That's because I AM a real person ma'am. I'm here working on Christmas Day. How could I help you today?"
Stupid Customer, again to person in the background - "Oh my god! Hon, hon! It's, like, voice activated and all! Quick, come here and say something! She responds like a real person, this is awesome!"
Me - "Ma'am, is there anything I can actually help you with today?"
Male gets on the phone - "Hello? Hello? Yo, motherf*cker, how you be rollin, b*tch. Hahahahahaha"
Me - "Yeah, hi sir, I'm an actual real person, we do have staff on today. Is there anything I can help you two with, otherwise I'm afraid I do have other calls to attend to"
Male - "Yo, this robot be givin' attitude! Motherf*cker!"
Me - *CLICK*
I know I know, I should have TOTALLY messed them with and pretended I WAS actually a robot.....
Stupid Customer - "*gasp* - are you a real person?"
Me - "Yes ma'am, indeed I am, how could I help you today?"
Stupid Customer - "It's Christmas Day"
Me - "Yes it is, Merry Christmas Ma'am. How could I help you?"
Stupid Customer, to person in the background - "Hey hon, you gotta listen to this! They've got one of those robot voice things and she sounds so real!"
Me - "That's because I AM a real person ma'am. I'm here working on Christmas Day. How could I help you today?"
Stupid Customer, again to person in the background - "Oh my god! Hon, hon! It's, like, voice activated and all! Quick, come here and say something! She responds like a real person, this is awesome!"
Me - "Ma'am, is there anything I can actually help you with today?"
Male gets on the phone - "Hello? Hello? Yo, motherf*cker, how you be rollin, b*tch. Hahahahahaha"
Me - "Yeah, hi sir, I'm an actual real person, we do have staff on today. Is there anything I can help you two with, otherwise I'm afraid I do have other calls to attend to"
Male - "Yo, this robot be givin' attitude! Motherf*cker!"
Me - *CLICK*
I know I know, I should have TOTALLY messed them with and pretended I WAS actually a robot.....
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh my GOD!"
Me - "........"
Stupid Customer - "Why are you working on Christmas Day? That's blasphemy!"
Me - "We're open 365 days a year sir"
Stupid Customer - "I just can't believe this! You're supposed to be at home praying on Christmas Day, not working! From the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep, you should be praying! Just praying! I have a right mind to cancel my insurance with you people over this! I am disgusted and insulted!"
Me - "Okay sir, well I can pass through your concerns if you like. In the meantime, seeing as it was you who called me, how could I help you today?"
Stupid Customer - "I need to to look up all the remaining dental benefits on my policy. Today's the one day I've got off in a while so I'm using it to catch up on all my outstanding work"
Me - "......."
Stupid Customer - "Oh my GOD!"
Me - "........"
Stupid Customer - "Why are you working on Christmas Day? That's blasphemy!"
Me - "We're open 365 days a year sir"
Stupid Customer - "I just can't believe this! You're supposed to be at home praying on Christmas Day, not working! From the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep, you should be praying! Just praying! I have a right mind to cancel my insurance with you people over this! I am disgusted and insulted!"
Me - "Okay sir, well I can pass through your concerns if you like. In the meantime, seeing as it was you who called me, how could I help you today?"
Stupid Customer - "I need to to look up all the remaining dental benefits on my policy. Today's the one day I've got off in a while so I'm using it to catch up on all my outstanding work"
Me - "......."
Right. So amid all of my recent training, I have managed to clock up just a few hours on the phones. Of course, that was more than enough time to get to experience the assclownery of the general public....
[PS. Today is Christmas Day. I am working. On the phones. All goddamn day. And today alone I have already have quite a number of post-worthy calls]
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Hi, yeh I took out a policy with you guys the other day and I still havent received anything for it, like no letters, no cards, nothing. I gotta tell you, it's pretty unprofessional and it's making me think I need to cancel already"
Me - "Hmmm, usually our welcome packs are sent out the same day an application is put through the system, lets take a look for you ma'am. may i please start with your name and date of birth?"
*I do a name search - no match. I even try variations, like just name, just date of birth, just surname - nothing at all*
Me - "Thanks for waiting there ma'am. Now, I've done a full search here and I can't actually locate your name anywhere..."
*interrupts me*
Stupid Customer - "Oh great, just great, I knew it was a mistake to sign up with you people, now you can't even find my policy! This is a joke! You better give ma refund and I want it RIGHT NOW you hear me?! This is just ridiculous! How incompetent ARE you people?!"
Me - "I'm sorry you feel that way ma'am, this is all very unusual, I'm not sure why your details aren't showing on our system. Did you sign up at a branch, over the phone or via the website?"
Stupid Customer - "At the branch! I went to your branch on *lists a street on which we do NOT have a branch* and joined up on the spot! Now where's my bloody policy!"
Me - "Er...I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't actually have a branch at that location?"
Stupid Customer - "Are you stupid!? Do I need to ask for a manager here? I walked into *lists the name of a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT health fund* on *their location* and joined over the counter!"
Me - "Uh-huh. Okay well the problem here ma'am is that that is not our health fund. You joined up with a different health fund, you will need to contact them to enquire about the whereabouts of your policy"
Stupid Customer - "Oh don't try and fob me off, I know how it works! You're all the same big company, it doesn't matter which fund I call, you're all on the same system, now where the bloody hell is my policy!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am but we are completely seperate companies. We have no links and certainly do not have access to each other's systems. I;m sorry but the best way I can think to explain the situation is if you walked into KFC and asked them to follow up on your burger order from McDonalds..."
Stupid Customer - "NO, you're all the same company, you're all health insurance, you're just a scammer whose taken my money and now you're trying to fob me off, I'll be sure that the media here about this!" ... *CLICK*
Ah-huh. I hope she does go to the media so they can laugh her stupid ass all the way out the door.
[PS. Today is Christmas Day. I am working. On the phones. All goddamn day. And today alone I have already have quite a number of post-worthy calls]
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Hi, yeh I took out a policy with you guys the other day and I still havent received anything for it, like no letters, no cards, nothing. I gotta tell you, it's pretty unprofessional and it's making me think I need to cancel already"
Me - "Hmmm, usually our welcome packs are sent out the same day an application is put through the system, lets take a look for you ma'am. may i please start with your name and date of birth?"
*I do a name search - no match. I even try variations, like just name, just date of birth, just surname - nothing at all*
Me - "Thanks for waiting there ma'am. Now, I've done a full search here and I can't actually locate your name anywhere..."
*interrupts me*
Stupid Customer - "Oh great, just great, I knew it was a mistake to sign up with you people, now you can't even find my policy! This is a joke! You better give ma refund and I want it RIGHT NOW you hear me?! This is just ridiculous! How incompetent ARE you people?!"
Me - "I'm sorry you feel that way ma'am, this is all very unusual, I'm not sure why your details aren't showing on our system. Did you sign up at a branch, over the phone or via the website?"
Stupid Customer - "At the branch! I went to your branch on *lists a street on which we do NOT have a branch* and joined up on the spot! Now where's my bloody policy!"
Me - "Er...I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't actually have a branch at that location?"
Stupid Customer - "Are you stupid!? Do I need to ask for a manager here? I walked into *lists the name of a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT health fund* on *their location* and joined over the counter!"
Me - "Uh-huh. Okay well the problem here ma'am is that that is not our health fund. You joined up with a different health fund, you will need to contact them to enquire about the whereabouts of your policy"
Stupid Customer - "Oh don't try and fob me off, I know how it works! You're all the same big company, it doesn't matter which fund I call, you're all on the same system, now where the bloody hell is my policy!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am but we are completely seperate companies. We have no links and certainly do not have access to each other's systems. I;m sorry but the best way I can think to explain the situation is if you walked into KFC and asked them to follow up on your burger order from McDonalds..."
Stupid Customer - "NO, you're all the same company, you're all health insurance, you're just a scammer whose taken my money and now you're trying to fob me off, I'll be sure that the media here about this!" ... *CLICK*
Ah-huh. I hope she does go to the media so they can laugh her stupid ass all the way out the door.
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Whys it not going through?"
Me - "Okay...sorry, just to clarify sir, why is what not going through? You've come through to Health Insurance Inc?"
Stupid Customer - *SIGH* "My CLAIM, why is my CLAIM not going through?"
Me - "Oh okay, so were you at the point of sale right now and your claim was being declined, is that correct?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes! God, what else would I be doing?"
Me - "Oh, well it could be a paper claim declined sir, or a branch claim, or an online claim..."
Stupid Customer - "Whatever. So why's it not going through?"
Me - "Could I please get your membership number and I'll look this up for you sir?"
*After much sighing and grumbling he finally gives me enough detail to allow me to login into account*
Me - "Okay sir, so I can see here that you are trying to claim on a massage treatment. Your policy only covers for dental, so it's not going through as you have no massage cover. You can add that cover if you like and it will accessible after a 2 mth waiting period"
Stupid Customer - "What! Okay, are you infront on your computer right now?"
Me - "Uh, yes sir?"
Stupid Customer - "Right, good. Now tell me, how long have I been a customer for?"
Me - "Just under 3 years sir"
Stupid Customer - "Right. And tell me, look it up, how much have I claimed during all that time?"
Me - "About $600 worth if dental treatment"
Stupid Customer - "Exactly. I hardly ever claim. SAnd now you're telling me you aren't going to pay for my massage?"
Me - "Well...yes sir. You can only claim towards services that you are actually paying for. Massage in not part of your dental cover, thus you cannot claim on that service"
Stupid Customer - "You just said it yourself, I've been a member for almost 3 years!"
Me - "Yes sir, and during that time you have only ever held dental cover. Your length of membership has no bearing no this"
Stupid Customer - "Look , I don't who you have to talk to or what you ahve to do, but I WILL be paid for my massage today!"
Me - "I'm sorry sir, no you wont be able to claim on that service today"
Stupid Customer - "Well, I think I'll take my business elsewhere!"
Me - "Okay sir, would you like me to send you a cancellation form?"
Stupid Customer - .... *CLICK*
Stupid Customer - "Whys it not going through?"
Me - "Okay...sorry, just to clarify sir, why is what not going through? You've come through to Health Insurance Inc?"
Stupid Customer - *SIGH* "My CLAIM, why is my CLAIM not going through?"
Me - "Oh okay, so were you at the point of sale right now and your claim was being declined, is that correct?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes! God, what else would I be doing?"
Me - "Oh, well it could be a paper claim declined sir, or a branch claim, or an online claim..."
Stupid Customer - "Whatever. So why's it not going through?"
Me - "Could I please get your membership number and I'll look this up for you sir?"
*After much sighing and grumbling he finally gives me enough detail to allow me to login into account*
Me - "Okay sir, so I can see here that you are trying to claim on a massage treatment. Your policy only covers for dental, so it's not going through as you have no massage cover. You can add that cover if you like and it will accessible after a 2 mth waiting period"
Stupid Customer - "What! Okay, are you infront on your computer right now?"
Me - "Uh, yes sir?"
Stupid Customer - "Right, good. Now tell me, how long have I been a customer for?"
Me - "Just under 3 years sir"
Stupid Customer - "Right. And tell me, look it up, how much have I claimed during all that time?"
Me - "About $600 worth if dental treatment"
Stupid Customer - "Exactly. I hardly ever claim. SAnd now you're telling me you aren't going to pay for my massage?"
Me - "Well...yes sir. You can only claim towards services that you are actually paying for. Massage in not part of your dental cover, thus you cannot claim on that service"
Stupid Customer - "You just said it yourself, I've been a member for almost 3 years!"
Me - "Yes sir, and during that time you have only ever held dental cover. Your length of membership has no bearing no this"
Stupid Customer - "Look , I don't who you have to talk to or what you ahve to do, but I WILL be paid for my massage today!"
Me - "I'm sorry sir, no you wont be able to claim on that service today"
Stupid Customer - "Well, I think I'll take my business elsewhere!"
Me - "Okay sir, would you like me to send you a cancellation form?"
Stupid Customer - .... *CLICK*
APOLOGIES RE. LACK OF RECENT POSTS!
Okay folks. So I'm not dead.
And lord knows I certainly haven't just had a run of getting reaaaaally nice customers ;)
I've not been able to post as often as I'd like as I've been off my normal daily work duties and away in training-land. I am being upskilled, which can only lead to more stupid customer stories, the way that I see it. The more customers you speak with, the more idiots you are sure to encounter :D
Fear not, the posts will still come in as I am curerntly being afforded a few short hours a day in my normal role.
So please peoples, have no fear as to the fate of this site. And again, I am not dead ;)
Saturday, 3 December 2011
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah hi, I've lost all of my log ins and I need to get them all sent to me plus I want a record of all my claims and payments too"
Me - "Okay sir, I'll bring up your details, what was your membership number to start with?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh yeah, I don't have that either. All I can give you is my name, you can bring up all my information that way right, I just need all my log in and password details over the phone okay"
Me - "Okay...and what was your full name there sir?"
*He gives me this*
Me - "Okay, thanks for that. And just your date of birth and address please"
*He gives me the address*
Me - "Thanks sir, and just lastly your date of birth please"
Stupid Customer - "Ummmm, I'm 35"
Me - "Okay, but I just need the exact date of birth thanks"
Stupid Customer - "Ummm, October"
Me - "Okay, and the year and date of the month?"
Stupid Customer - "Ummm....look! I told you, I just need all my login and password details and a breakdown of all my claims and payments, stop wasting my time, I already gave you my details!"
Me - "I'm sorry sir but providing your full date of birth is one of our standard security measures"
Stupid Customer - "Oh yeah? Well what if I just don't give it to you then, huh? What happens then?"
Me - "Then I won't be able to proceed with the call, sorry sir"
Stupid Customer - "Get me your manager"
Me - "Okay, but I do have to mention that these calls are recorded, the phone number you have called form appears on the phone, it's *reads out his number*, and my manager will be wanting to know why you are after such personal information when you cannot even recall your own date of birth. But yeah definitely, if you want me to get a manager, I'll go grab one for you now sir"
Stupid Customer - *CLICK*
Yeah.
That's what I thought, b*tch.
Stupid Customer - "Yeah hi, I've lost all of my log ins and I need to get them all sent to me plus I want a record of all my claims and payments too"
Me - "Okay sir, I'll bring up your details, what was your membership number to start with?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh yeah, I don't have that either. All I can give you is my name, you can bring up all my information that way right, I just need all my log in and password details over the phone okay"
Me - "Okay...and what was your full name there sir?"
*He gives me this*
Me - "Okay, thanks for that. And just your date of birth and address please"
*He gives me the address*
Me - "Thanks sir, and just lastly your date of birth please"
Stupid Customer - "Ummmm, I'm 35"
Me - "Okay, but I just need the exact date of birth thanks"
Stupid Customer - "Ummm, October"
Me - "Okay, and the year and date of the month?"
Stupid Customer - "Ummm....look! I told you, I just need all my login and password details and a breakdown of all my claims and payments, stop wasting my time, I already gave you my details!"
Me - "I'm sorry sir but providing your full date of birth is one of our standard security measures"
Stupid Customer - "Oh yeah? Well what if I just don't give it to you then, huh? What happens then?"
Me - "Then I won't be able to proceed with the call, sorry sir"
Stupid Customer - "Get me your manager"
Me - "Okay, but I do have to mention that these calls are recorded, the phone number you have called form appears on the phone, it's *reads out his number*, and my manager will be wanting to know why you are after such personal information when you cannot even recall your own date of birth. But yeah definitely, if you want me to get a manager, I'll go grab one for you now sir"
Stupid Customer - *CLICK*
Yeah.
That's what I thought, b*tch.
SIGHTING
I witnessed this earlier this morning at the supermarket. It was early, about 6am. I didn't think people could be so passionately stupid so early in the morning, but hey, I was proven wrong!
Checkout chick is scanning this dude's groceries. Checkout chick looks to be about 15. Dude looks to be about 70, and angry. And grumpy.
Checkout Check - "Okay sir, that will be $78.95 please"
Grumpy Old Dude, erupting - "WHAT?!"
Checkout Chick - "Um...that comes to $78.95 please"
Grumpy Old Dude - "WHAT?!"
Checkout Chick - "Ah...your total is $78.95 please sir"
Grumpy Old Dude - "I'm not deaf! I think you'll find that you need to spend less time here at work and more time back in school, because you can't count for sh*t young lady!"
Checkout Chick - "Um, okay, well the items are all added up automatically by the register sir, but if you believe there is some kind of error I can void out the transaction and run it through again if you like..."
Grumpy Old Dude - "No! You won't be wasting any of my bloody time with that rubbish, you should be adding all of this up in your head! Why are you using a machine to add up, do they teach you young people nothing at school these days? See this is what's wrong with the world today, they're producing idiots through the school system! You should be able to add up in your head young lady!"
*At this stage he is being so loud that half the store can hear him ranting on, and sure enough, a manager quickly appears*
Manager - "What seems to be the problem sir?"
Grumpy Old Dude - "I'll tell you what the bloody problem is, this young girl here can't add for sh*t and overcharged me!"
Manager - "Well sir, items are scanned in through the register automatically, so I'll need to just check that something hasn't scanned through twice or something..."
Grumpy Old Dude - "Yeah that's what she's done, that stupid girl, she's scanned my items more than once and overcharged me! I hope you let he go for this, I'm a pensioner and I can't afford to be scammed by these bloody young people!"
Manager - "Okay sir...well I mean, I've looked through your items and nothing was scanned twice..."
*he grabs the receipt out of her hand and starts to analyse it fevereshly*
Grumpy Old Dude - "There! There! See! There it is! She overcharged me on the tomatoes!"
Manager - "Okay, let's take a look...okay sir, well the tomatoes are listed here as 40 cents each, you bough 6 of them, and were charged $2.40. So I can't see that you were overcharged sir?"
Grumpy Old Dude - "See! none of you can add, this is why our country has gone to ruins! 40 cents by 6, 40 cents by 6, what's so hard about that?! Do you need a calculator, huh? Why can people these days not add up!"
Manager - "Sir, I'm sorry but 40 cents by 6 does in fact equal $2.40..."
Grumpy Old Dude - "No wonder our country has gone to sh*t!"
At this stage, he picked up his bag of groceries and THREW them all over the floor and stormed out, ranting to himself.
So, not only was HE the dumbass he couldn't count, he felt it necessary to end the scene by acting like a 2-yr old child.
Niiiiiiice [insert eye rolling]
And for the record, the lovely checkout chick was understandably a little bit shaken but otherwise okay :)
I witnessed this earlier this morning at the supermarket. It was early, about 6am. I didn't think people could be so passionately stupid so early in the morning, but hey, I was proven wrong!
Checkout chick is scanning this dude's groceries. Checkout chick looks to be about 15. Dude looks to be about 70, and angry. And grumpy.
Checkout Check - "Okay sir, that will be $78.95 please"
Grumpy Old Dude, erupting - "WHAT?!"
Checkout Chick - "Um...that comes to $78.95 please"
Grumpy Old Dude - "WHAT?!"
Checkout Chick - "Ah...your total is $78.95 please sir"
Grumpy Old Dude - "I'm not deaf! I think you'll find that you need to spend less time here at work and more time back in school, because you can't count for sh*t young lady!"
Checkout Chick - "Um, okay, well the items are all added up automatically by the register sir, but if you believe there is some kind of error I can void out the transaction and run it through again if you like..."
Grumpy Old Dude - "No! You won't be wasting any of my bloody time with that rubbish, you should be adding all of this up in your head! Why are you using a machine to add up, do they teach you young people nothing at school these days? See this is what's wrong with the world today, they're producing idiots through the school system! You should be able to add up in your head young lady!"
*At this stage he is being so loud that half the store can hear him ranting on, and sure enough, a manager quickly appears*
Manager - "What seems to be the problem sir?"
Grumpy Old Dude - "I'll tell you what the bloody problem is, this young girl here can't add for sh*t and overcharged me!"
Manager - "Well sir, items are scanned in through the register automatically, so I'll need to just check that something hasn't scanned through twice or something..."
Grumpy Old Dude - "Yeah that's what she's done, that stupid girl, she's scanned my items more than once and overcharged me! I hope you let he go for this, I'm a pensioner and I can't afford to be scammed by these bloody young people!"
Manager - "Okay sir...well I mean, I've looked through your items and nothing was scanned twice..."
*he grabs the receipt out of her hand and starts to analyse it fevereshly*
Grumpy Old Dude - "There! There! See! There it is! She overcharged me on the tomatoes!"
Manager - "Okay, let's take a look...okay sir, well the tomatoes are listed here as 40 cents each, you bough 6 of them, and were charged $2.40. So I can't see that you were overcharged sir?"
Grumpy Old Dude - "See! none of you can add, this is why our country has gone to ruins! 40 cents by 6, 40 cents by 6, what's so hard about that?! Do you need a calculator, huh? Why can people these days not add up!"
Manager - "Sir, I'm sorry but 40 cents by 6 does in fact equal $2.40..."
Grumpy Old Dude - "No wonder our country has gone to sh*t!"
At this stage, he picked up his bag of groceries and THREW them all over the floor and stormed out, ranting to himself.
So, not only was HE the dumbass he couldn't count, he felt it necessary to end the scene by acting like a 2-yr old child.
Niiiiiiice [insert eye rolling]
And for the record, the lovely checkout chick was understandably a little bit shaken but otherwise okay :)
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Ummmmm, yeah....so I, like, need to update, like, my thing..."
Me - "Okay sir...what thing was it that you needed to update today"
Stupid Customer, sounding annoyed - "You know, the thing! Ugh!"
Me - "I'm sorry sir, no, I don't know which thing it is you're referring to. Did you need to update contact details? Change your policy? I need some direction if I'm going to be able to assist you sir..."
Stupid Customer - "Oh my god! The thing! You know....ummmmm....like, the f*cking thing, like der!"
Me - "I'm sorry sir, I have no idea what you're talking about"
Stupid Customer, muttering - "Yeah, that's 'cause you're a f*cking dumb b*tch"
Me - "Yeah, no-one can update something for you sir if you aren't able to convey what it is you want updated. Did you want to go and sort yourself out and then perhaps call us back when you know what it is you need from us today?"
Stupid Customer - "No.....I'm not hanging up until, like, you update....um, my thing...[again muttering] you dumb b*tch..."
Me - "Okay, well I'm sorry sir but as mentioned, I need specific information, without that I cannot assist you, and I have other calls waiting to come through..."
Stupid Customer - "No! I'm, like, not hanging up! You can't just hang up on a customer just 'cause they be, like, showing you up and all! That's, like, not professional services to be having! Yeah!"
Me - "So to clarfiy sir, you're saying you will not hang up the line?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah! I'm, like, not hanging up till you fix my sh*t!"
Me - "Okay, one moment please sir"
I transferred his call to an empty desk where it just sat there.
He had called in himself, from a mobile/cell phone.
Last we checked, he had been sitting there for about 35 minutes, before the line finally dropped out.
I can only assume his phone finally ran out of credit. Which was the aim. Fist pumps all round, yo
Stupid Customer - "Ummmmm, yeah....so I, like, need to update, like, my thing..."
Me - "Okay sir...what thing was it that you needed to update today"
Stupid Customer, sounding annoyed - "You know, the thing! Ugh!"
Me - "I'm sorry sir, no, I don't know which thing it is you're referring to. Did you need to update contact details? Change your policy? I need some direction if I'm going to be able to assist you sir..."
Stupid Customer - "Oh my god! The thing! You know....ummmmm....like, the f*cking thing, like der!"
Me - "I'm sorry sir, I have no idea what you're talking about"
Stupid Customer, muttering - "Yeah, that's 'cause you're a f*cking dumb b*tch"
Me - "Yeah, no-one can update something for you sir if you aren't able to convey what it is you want updated. Did you want to go and sort yourself out and then perhaps call us back when you know what it is you need from us today?"
Stupid Customer - "No.....I'm not hanging up until, like, you update....um, my thing...[again muttering] you dumb b*tch..."
Me - "Okay, well I'm sorry sir but as mentioned, I need specific information, without that I cannot assist you, and I have other calls waiting to come through..."
Stupid Customer - "No! I'm, like, not hanging up! You can't just hang up on a customer just 'cause they be, like, showing you up and all! That's, like, not professional services to be having! Yeah!"
Me - "So to clarfiy sir, you're saying you will not hang up the line?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah! I'm, like, not hanging up till you fix my sh*t!"
Me - "Okay, one moment please sir"
I transferred his call to an empty desk where it just sat there.
He had called in himself, from a mobile/cell phone.
Last we checked, he had been sitting there for about 35 minutes, before the line finally dropped out.
I can only assume his phone finally ran out of credit. Which was the aim. Fist pumps all round, yo
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "I'm trying to get to your office in *complete different, wrong location*. I'm lost, can you help me get there?"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, that' not one of our offices. Were you after Health Insurance Inc?"
Stupid Customer - "No. I need *competitor of ours*"
Me - "Oh ok, yeah, that's a different company, I'm sure if you give them a call they will be able to help you with directions"
Stupid Customer - "*SIGH* So you can't help me then?"
Me - "I'm afraid not ma'am, you've called the wrong company"
Stupid Customer - "Oh. My. GOD!!!!"
Me - "........."
Stupid Customer - "Holy CR*P!"
Me - "........"
Stupid Customer - "WOAH!"
Me - "O...kay. So was there anything else I could do for you today ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "ARGHHHHHHHH!"
Me - "........."
Stupid Customer - "Oh sweet baby Jesus!"
Me - "........."
Stupid Customer - "ARGHHHHH oh Mary mother of Joseph, ARGHHHHH!"... *CLICK*
O____O
Stupid Customer - "I'm trying to get to your office in *complete different, wrong location*. I'm lost, can you help me get there?"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, that' not one of our offices. Were you after Health Insurance Inc?"
Stupid Customer - "No. I need *competitor of ours*"
Me - "Oh ok, yeah, that's a different company, I'm sure if you give them a call they will be able to help you with directions"
Stupid Customer - "*SIGH* So you can't help me then?"
Me - "I'm afraid not ma'am, you've called the wrong company"
Stupid Customer - "Oh. My. GOD!!!!"
Me - "........."
Stupid Customer - "Holy CR*P!"
Me - "........"
Stupid Customer - "WOAH!"
Me - "O...kay. So was there anything else I could do for you today ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "ARGHHHHHHHH!"
Me - "........."
Stupid Customer - "Oh sweet baby Jesus!"
Me - "........."
Stupid Customer - "ARGHHHHH oh Mary mother of Joseph, ARGHHHHH!"... *CLICK*
O____O
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer, yelling - "What haven't you paid my claim yet?!"
*I bring up the policy, have a look, and voila...*
Me - "Thanks for waiting there sir. Okay, so I can see that this claim was actually processed a few days ago, we sent the money to the bank account we had on file for you but it was returned with a message stating that the bank account was closed. So we sent you a cheque in place of that, and that was mailed yesterday you I imagine you should receive that in the next day or two sir"
Stupid Customer - "What! I have a new bank account!"
Me - "Yes, it would appear so sir, would you like me to..."
*talks over me*
Stupid Customer - "So why the hell did you send the payment to my old bank account? Are you people stupid or something?!"
*I read through the notes...*
Me - "Okay sir, well I mean, there are no notes here indicating that you contacted us to update your bank account details, so..."
*talks over me again*
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, I know I didn't let you people know!"
Me - "......."
Stupid Customer - "So how come you paid to the wrong account, huh?"
Me - "Ah...well sir, if you don't let us know that an account has been closed and provide us with the new bank account details, we have no way of knowing that this has taken place..."
Stupid Customer - "Bullsh*t! You people shouldv'e known!"
Me - "Okay. I'm sorry sir, how would we have known this?"
Stupid Customer - "You just shouldv'e known!"
Me - "Okay sir, well you did not notify us, therefore we did not know. Now, that cheque, as mentioned, should reach you in the next few days. So this doesn't happen again, did you want me to update your bank details now for you?"
Stupid Customer - "No! You shoudlv'e known, and now I have to wait to receive this bloody cheque, then i have to waste my time banking it! You people are idiots!"... *CLICK*
Yeah. He didn't update his details.
So next time he makes a claim, the same thing will happen again.
I left a note saying I asked for the details and he hung up on me after ranting for a lil' bit, so my butt is covered.
Can't wait till he calls in the next time this happens though....
"Okay sir, well I can see that you refused to provide your new bank details last time you called, and since then we still have not mastered our telepathic skills, so once again, you'll get your cheque in a few days time, thanks for calling!"
Moron.
Stupid Customer, yelling - "What haven't you paid my claim yet?!"
*I bring up the policy, have a look, and voila...*
Me - "Thanks for waiting there sir. Okay, so I can see that this claim was actually processed a few days ago, we sent the money to the bank account we had on file for you but it was returned with a message stating that the bank account was closed. So we sent you a cheque in place of that, and that was mailed yesterday you I imagine you should receive that in the next day or two sir"
Stupid Customer - "What! I have a new bank account!"
Me - "Yes, it would appear so sir, would you like me to..."
*talks over me*
Stupid Customer - "So why the hell did you send the payment to my old bank account? Are you people stupid or something?!"
*I read through the notes...*
Me - "Okay sir, well I mean, there are no notes here indicating that you contacted us to update your bank account details, so..."
*talks over me again*
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, I know I didn't let you people know!"
Me - "......."
Stupid Customer - "So how come you paid to the wrong account, huh?"
Me - "Ah...well sir, if you don't let us know that an account has been closed and provide us with the new bank account details, we have no way of knowing that this has taken place..."
Stupid Customer - "Bullsh*t! You people shouldv'e known!"
Me - "Okay. I'm sorry sir, how would we have known this?"
Stupid Customer - "You just shouldv'e known!"
Me - "Okay sir, well you did not notify us, therefore we did not know. Now, that cheque, as mentioned, should reach you in the next few days. So this doesn't happen again, did you want me to update your bank details now for you?"
Stupid Customer - "No! You shoudlv'e known, and now I have to wait to receive this bloody cheque, then i have to waste my time banking it! You people are idiots!"... *CLICK*
Yeah. He didn't update his details.
So next time he makes a claim, the same thing will happen again.
I left a note saying I asked for the details and he hung up on me after ranting for a lil' bit, so my butt is covered.
Can't wait till he calls in the next time this happens though....
"Okay sir, well I can see that you refused to provide your new bank details last time you called, and since then we still have not mastered our telepathic skills, so once again, you'll get your cheque in a few days time, thanks for calling!"
Moron.
[Wow, when I go sooo long without posting - thank you very much, stupid internet crashing on me! - it is scary just how many posts I have to catch up on...makes me realise just how many complete dumba*s customers I speak to on an almost daily basis O___O ]
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Where abouts are your offices?"
*I direct her to the website, where she can go through the *many* office locations we have all over the country*
Stupid Customer - "Hmmm, no, no, this wont do. None of them are anywhere near me. I live in a remote location"
Me - "Oh okay, well I can answer any queries you may have over the phone now if you like, and I give you some mailign details if you need to send anything through?"
Stupid Customer - *she starts giving me an address*
Me - "Uh, ma'am? Hi....what was the address that you're giving me for?"
Stupid Customer, in a tone as if to say 'well DER' - "*SIGH* it's my address! And can you make sure someone comes here between 3 and 4pm tomorrow, the rest of the day i'm busy with my shopping and then I like to take a nap afterwards"
Me - "Uh...okay. I'm sorry ma'am, the fund doesn't actually make house visits, in any situation..."
Stupid Customer - "WHAT! Well, I'll have you know that I am outraged and disgusted by this! Does your company not CARE about it's customers then? is that what this is? You just don't care!"
Me - "No ma'am, we do of course care about our customers, however house visits are simply not a service offered by our fund"
Stupid Customer - "Well! I've been a member for more than 5 years, and I'll have you know that I'll be taking my business elsehwere after this! I'll go somewhere where they CARE about their customers!"
Me - "Okay ma'am, well to cancel your policy we do need that request in writing. If you have a pen and paper handy I can give you the mailing address you will need for that. Also, if you like, I can put a stop of your payments here in the meantime, to make the cancellation process a bit quicker for you?"
Stupid Customer, now stumbling over her words - "Huh? No...no...don't touch my payments, um....no.....I will, just...ummm....maybe, have a ..look...later...but don't cancel anything!".... *CLICK*
Okay, so here is the deal.
I understand that sometimes if we cant do something for you, you are not going to be happy.
That is normal, and completely understandable.
And if you are being nice and normal and resonable, I have no qualms with you expressing how upset you are etc. All good and to be expected.
HOWEVER.
These days, as soon as people start on with the whole 'OHH I am going to CANCEL, what do you think about that?!"
What do I think about that?
Okay. Well, hand me your things, I will help you pack faster and will also show you the door.
I no longer have time for people who think that by threatenng me with their business, I am going to bend over for me.
Nope. Not gonna happen, folks
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Where abouts are your offices?"
*I direct her to the website, where she can go through the *many* office locations we have all over the country*
Stupid Customer - "Hmmm, no, no, this wont do. None of them are anywhere near me. I live in a remote location"
Me - "Oh okay, well I can answer any queries you may have over the phone now if you like, and I give you some mailign details if you need to send anything through?"
Stupid Customer - *she starts giving me an address*
Me - "Uh, ma'am? Hi....what was the address that you're giving me for?"
Stupid Customer, in a tone as if to say 'well DER' - "*SIGH* it's my address! And can you make sure someone comes here between 3 and 4pm tomorrow, the rest of the day i'm busy with my shopping and then I like to take a nap afterwards"
Me - "Uh...okay. I'm sorry ma'am, the fund doesn't actually make house visits, in any situation..."
Stupid Customer - "WHAT! Well, I'll have you know that I am outraged and disgusted by this! Does your company not CARE about it's customers then? is that what this is? You just don't care!"
Me - "No ma'am, we do of course care about our customers, however house visits are simply not a service offered by our fund"
Stupid Customer - "Well! I've been a member for more than 5 years, and I'll have you know that I'll be taking my business elsehwere after this! I'll go somewhere where they CARE about their customers!"
Me - "Okay ma'am, well to cancel your policy we do need that request in writing. If you have a pen and paper handy I can give you the mailing address you will need for that. Also, if you like, I can put a stop of your payments here in the meantime, to make the cancellation process a bit quicker for you?"
Stupid Customer, now stumbling over her words - "Huh? No...no...don't touch my payments, um....no.....I will, just...ummm....maybe, have a ..look...later...but don't cancel anything!".... *CLICK*
Okay, so here is the deal.
I understand that sometimes if we cant do something for you, you are not going to be happy.
That is normal, and completely understandable.
And if you are being nice and normal and resonable, I have no qualms with you expressing how upset you are etc. All good and to be expected.
HOWEVER.
These days, as soon as people start on with the whole 'OHH I am going to CANCEL, what do you think about that?!"
What do I think about that?
Okay. Well, hand me your things, I will help you pack faster and will also show you the door.
I no longer have time for people who think that by threatenng me with their business, I am going to bend over for me.
Nope. Not gonna happen, folks
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Hi! I'm calling to make a dental claim, please"
Me - "Sure ma'am, what was your memebrship number?"
Stupid Customer - "Membership number? Uh, I don't think I have one of those..."
Me - "That's okay, I'll jut bring up your policy using your name, if I could pleease start with your surname?"
Stupid Customer - "Policy? Uh, I don't one of those either..."
Me - "Uh..."
Stupid Customer - "I just went to the dentist last week and spent about $3000 on some work I got done there, and I googled this on the net and it said I could claim on dental and to just call this number here, so I just want to claim, that's all..."
Me - "O....kay then. So are you a member of the health fund, ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "The website didn't say anything about having to be a member"
Me - "Okay. Well, to be able to claim on a service, you do have to be a member of the health fund. And you will have had to serve your waiting periods as well. In this case, if it was major dental work you got done, that has a 12 month wait"
Stupid Customer - "Oh no, that's ok, I don't want to wait 12 mths, I'm just going to claim it now thanks"
Me - "Er, no, sorry ma'am, what I'm saying is that you would need to firstly join the health fund, and you can then only claim on major dental services that take place 12 months AFTER you have joined"
Stupid Customer - "But I went to the dentist last week"
Me - "Right. You aren't able to claim on this ma'am"
Stupid Customer - "What! But your website says I can!"
Me - "I'm on the site right now ma'am, it says on the home page you can claim on eigible services after you have joined and served your waiting periods"
Stupid Customer - "It doesn't say that anywjere!"
Me - "It says it in clear black block letters, and is right in front of you when you go to the website, it's actually all you can really see when you open it up"
Stupid Customer - "Whatever. So I just want to do my claim now please"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, as advised, you cannot claim on this dental visit"
Stupid Customer - "This is stupid! You're such a rip-off!"... *CLICK*
Stupid Customer - "Hi! I'm calling to make a dental claim, please"
Me - "Sure ma'am, what was your memebrship number?"
Stupid Customer - "Membership number? Uh, I don't think I have one of those..."
Me - "That's okay, I'll jut bring up your policy using your name, if I could pleease start with your surname?"
Stupid Customer - "Policy? Uh, I don't one of those either..."
Me - "Uh..."
Stupid Customer - "I just went to the dentist last week and spent about $3000 on some work I got done there, and I googled this on the net and it said I could claim on dental and to just call this number here, so I just want to claim, that's all..."
Me - "O....kay then. So are you a member of the health fund, ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "The website didn't say anything about having to be a member"
Me - "Okay. Well, to be able to claim on a service, you do have to be a member of the health fund. And you will have had to serve your waiting periods as well. In this case, if it was major dental work you got done, that has a 12 month wait"
Stupid Customer - "Oh no, that's ok, I don't want to wait 12 mths, I'm just going to claim it now thanks"
Me - "Er, no, sorry ma'am, what I'm saying is that you would need to firstly join the health fund, and you can then only claim on major dental services that take place 12 months AFTER you have joined"
Stupid Customer - "But I went to the dentist last week"
Me - "Right. You aren't able to claim on this ma'am"
Stupid Customer - "What! But your website says I can!"
Me - "I'm on the site right now ma'am, it says on the home page you can claim on eigible services after you have joined and served your waiting periods"
Stupid Customer - "It doesn't say that anywjere!"
Me - "It says it in clear black block letters, and is right in front of you when you go to the website, it's actually all you can really see when you open it up"
Stupid Customer - "Whatever. So I just want to do my claim now please"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, as advised, you cannot claim on this dental visit"
Stupid Customer - "This is stupid! You're such a rip-off!"... *CLICK*
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer, yelling - "I've had to call in over and OVER for this sh*t, it's f*ckig ridiculous and I'm taking you idiots to f*cking court and to the media! EVERY single f*cking time I try and make a claim, you f*cks knock me back. So what the f*ck am I paying all this f*cking money for each month, huh? Cause you f*cks aren't givin' me nothin' back, so what the f*ck am I paying for, huh?"
Me - "Okay sir, what was your membership number and I'll take a loook for..."
*talks over me*
Stupid Customer - "NO, no I 'm not giving you my f*cking membership number, or my name, or my f*cking date of birth, or my address, or my phone number...I'm wearing red underwear, you wanna know that too, huh? HUH! Well f*ck you, I'm not telling you anything, you can go suck my d*ck! I'm gonna sue every single one of you f*cks for everything you got, I'm sick to f*cking death of not getting paid for anything!"
Me - "Okay sir, if I can just bring up your membership I'll be able to take a look for you..."
Stupid Customer - "F*ck you! I'm not giving you anything you b*tch, I'm just going to sue the f*ck out of you, and hey, when I go to the media, you're going to be out of a f*cking job so quick you wont know what the f*ck hit you!...*CLICK*
*clapping*
Good job, f*ckface.
Boy, you really showed me!
I can't action ANYTHING without knowing who the f*ck you are, or what's happened with your policy.
All you did just then was make sure that I got paid for several minutes of doing absolutely nothing. Didn't have to lift a finger.
Thanks buddy ;)
Stupid Customer, yelling - "I've had to call in over and OVER for this sh*t, it's f*ckig ridiculous and I'm taking you idiots to f*cking court and to the media! EVERY single f*cking time I try and make a claim, you f*cks knock me back. So what the f*ck am I paying all this f*cking money for each month, huh? Cause you f*cks aren't givin' me nothin' back, so what the f*ck am I paying for, huh?"
Me - "Okay sir, what was your membership number and I'll take a loook for..."
*talks over me*
Stupid Customer - "NO, no I 'm not giving you my f*cking membership number, or my name, or my f*cking date of birth, or my address, or my phone number...I'm wearing red underwear, you wanna know that too, huh? HUH! Well f*ck you, I'm not telling you anything, you can go suck my d*ck! I'm gonna sue every single one of you f*cks for everything you got, I'm sick to f*cking death of not getting paid for anything!"
Me - "Okay sir, if I can just bring up your membership I'll be able to take a look for you..."
Stupid Customer - "F*ck you! I'm not giving you anything you b*tch, I'm just going to sue the f*ck out of you, and hey, when I go to the media, you're going to be out of a f*cking job so quick you wont know what the f*ck hit you!...*CLICK*
*clapping*
Good job, f*ckface.
Boy, you really showed me!
I can't action ANYTHING without knowing who the f*ck you are, or what's happened with your policy.
All you did just then was make sure that I got paid for several minutes of doing absolutely nothing. Didn't have to lift a finger.
Thanks buddy ;)
Friday, 2 December 2011
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "My con-poo-ta told me I'm not allowed to print out my forms and I gotta call you"
Me - "Okay sir...so, this was a form from our website was it?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, I had to go to hospital a few weeks ago in one of those car thigns with the sirens, 'cause I was in the yard tryin' to mow the lawn and then before I knew what had happened I was kinda like inside the lawn mower or something, like my legs were gone and then there was blood and s*it, so I was yellin' for me missus to come help but then I remembered she left me like 2 years ago, so then I was just yellin' and hollering cause you know, my legs were being eaten by the machine and all, and then a neighbour friend of mine, she yelled out that she could see me and was calling that car with the lights and then they came and took me there me to their premises to work on me which was good because I'd been eaten alive and was dead by that point. And now I gotta print out the form here for that car road trip and the con-poo-ta told me I'm not allowed, so now I'm callin' you to see if you can unblock me"
Me, mouth agape - "O...kay sir. So I take it you need to print out a claim form for an ambulance trip that was required after a recent incident with a lawn mower. Is that correct?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah! Yeah that be right"
Me - "Right. Okay sir, well usually we don't 'ban' our customers from being able to print out forms. Could you please read to me the error message you have on your screen there?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, for sure. Okay, you ready? Yeah. Okay, so it says here at the top that 'print job not allowed'. No, like, I just need you to allow me,okay?"
Me - "Ah, no, no I don't believe we're blocking you sir. Does it say anything else?"
Stupid Customer - "Nah. Just that. Look, can you just unblock it cause I gotta take a pi*s and the longer you make me wait the more chance there is I just gonna pi*s all over myself"
Me - "Okay. Well this sounds like an issue on your end with the computer sir...if it doesn't say anything else you may need to contact the technical support for your..."
*talks over me*
Stupid Customer - "I dunno if this has anything to do with it or what, it's probably not important, but the con-poo-ta says below that that the printer is out of paper, and I need to refill it. Should I do that? Cause, like, I dont wanna break the con-poo-ta"
Me, banging my head on my desk - "Yes sir, I believe that refilling the paper in your printer will solve everything for you, and you will be able to print your form"
Stupid Customer - "So you unblocked it right?"
Me - ".......ah, yes, yes I've unblocked it on my end. Now all you need to do to complete the process is put more paper in the printer. Then you can print the form"
Stupid Customer - "Hey thanks heaps lady! I'm gonna go get this paper situation sorted out, then I'm gonna go take a pi*s, thanks!" ... *CLICK*
Stupid Customer - "My con-poo-ta told me I'm not allowed to print out my forms and I gotta call you"
Me - "Okay sir...so, this was a form from our website was it?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, I had to go to hospital a few weeks ago in one of those car thigns with the sirens, 'cause I was in the yard tryin' to mow the lawn and then before I knew what had happened I was kinda like inside the lawn mower or something, like my legs were gone and then there was blood and s*it, so I was yellin' for me missus to come help but then I remembered she left me like 2 years ago, so then I was just yellin' and hollering cause you know, my legs were being eaten by the machine and all, and then a neighbour friend of mine, she yelled out that she could see me and was calling that car with the lights and then they came and took me there me to their premises to work on me which was good because I'd been eaten alive and was dead by that point. And now I gotta print out the form here for that car road trip and the con-poo-ta told me I'm not allowed, so now I'm callin' you to see if you can unblock me"
Me, mouth agape - "O...kay sir. So I take it you need to print out a claim form for an ambulance trip that was required after a recent incident with a lawn mower. Is that correct?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah! Yeah that be right"
Me - "Right. Okay sir, well usually we don't 'ban' our customers from being able to print out forms. Could you please read to me the error message you have on your screen there?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, for sure. Okay, you ready? Yeah. Okay, so it says here at the top that 'print job not allowed'. No, like, I just need you to allow me,okay?"
Me - "Ah, no, no I don't believe we're blocking you sir. Does it say anything else?"
Stupid Customer - "Nah. Just that. Look, can you just unblock it cause I gotta take a pi*s and the longer you make me wait the more chance there is I just gonna pi*s all over myself"
Me - "Okay. Well this sounds like an issue on your end with the computer sir...if it doesn't say anything else you may need to contact the technical support for your..."
*talks over me*
Stupid Customer - "I dunno if this has anything to do with it or what, it's probably not important, but the con-poo-ta says below that that the printer is out of paper, and I need to refill it. Should I do that? Cause, like, I dont wanna break the con-poo-ta"
Me, banging my head on my desk - "Yes sir, I believe that refilling the paper in your printer will solve everything for you, and you will be able to print your form"
Stupid Customer - "So you unblocked it right?"
Me - ".......ah, yes, yes I've unblocked it on my end. Now all you need to do to complete the process is put more paper in the printer. Then you can print the form"
Stupid Customer - "Hey thanks heaps lady! I'm gonna go get this paper situation sorted out, then I'm gonna go take a pi*s, thanks!" ... *CLICK*
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
I was making an outbound call to a new customer. He had submitted a paper application with us, and he indicated he was moving to us from a different fund. He hadn't put down the details of his previosu fund and we do require that, it affects what they can claim on etc. So I called him to get this info and this is the convo that just occurred...
Me - "Hi, this is *me* calling from Health Insurance Inc, was I speaking with *customer*?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes, speaking, how can I help you?"
Me - "I was just calling to confirm a few details from the application you recently submitted to us. It says here you came from a previous fund, but it looks like you overlooked filling in that section. Is it ok if I grab a few of those details so I can get your appliaction through for your sir?"
Stupid Customer - "Sure, shoot"
Me - "Thanks sir. So firstly, what was the name of the fund you can from?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh, I just had it all filed under 'my health cover'. I dodn;t give it an official name or anything"
Me - "Oh, okay. And what was the name of the health insurance company you are coming across from?"
Stupid Customer - "Nar, I dont run a business or anything, it was just my personal insurance"
Me, trying a different tact - "Okay. What was the name or type of the policy you had?"
[policy names are unique, I can use that to ID which fund it was]
Stupid Customer - "Just a single one"
Me - "Right. but what was the name or type of cover you had? The policy would have had an official name?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, I told ya. 'My health cover'."
Me - "Okay. Well, do you know how much you paid each month?"
Stupid Custoemr - "Nar"
Me - "Okay sir. So to confirm, you can't actually tell you the name of the company you held insurance with or the name of the policy you had?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, yeah I already told ya. I filed it under 'my health cover', and I'm just a normal worker, I don't own no business or nothin'"
Me - "Okay sir. Well, thanks for your time, you have a great day now"
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
I have concerns about how he manages to get through each day O___O
Me - "Hi, this is *me* calling from Health Insurance Inc, was I speaking with *customer*?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes, speaking, how can I help you?"
Me - "I was just calling to confirm a few details from the application you recently submitted to us. It says here you came from a previous fund, but it looks like you overlooked filling in that section. Is it ok if I grab a few of those details so I can get your appliaction through for your sir?"
Stupid Customer - "Sure, shoot"
Me - "Thanks sir. So firstly, what was the name of the fund you can from?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh, I just had it all filed under 'my health cover'. I dodn;t give it an official name or anything"
Me - "Oh, okay. And what was the name of the health insurance company you are coming across from?"
Stupid Customer - "Nar, I dont run a business or anything, it was just my personal insurance"
Me, trying a different tact - "Okay. What was the name or type of the policy you had?"
[policy names are unique, I can use that to ID which fund it was]
Stupid Customer - "Just a single one"
Me - "Right. but what was the name or type of cover you had? The policy would have had an official name?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, I told ya. 'My health cover'."
Me - "Okay. Well, do you know how much you paid each month?"
Stupid Custoemr - "Nar"
Me - "Okay sir. So to confirm, you can't actually tell you the name of the company you held insurance with or the name of the policy you had?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, yeah I already told ya. I filed it under 'my health cover', and I'm just a normal worker, I don't own no business or nothin'"
Me - "Okay sir. Well, thanks for your time, you have a great day now"
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
I have concerns about how he manages to get through each day O___O
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, I got a letter saying you weren't paying on my claims for glasses?"
*I bring up the policy, have a look at the claim...*
Me - "Thanks for waiting ma'am. Okay, so I can see that we advised on your letter there that you have already claimed back your maximum 2 pairs of glasses for this calander year, so you have reached your limit. You will be able to claim again though from 1 Janurary"
Stupid Customer, suddenly psycho - "NO! What the f*ck do you mean my limit has been reached?! I don't HAVE a limit!"
Me - "Er, yes, yes you do ma'am. As per all of the documentation we send you, and the nformation through the website and advertising, you are capped at claiming two pairs of glasses per calander year"
Stupid Customer - "You know what, you're going to be sorry for this!"... *CLICK*
A few minutes pass, and then I get another call...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "My wife called in a few minutes ago and some b*tch called her a dog and lied about her having some stupid limit on her glasses?"
*I bring up the details he provides...yep...it's her husband*
Me - "Okay sir. Well it was actually myself your wife spoke with. I certainly did not call her any names, and yes, it is correct that she has a yearly limit on glasses":
Stupid Customer - "No, she told me you called her a dog! I want to speak to a manager!"
*I can hear her in the background screaming at him to 'get her, get her!*
Me - "Certainly sir, I can pass the call through to have a manager listen to what was said and then call you back with the outcome"
*He relays this to his wife in the background...she starts screaming again, only this time...*
Stupid Customer - "Yeah....nar she said she isn't going to waste her time with that kind of rubbish, she is an important person and has better things to do than this!"...*CLICK*
Never fails to put them in their place, reminding them that all calls are recorded...
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, I got a letter saying you weren't paying on my claims for glasses?"
*I bring up the policy, have a look at the claim...*
Me - "Thanks for waiting ma'am. Okay, so I can see that we advised on your letter there that you have already claimed back your maximum 2 pairs of glasses for this calander year, so you have reached your limit. You will be able to claim again though from 1 Janurary"
Stupid Customer, suddenly psycho - "NO! What the f*ck do you mean my limit has been reached?! I don't HAVE a limit!"
Me - "Er, yes, yes you do ma'am. As per all of the documentation we send you, and the nformation through the website and advertising, you are capped at claiming two pairs of glasses per calander year"
Stupid Customer - "You know what, you're going to be sorry for this!"... *CLICK*
A few minutes pass, and then I get another call...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "My wife called in a few minutes ago and some b*tch called her a dog and lied about her having some stupid limit on her glasses?"
*I bring up the details he provides...yep...it's her husband*
Me - "Okay sir. Well it was actually myself your wife spoke with. I certainly did not call her any names, and yes, it is correct that she has a yearly limit on glasses":
Stupid Customer - "No, she told me you called her a dog! I want to speak to a manager!"
*I can hear her in the background screaming at him to 'get her, get her!*
Me - "Certainly sir, I can pass the call through to have a manager listen to what was said and then call you back with the outcome"
*He relays this to his wife in the background...she starts screaming again, only this time...*
Stupid Customer - "Yeah....nar she said she isn't going to waste her time with that kind of rubbish, she is an important person and has better things to do than this!"...*CLICK*
Never fails to put them in their place, reminding them that all calls are recorded...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Ahhh, yes. Yes. I'm calling with an enquiry"
Me - "Okay ma'am, what was your enquriy today?"
Stuipd Customer - "................."
Me - "Hello? Ma'am? Are you there?"
Stupid Customer - ""Don't yell at me!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, I don't believe my voice was raised at all. how could I help you today?"
Stupid Customer - 'I told you! I have an enquiry!"
Me - "Yes ma'am, and what was your enquiry?
Stupid Customer - "...................."
Me, in a deliberately quieter voice - "Ma'am, are you still there? What was your enquiry today?"
Stupid Customer - "Why do you keep asking me that!"
Me - "I'm sorry, I don't quite understand. Did you have an enquiry for me today?"
Stupid Customer - "YES! How many times do I have to say it!"
Me - "Okay. But what was your enquiry?"
Stupid Customer - "I don't get what you mean! Stop repeating that! I have an enquiry!"
Me - "Okay ma'am, and I just need for you to tell me what your enquiry actually was to be able to assist you"
Stupid Customer - "How should I know that? That's your job!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "Are you deaf? The telephone said to press '2' if I had an enquiry!"
Me - "Okay....."
Stupid Customer - "What is an enquiry anyway?"
Me - "Um....pardon ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh you're just an idiot! You don't know anything, I'm not wasting my time with you"... *CLICK*
Stupid Customer - "Ahhh, yes. Yes. I'm calling with an enquiry"
Me - "Okay ma'am, what was your enquriy today?"
Stuipd Customer - "................."
Me - "Hello? Ma'am? Are you there?"
Stupid Customer - ""Don't yell at me!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, I don't believe my voice was raised at all. how could I help you today?"
Stupid Customer - 'I told you! I have an enquiry!"
Me - "Yes ma'am, and what was your enquiry?
Stupid Customer - "...................."
Me, in a deliberately quieter voice - "Ma'am, are you still there? What was your enquiry today?"
Stupid Customer - "Why do you keep asking me that!"
Me - "I'm sorry, I don't quite understand. Did you have an enquiry for me today?"
Stupid Customer - "YES! How many times do I have to say it!"
Me - "Okay. But what was your enquiry?"
Stupid Customer - "I don't get what you mean! Stop repeating that! I have an enquiry!"
Me - "Okay ma'am, and I just need for you to tell me what your enquiry actually was to be able to assist you"
Stupid Customer - "How should I know that? That's your job!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "Are you deaf? The telephone said to press '2' if I had an enquiry!"
Me - "Okay....."
Stupid Customer - "What is an enquiry anyway?"
Me - "Um....pardon ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh you're just an idiot! You don't know anything, I'm not wasting my time with you"... *CLICK*
Friday, 25 November 2011
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Well first let me tell you that I'm not happy, okay? I hope you're ready because you're about to be abused like you've never been abused before, I'm going to tear you a new a*shole, okay?"
Me - "Right, so what can I do for you today sir?"
Stupid Customer - "I've had to call you people about 15 times in the past two days to get a claim paid, and here I am again, wasting my time calling you people, and I tell you what, I've had enough, okay? It's beyond a joke now and I'm about to make sure this is the worst call you've ever had"
Me - 'Okay, what was your membership nubmer?"
*I bring up his policy and read through alllllll the notes*
Me - "Okay sir, so I can see here that you've called a fair few times about a dental claim, and ..."
*interrupts me*
Stupid Customer - "A few times? A few times?1 I've had to call you f*ckwits almost 20 times in just 2 days! So you've got my file there, what does it say?"
Me - "Yes sir, I've got your details here. The notes state that the claim had been delayed initially as we were waiting on further information on the dentist so we could properly process your claim, and that we received that information yesterday afternoon and that the claim should now be processed and the money in your account within 3 working days. Well sir, I mean, that was yesterday...it has not been 3 working days yet...so how could I help with this for you today?"
Stupid Customer - "How can you help me? Is that what you said? Huh? How can you HELP me?"
Me - "Yes, thats what I said sir"
Stupid Customer - "Well you can help me by getting off your a*s and paying my claim, that's how you can f*cking help me!"
Me - "Okay, well as mentioned the claim is being processed and the money should be in your bank account within now 2 working days"
Stupid Customer - "Well that's just not good enough! I demand that you give my money TODAY!"
Me - "Okay, well I'm sorry sir but that wont be possible..."
*interrupts me again*
Stupid Customer - "No no no no no, NO, no don't you start telling me this and that isn't 'possible', I know that all you gotta do is hit a few buttons on your end and I'll have my money right away. So I don't care who you gotta go speak to, but you go make it happen love, go do it right now"
Me - "Yeah, no I'm sorry sir but you've already been told the facts of the situation. To further explain, once we have processeda claim, we send a request to the bank you have on file with us and ask that they deposit the rebate amount into your bank account. I can see that we have sent that request today and so you are now just waiting for your own bank to release the funds into your account, and that process generally takes 2 working days"
Stupid Customer - "I don't care about any of your excuses, I've already told you how it's going to be so shut your mouth and go put my money into my account, I've already waited long enough for this claim to go through, you people really are f*cking hopeless, you know that right? You have a s*it job and you work for a s*hit company, I don;t know how you sleep at night"
Me - "I'm really sorry that you aren't able to understand what you're being told sir but I've already explained the facts fo the situation, and I can see form the notes that every other person you have called today has told you the exact same thing, calling us over and over wont change anything..."
*talks over me*
Stupid Customer - "Hey hey hey hey how you listen to make young lady, I'm not sure what's wrong with me but I've told you how it's going to be so like I told you before, shut your mouth and give me my money, you work for ME so go do what you're told like a good little girl, I'm done waiting for you people"
Me - "Well sir, I mean, the reason for the delay in the first place was that you sent us an incomplete receipt, so we had to wait on your own dentist to send us the missing information so we could proceed, i can see fomr the notes here that you refunsed to get that missing information yourself so we had to chase YOUR dentist, and that's the reason for the delay, so we've actually been waiting on you, not the other way around"
Stupid Customer - "Look I've already told you, I'm not interested in your excuses, shut your mouth and get me my money!"
Me - "They're not excuses sir, I'm simply stating the facts if the situation, unfortunately if you refuse to accept these facts then that is not really our problem and there is nothing more we can do for you"
Stupid Customer - "Excuse me! I'M the customer here, you work for me! I think it's time I had a little chat to your manager missy, you can't talk to a customer like this and get away with it! I hope you have alot of cash saved up because you're about to lost your job, you rude b*tch!"
*Yeaaaaaah. Every single manager here would have spoken 10 times worse to this guy...if someone abuses us then we have every right to defend ourselves and stand up for ourselves*
Me - "Okay sir, I'll pass your details through to a manager and get them to call you back to discuss your concerns"
Stupid Customer - "No you won't, you'll put me through to a manager right now!"
Me - "Sorry sir, management will want to listen to all of these calls prior to calling you back, you've been rude and abusive and they don't like that"
Stupid Customer, laughing - "Oh yeah? Whadda they gonna do, huh?"
Me - "Close your policy with us, sir"
Stupid Customer - "They can't do that!"
Me - "Actually sir, they can, I suggest you read through your terms and conditions, they are located in the policy information we send you twice a year, and also on our website"
Stupid Customer - "Whatever! So anyway, stop trying to change the subject - where's my money? I'm waiting!"
Me - "I've already told you numerous times sir that your money will be in your account in 2 working days, now I'm sorry but I have other customers waiting to get through so i will have to attend to their calls as this conversation is going no-where"
Stupid Customer - "Like hell you will!"
Me - *CLICK*
So, I mean, was I out of line in what I said and the way I spoke to him?
I know I was direct, but we have always been told here that if some moron speak to you like that, then you have every right to talk back
And I know that there are alot of people here who would have said worse things.
I think he deserved all he got and I hope his policy will get closed, which I am confident it will
Stupid Customer - "Well first let me tell you that I'm not happy, okay? I hope you're ready because you're about to be abused like you've never been abused before, I'm going to tear you a new a*shole, okay?"
Me - "Right, so what can I do for you today sir?"
Stupid Customer - "I've had to call you people about 15 times in the past two days to get a claim paid, and here I am again, wasting my time calling you people, and I tell you what, I've had enough, okay? It's beyond a joke now and I'm about to make sure this is the worst call you've ever had"
Me - 'Okay, what was your membership nubmer?"
*I bring up his policy and read through alllllll the notes*
Me - "Okay sir, so I can see here that you've called a fair few times about a dental claim, and ..."
*interrupts me*
Stupid Customer - "A few times? A few times?1 I've had to call you f*ckwits almost 20 times in just 2 days! So you've got my file there, what does it say?"
Me - "Yes sir, I've got your details here. The notes state that the claim had been delayed initially as we were waiting on further information on the dentist so we could properly process your claim, and that we received that information yesterday afternoon and that the claim should now be processed and the money in your account within 3 working days. Well sir, I mean, that was yesterday...it has not been 3 working days yet...so how could I help with this for you today?"
Stupid Customer - "How can you help me? Is that what you said? Huh? How can you HELP me?"
Me - "Yes, thats what I said sir"
Stupid Customer - "Well you can help me by getting off your a*s and paying my claim, that's how you can f*cking help me!"
Me - "Okay, well as mentioned the claim is being processed and the money should be in your bank account within now 2 working days"
Stupid Customer - "Well that's just not good enough! I demand that you give my money TODAY!"
Me - "Okay, well I'm sorry sir but that wont be possible..."
*interrupts me again*
Stupid Customer - "No no no no no, NO, no don't you start telling me this and that isn't 'possible', I know that all you gotta do is hit a few buttons on your end and I'll have my money right away. So I don't care who you gotta go speak to, but you go make it happen love, go do it right now"
Me - "Yeah, no I'm sorry sir but you've already been told the facts of the situation. To further explain, once we have processeda claim, we send a request to the bank you have on file with us and ask that they deposit the rebate amount into your bank account. I can see that we have sent that request today and so you are now just waiting for your own bank to release the funds into your account, and that process generally takes 2 working days"
Stupid Customer - "I don't care about any of your excuses, I've already told you how it's going to be so shut your mouth and go put my money into my account, I've already waited long enough for this claim to go through, you people really are f*cking hopeless, you know that right? You have a s*it job and you work for a s*hit company, I don;t know how you sleep at night"
Me - "I'm really sorry that you aren't able to understand what you're being told sir but I've already explained the facts fo the situation, and I can see form the notes that every other person you have called today has told you the exact same thing, calling us over and over wont change anything..."
*talks over me*
Stupid Customer - "Hey hey hey hey how you listen to make young lady, I'm not sure what's wrong with me but I've told you how it's going to be so like I told you before, shut your mouth and give me my money, you work for ME so go do what you're told like a good little girl, I'm done waiting for you people"
Me - "Well sir, I mean, the reason for the delay in the first place was that you sent us an incomplete receipt, so we had to wait on your own dentist to send us the missing information so we could proceed, i can see fomr the notes here that you refunsed to get that missing information yourself so we had to chase YOUR dentist, and that's the reason for the delay, so we've actually been waiting on you, not the other way around"
Stupid Customer - "Look I've already told you, I'm not interested in your excuses, shut your mouth and get me my money!"
Me - "They're not excuses sir, I'm simply stating the facts if the situation, unfortunately if you refuse to accept these facts then that is not really our problem and there is nothing more we can do for you"
Stupid Customer - "Excuse me! I'M the customer here, you work for me! I think it's time I had a little chat to your manager missy, you can't talk to a customer like this and get away with it! I hope you have alot of cash saved up because you're about to lost your job, you rude b*tch!"
*Yeaaaaaah. Every single manager here would have spoken 10 times worse to this guy...if someone abuses us then we have every right to defend ourselves and stand up for ourselves*
Me - "Okay sir, I'll pass your details through to a manager and get them to call you back to discuss your concerns"
Stupid Customer - "No you won't, you'll put me through to a manager right now!"
Me - "Sorry sir, management will want to listen to all of these calls prior to calling you back, you've been rude and abusive and they don't like that"
Stupid Customer, laughing - "Oh yeah? Whadda they gonna do, huh?"
Me - "Close your policy with us, sir"
Stupid Customer - "They can't do that!"
Me - "Actually sir, they can, I suggest you read through your terms and conditions, they are located in the policy information we send you twice a year, and also on our website"
Stupid Customer - "Whatever! So anyway, stop trying to change the subject - where's my money? I'm waiting!"
Me - "I've already told you numerous times sir that your money will be in your account in 2 working days, now I'm sorry but I have other customers waiting to get through so i will have to attend to their calls as this conversation is going no-where"
Stupid Customer - "Like hell you will!"
Me - *CLICK*
So, I mean, was I out of line in what I said and the way I spoke to him?
I know I was direct, but we have always been told here that if some moron speak to you like that, then you have every right to talk back
And I know that there are alot of people here who would have said worse things.
I think he deserved all he got and I hope his policy will get closed, which I am confident it will
Thursday, 24 November 2011
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes, hi, I just had a question about my policy?"
Me - "Sure, I'll just bring that up and have a look. What was your membership number?"
*He gives me a number that doesn't appear on our system*
Me - "Hmmm. I'm not getting a match under that one sir. I should be fine to bring it up using a name search. May I please get your first and last name please?"
Stupid Customer - "Oscar"
Me - "Okay, thanks for that sir, and just your surname now please?"
Stupid Customer - "Uh, that's a bit of a stupid question don't you think?"
Me - "Um, well, I mean, no, no I do rerequire your surname to be able to bring you up on our system, we would have quite alot of customers with the name Oscar..."
Stupid Customer - "Well I know it's a common name, but still. Well it doesn't matter anyway, there is no last name. Just Oscar"
Me - "O...kay then. Alright well I'll try with a date of birth then sir. May I please get your date of birth?"
Stupid Customer - "What is it with you and these stupid questions? How the hell am I supposed to know that!"
Me - "Uh...you don't know your date of birth sir?"
Stupid Customer - "Pft, I told you, no! I don't know how anyone can be expected to know that! look, can I ask why you're bring do difficult and un-helpful right now? I told you, I just want to check something on my policy, I JUST want to know when the next payment's due! Why is that so hard!"
Me - "I do apologise sir, but I need to ask these questions to try and locate your policy since the membership number you provided did not bring anything up. It was Health Insurance Inc that you are with, isn't it sir? You have a health insurance policy with us"
Stupid Customer - "Yes! I've had my policy with your company for about 3 years now! Just look it up okay, I told you already, my name's Oscar!"
Me - "As mentioned sir, I will need more than just a first name. Do you recall the last thing you claimed on perhaps, and I cant search via the claims history?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah it was just last week actually, I went in and got some shots done"
Me - "Okay, excellent sir, I'll bring up the pharmacy claims from the last week and we can go from there. Okay, so what type of vaccines were they?"
Stupid Customer - "It was mainly just worming shots that I got"
Me - "Oh...okay, well I mean, I know that you can claim on worming tablets that are prescription only, but for actual vaccines I'm not sure, I would need to check because I'm familiar with the tablets but not the vaccines..."
Stupid Customer - "Oh for F*CK SAKE! You're an idiot, a complete and utter idiot! Is there a manager I can speak to? Who the f*ck hasn't heard of worming shots, are you new or something? Can you get me someone who knows what they're doing?"
Me - "Okay sir. Well before I see if a manager is available, I can check one last thing that may work for us here - what was the name of the place you got the shot done at?"
Stupid Customer - "Burrows Solutions"
*I look up our list of pharmacies/clinics etc....no match*
Me - "Okay, well I'm sorry sir but I don't actually get a match on that name on our list here..."
*interrupting me*
Stupid Customer - "Oh for god sakes, you're a complete idiot, you know that? Useless, just useless. I've had enough, stop wasting my time and go get me someone who knows what they're doing"
*While he was saying that I have Googled Burrow Solutions*
Me - "Uh...just to clarify sir...I do get a match on Burrow Solutions, but it comes up as a vet?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, no sh*t! I alreayd told you, that's where I got my shots done at!"
Me - "Uh...okay, I mean...I just don't quite understand why you would be getting your vaccines done at a vet, I mean, is there a DRs clinic attached or something?"
Stupid Customer - "What? No! I TOLD you! That's where I took Oscar to get his shots! What is WRONG with you?!"
Me - "Er, I'm sorry sir...this whole time you have been referring to yourself...who may I ask is Oscar?"
Stupid Customer - "MY F*CKING DOG! I TOLD YOU ALREADY, I GOT A QUESTION ABOUT HIS POLICY!"
Me - "Right. So were you after pet insurance then?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes! I already TOLD you that!"
Me - "Yeah, sorry sir, no, no you did not. As mentioned more than once, you've called Health Insurance Inc. Health Insurance. We do not do pet insurance. You've called the wrong company. May I suggest checking the number you have dialled, and if you do get through to the right place, to not refer to yourself when speaking about your pet dog? It may allow the person answering to understand what it is you are actually talking about. Thanks for calling" *CLICK*
What a F*CKWIT
Stupid Customer - "Yes, hi, I just had a question about my policy?"
Me - "Sure, I'll just bring that up and have a look. What was your membership number?"
*He gives me a number that doesn't appear on our system*
Me - "Hmmm. I'm not getting a match under that one sir. I should be fine to bring it up using a name search. May I please get your first and last name please?"
Stupid Customer - "Oscar"
Me - "Okay, thanks for that sir, and just your surname now please?"
Stupid Customer - "Uh, that's a bit of a stupid question don't you think?"
Me - "Um, well, I mean, no, no I do rerequire your surname to be able to bring you up on our system, we would have quite alot of customers with the name Oscar..."
Stupid Customer - "Well I know it's a common name, but still. Well it doesn't matter anyway, there is no last name. Just Oscar"
Me - "O...kay then. Alright well I'll try with a date of birth then sir. May I please get your date of birth?"
Stupid Customer - "What is it with you and these stupid questions? How the hell am I supposed to know that!"
Me - "Uh...you don't know your date of birth sir?"
Stupid Customer - "Pft, I told you, no! I don't know how anyone can be expected to know that! look, can I ask why you're bring do difficult and un-helpful right now? I told you, I just want to check something on my policy, I JUST want to know when the next payment's due! Why is that so hard!"
Me - "I do apologise sir, but I need to ask these questions to try and locate your policy since the membership number you provided did not bring anything up. It was Health Insurance Inc that you are with, isn't it sir? You have a health insurance policy with us"
Stupid Customer - "Yes! I've had my policy with your company for about 3 years now! Just look it up okay, I told you already, my name's Oscar!"
Me - "As mentioned sir, I will need more than just a first name. Do you recall the last thing you claimed on perhaps, and I cant search via the claims history?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah it was just last week actually, I went in and got some shots done"
Me - "Okay, excellent sir, I'll bring up the pharmacy claims from the last week and we can go from there. Okay, so what type of vaccines were they?"
Stupid Customer - "It was mainly just worming shots that I got"
Me - "Oh...okay, well I mean, I know that you can claim on worming tablets that are prescription only, but for actual vaccines I'm not sure, I would need to check because I'm familiar with the tablets but not the vaccines..."
Stupid Customer - "Oh for F*CK SAKE! You're an idiot, a complete and utter idiot! Is there a manager I can speak to? Who the f*ck hasn't heard of worming shots, are you new or something? Can you get me someone who knows what they're doing?"
Me - "Okay sir. Well before I see if a manager is available, I can check one last thing that may work for us here - what was the name of the place you got the shot done at?"
Stupid Customer - "Burrows Solutions"
*I look up our list of pharmacies/clinics etc....no match*
Me - "Okay, well I'm sorry sir but I don't actually get a match on that name on our list here..."
*interrupting me*
Stupid Customer - "Oh for god sakes, you're a complete idiot, you know that? Useless, just useless. I've had enough, stop wasting my time and go get me someone who knows what they're doing"
*While he was saying that I have Googled Burrow Solutions*
Me - "Uh...just to clarify sir...I do get a match on Burrow Solutions, but it comes up as a vet?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, no sh*t! I alreayd told you, that's where I got my shots done at!"
Me - "Uh...okay, I mean...I just don't quite understand why you would be getting your vaccines done at a vet, I mean, is there a DRs clinic attached or something?"
Stupid Customer - "What? No! I TOLD you! That's where I took Oscar to get his shots! What is WRONG with you?!"
Me - "Er, I'm sorry sir...this whole time you have been referring to yourself...who may I ask is Oscar?"
Stupid Customer - "MY F*CKING DOG! I TOLD YOU ALREADY, I GOT A QUESTION ABOUT HIS POLICY!"
Me - "Right. So were you after pet insurance then?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes! I already TOLD you that!"
Me - "Yeah, sorry sir, no, no you did not. As mentioned more than once, you've called Health Insurance Inc. Health Insurance. We do not do pet insurance. You've called the wrong company. May I suggest checking the number you have dialled, and if you do get through to the right place, to not refer to yourself when speaking about your pet dog? It may allow the person answering to understand what it is you are actually talking about. Thanks for calling" *CLICK*
What a F*CKWIT
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Hi there. Can you hear me ok?"
Me - "Yes ma'am, I can hear you fine. How can I help you?
Stupid Customer - "I just had a general question, but I can't hear you. Can you hear me?"
Me - "Yes, I can hear you. Can you hear me okay?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes. But I can't hear you"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "I said I can hear what you're saying, but it's a bad line. I can't hear anything you're saying. Hello?"
Me - "Okay...I'm sorry, just to clarify ma'am, can you hear me, or are you having difficulty?"
Stupid Customer - "No no, I'm not having any difficulty, I can hear you fine, but I can't hear anything you're saying, it's a bad line"
Me - "O....kay. Alright. Well, how could I help you today?"
Stupid Customer - "I just needed help with a letter I got about a claim"
Me - "Sure ma'am, whta was your member number?"
Stupid Customer - "My member number is 49910384, except I can't hear a single word you're saying"
Me - "You can't hear me again ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "That's right, I can't hear you again. Well, I haven't been able to hear a single word you've said right from when you said hi welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you"
Me - "........um.....okay....."
Stupid Customer, suddenly YELLS - "GODDAMN F*CKING PHONE, F*CK YOU, F*CK YOU YOU PIECE OF F*CKING SH*T, F*CK!"...*Click*...
Me - "Okay then..........."
Stupid Customer - "Hi there. Can you hear me ok?"
Me - "Yes ma'am, I can hear you fine. How can I help you?
Stupid Customer - "I just had a general question, but I can't hear you. Can you hear me?"
Me - "Yes, I can hear you. Can you hear me okay?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes. But I can't hear you"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "I said I can hear what you're saying, but it's a bad line. I can't hear anything you're saying. Hello?"
Me - "Okay...I'm sorry, just to clarify ma'am, can you hear me, or are you having difficulty?"
Stupid Customer - "No no, I'm not having any difficulty, I can hear you fine, but I can't hear anything you're saying, it's a bad line"
Me - "O....kay. Alright. Well, how could I help you today?"
Stupid Customer - "I just needed help with a letter I got about a claim"
Me - "Sure ma'am, whta was your member number?"
Stupid Customer - "My member number is 49910384, except I can't hear a single word you're saying"
Me - "You can't hear me again ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "That's right, I can't hear you again. Well, I haven't been able to hear a single word you've said right from when you said hi welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you"
Me - "........um.....okay....."
Stupid Customer, suddenly YELLS - "GODDAMN F*CKING PHONE, F*CK YOU, F*CK YOU YOU PIECE OF F*CKING SH*T, F*CK!"...*Click*...
Me - "Okay then..........."
Wow. Just...wow.
Just had a call with a guy who truly acted like a 2 year old. I am still reeling...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, I got this letter saying that I haven't paid you guys my money?"
*I bring up the policy, look thruogh it all...*
Me - "Okay sir, so yes, I can see here that you missed your last payment, once that one has been paid and your policy is up to date, you'll be able to claim again. Would you like me to transfer you through to our payment department to get that taken care of?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, put me through"
Me - "Sure, no problem sir. Just be aware though that it takes at least one working day for the payment to hit your policy, once that payment reflects on your policy, you'll be able to claim again as normal. I'll just pop you through now..."
*interrupts me...note, his voice suddenly becomes soooo WHINEY...I'm talking, like a 3 yr old kid who you have just told is not allowed to have any lollies...I am thrown by just how childish and whiney it is, it's hard to describe...*
Stupid Customer - "NOOOO, but I want to claim NOWWWWW! Noooo, nonononono arghhhhhh! Noooo! I don't wanna waaaaait, arghhhhh!"
Me, after I pick my jaw up off the floor - "Ah, okay sir. Well, I do apologise for any inconvenience this may cause, but we do not use real timeprocessing so the very earliest a payment can reflect on your policy is one working dayl that is written on all of our payment reminders and bills, so that you are aware to allow for that one day for standard bank processing so that you don't find yourself waiting to claim. You can lodge any claims you have pending once the payment hits the policy sir, this doesn't mean you can't claim at all, it just means you have to wait one day for the payment to reflect on your policy. You will still get any rebate you are entitled to"
Stupid Customer - "Arghhhhhhhhh nononononono, ugh! NO! I wanna claim right now, NOW! I'm not hanging up until you fix this, now! ARGHHHHH! This is ridiculous, I pay you for service and I'm not getting any! I wanna claim now! Wanna claim now! Wanna claim now! Nownownownownownow!"
Me - "I'm sorry sir, regardlessoof how many times you repeat yourself, the facts remain the same - we have to wait for the bank to clear and then send the payment to us. Given the banking system we use, it is not possible to have this happen any earlier than 1 working day from the day you pay"
Stupid Customer - "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
*Yes. He made a 'waaaah' sound. LIke a baby. Wah*
Me - "Okay sir...so would you like me to put you through to our payment department?"
Stupid Customer - "Wanna claim, wanna claim, wanna claim, wanna claim"
Me - "Okay, well as advised, that is not going to possible until the payment reflects on your policy. The facts of the matter will not change. The sooner you pay, the sooner you will be able to claim. Would you like me to transfer you through?"
Stupid Customer - "Where's your manager?"
Me - "At this time sir, I believe he would be halfway home. This is not, however, a matter that can be escalated. Our managers do not take escalations where the information they would provideis the same that you have already been given"
Stupid Customer - ""But. I. Want. To. CLAIM! CLAIM! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Now! I'm not hanging up till I can claaaaaaaaim, arghhhhhhhh"
Me - "Okay sir. Well that is your choice, but I do need to advise you that I have other people calling in who have been waiting on hold for some time now, from what you're saying there I don't believe I can assist you any further today, if there is nothing I can actually help you with I'm going to have to end this call so I can assist other people, okay sir?"
Stupid Customer - "No! Nononononono! ARGGGGGGH, I wanna claim, ugh! UGH! WAAAAAAH. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Wah wah wah, WAHHHH"
Me - "Okay sir, you have a great evening now"... *CLICK*
I'm telling you, I've spoken to plenty of whiney people in my time. But that guy took the cake. BY A MILE.
I really cannot explain or describe it enough - when I say he whined like a little baby, that is LITERALLY what he was doing. He was 100% fine and normal at the start of the call, and then all of a sudden, BAM. Soon as he heard something he didn't like, off he went.
Wow. I'm still shocked by it.
Even worse - he had a wife and kids on his policy. He was allowed to reproduce?! Oh hell no, that sh*t should have been banned...
Just had a call with a guy who truly acted like a 2 year old. I am still reeling...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, I got this letter saying that I haven't paid you guys my money?"
*I bring up the policy, look thruogh it all...*
Me - "Okay sir, so yes, I can see here that you missed your last payment, once that one has been paid and your policy is up to date, you'll be able to claim again. Would you like me to transfer you through to our payment department to get that taken care of?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, put me through"
Me - "Sure, no problem sir. Just be aware though that it takes at least one working day for the payment to hit your policy, once that payment reflects on your policy, you'll be able to claim again as normal. I'll just pop you through now..."
*interrupts me...note, his voice suddenly becomes soooo WHINEY...I'm talking, like a 3 yr old kid who you have just told is not allowed to have any lollies...I am thrown by just how childish and whiney it is, it's hard to describe...*
Stupid Customer - "NOOOO, but I want to claim NOWWWWW! Noooo, nonononono arghhhhhh! Noooo! I don't wanna waaaaait, arghhhhh!"
Me, after I pick my jaw up off the floor - "Ah, okay sir. Well, I do apologise for any inconvenience this may cause, but we do not use real timeprocessing so the very earliest a payment can reflect on your policy is one working dayl that is written on all of our payment reminders and bills, so that you are aware to allow for that one day for standard bank processing so that you don't find yourself waiting to claim. You can lodge any claims you have pending once the payment hits the policy sir, this doesn't mean you can't claim at all, it just means you have to wait one day for the payment to reflect on your policy. You will still get any rebate you are entitled to"
Stupid Customer - "Arghhhhhhhhh nononononono, ugh! NO! I wanna claim right now, NOW! I'm not hanging up until you fix this, now! ARGHHHHH! This is ridiculous, I pay you for service and I'm not getting any! I wanna claim now! Wanna claim now! Wanna claim now! Nownownownownownow!"
Me - "I'm sorry sir, regardlessoof how many times you repeat yourself, the facts remain the same - we have to wait for the bank to clear and then send the payment to us. Given the banking system we use, it is not possible to have this happen any earlier than 1 working day from the day you pay"
Stupid Customer - "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
*Yes. He made a 'waaaah' sound. LIke a baby. Wah*
Me - "Okay sir...so would you like me to put you through to our payment department?"
Stupid Customer - "Wanna claim, wanna claim, wanna claim, wanna claim"
Me - "Okay, well as advised, that is not going to possible until the payment reflects on your policy. The facts of the matter will not change. The sooner you pay, the sooner you will be able to claim. Would you like me to transfer you through?"
Stupid Customer - "Where's your manager?"
Me - "At this time sir, I believe he would be halfway home. This is not, however, a matter that can be escalated. Our managers do not take escalations where the information they would provideis the same that you have already been given"
Stupid Customer - ""But. I. Want. To. CLAIM! CLAIM! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Now! I'm not hanging up till I can claaaaaaaaim, arghhhhhhhh"
Me - "Okay sir. Well that is your choice, but I do need to advise you that I have other people calling in who have been waiting on hold for some time now, from what you're saying there I don't believe I can assist you any further today, if there is nothing I can actually help you with I'm going to have to end this call so I can assist other people, okay sir?"
Stupid Customer - "No! Nononononono! ARGGGGGGH, I wanna claim, ugh! UGH! WAAAAAAH. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Wah wah wah, WAHHHH"
Me - "Okay sir, you have a great evening now"... *CLICK*
I'm telling you, I've spoken to plenty of whiney people in my time. But that guy took the cake. BY A MILE.
I really cannot explain or describe it enough - when I say he whined like a little baby, that is LITERALLY what he was doing. He was 100% fine and normal at the start of the call, and then all of a sudden, BAM. Soon as he heard something he didn't like, off he went.
Wow. I'm still shocked by it.
Even worse - he had a wife and kids on his policy. He was allowed to reproduce?! Oh hell no, that sh*t should have been banned...
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, can you tell me where I am?"
Me - "Um...I don't think I quite get what you mean ma'am. This is Health Insurance Inc that you've called?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah. Where am I?"
Me - "Well...you've come through to the call centre for Health Insurance Inc..."
*interrupting me*
Stupid Customer - "No no, I know where I've called, I'm asking you WHERE AM I?!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, I don't understand what you mean."
Stupid Customer - "*SIGH*...I'm standing infront of a building with a weird shaped eagle looking symbol on the front, there is a pizza shop behind me, I'm about 5 minutes away from a cab stand, I just need to know where I am, god!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, I really wouldn't have a clue..."
Stupid Customer - "Well you're a whole lotta help then aren't you!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am. I can only realise assist with health insurance enquiries"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, and you do directory assistance too!"
Me - "Uh...no ma'am, no, this is just health insurance"
Stupid Customer - "And directory assistance!"
Me - "No...????"
Stupid Customer, suddenly yelling - "YOU DO DIRECTORY ASSISTANCE TOO!" *CLICK*
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, can you tell me where I am?"
Me - "Um...I don't think I quite get what you mean ma'am. This is Health Insurance Inc that you've called?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah. Where am I?"
Me - "Well...you've come through to the call centre for Health Insurance Inc..."
*interrupting me*
Stupid Customer - "No no, I know where I've called, I'm asking you WHERE AM I?!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, I don't understand what you mean."
Stupid Customer - "*SIGH*...I'm standing infront of a building with a weird shaped eagle looking symbol on the front, there is a pizza shop behind me, I'm about 5 minutes away from a cab stand, I just need to know where I am, god!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, I really wouldn't have a clue..."
Stupid Customer - "Well you're a whole lotta help then aren't you!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am. I can only realise assist with health insurance enquiries"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, and you do directory assistance too!"
Me - "Uh...no ma'am, no, this is just health insurance"
Stupid Customer - "And directory assistance!"
Me - "No...????"
Stupid Customer, suddenly yelling - "YOU DO DIRECTORY ASSISTANCE TOO!" *CLICK*
The scary thing about this post? This is NOT the first time this has happened...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Hi, can I please have your phone number?"
Me - "Sure sir, which phone number were you after, was it for one of our branches?"
Stupid Customer - "Branches? Nah, I need the phone number for the call centre"
Me - "Oh, well we only have the one call centre sir, it's just us here"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah. What's your number please?"
Me - "Um...well...you just called it sir"
Stupid Customer - "Oh. Yeah" *CLICK*
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Hi, can I please have your phone number?"
Me - "Sure sir, which phone number were you after, was it for one of our branches?"
Stupid Customer - "Branches? Nah, I need the phone number for the call centre"
Me - "Oh, well we only have the one call centre sir, it's just us here"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah. What's your number please?"
Me - "Um...well...you just called it sir"
Stupid Customer - "Oh. Yeah" *CLICK*
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, can I claim?"
Me - "I'll have a look for you sir...what service were you wanting to know if you can claim on?
Stupid Customer - *CLICK*
Okay then...
1 minute later...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, I wanna know if I can claim?"
*Yes, it's the same guy*
Me - "I can check for your sir but I need to know what service you are wanting to know if you can claim on or not?"
Stupid Customer - *CLICK*
1 minute later...
Colleague seated near me - "Sure sir, I can check that for you. Which service were you wanting to know is claimable or not? Sir? Hello? Sir? Okay then..."
1 minute later...
Other colleague seated near me - "Hi sir, sure let take a look. Now which service were you enquiring about today? Hello? Hey! That guy just hung up on me!"
Yet another colleague near us - "Yes sir...okay...okay...alright so you want to lodge a complaint about a few of the staff here...they refused to help you? Okay....okay...well I mean, we would need to know what service it is that you were asking about, otherwise we have no way of checking anything for you sir...hello? Sir? Hello sir, are you there?"
Yeah. Weird.
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, can I claim?"
Me - "I'll have a look for you sir...what service were you wanting to know if you can claim on?
Stupid Customer - *CLICK*
Okay then...
1 minute later...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, I wanna know if I can claim?"
*Yes, it's the same guy*
Me - "I can check for your sir but I need to know what service you are wanting to know if you can claim on or not?"
Stupid Customer - *CLICK*
1 minute later...
Colleague seated near me - "Sure sir, I can check that for you. Which service were you wanting to know is claimable or not? Sir? Hello? Sir? Okay then..."
1 minute later...
Other colleague seated near me - "Hi sir, sure let take a look. Now which service were you enquiring about today? Hello? Hey! That guy just hung up on me!"
Yet another colleague near us - "Yes sir...okay...okay...alright so you want to lodge a complaint about a few of the staff here...they refused to help you? Okay....okay...well I mean, we would need to know what service it is that you were asking about, otherwise we have no way of checking anything for you sir...hello? Sir? Hello sir, are you there?"
Yeah. Weird.
A colleague who sits near me just had a convo with a customer who called in... because he sits so close and I wasn't on a call myself at the time, I heard it all. It sounded like a normal, calm, pleasant convo - my colleague was telling this guy that if he paid his policy via credit card it would not reflect immediately, all payments hit the policy the next working day.
Literally about 2 minutes after his call ended, I get this...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Hi, my husband just called you earlier a minute ago and the guy he spoke to was incredibly rude and horrible to him! We got a letter saying our policy was overdue and we needed to pay it, and the guy he spoke to said he wasn't allowed to pay! He abused my poor husband, he screamed and yelled at him and would not let him pay! I'm his wife!"
Me - "Er....okay ma'am. That sounds very ...unusual. I'll bring up your policy and take a look"
*I bring up the policy and yup, sure enough, I am speaking with the wife of the guy my colleague just spoke with*
Me - "Okay ma'am, so I can see the policy and the notes from the last conversation...so just to clarify, it was your husband that called? Did he have the phone on loud speaker or something?"
Stupid Customer - "No, it wasn't on loud speaker, I didn't get to hear it. I normally handle everything to do with the insurance so he doesn't have to deal with people like you, and the one time I do let him call, this happens! He had called in just wanting to make a payment, to actually GIVE you guys money, and he comes back to me very upset because the man he spoke to abused him and told him that he is not allwoed to pay!Seee! This is why I normally shield him from you, you people are horrible!"
*NOTE - the husband is almost 40 yrs old. The fact that this encounter has 'upset' him, combined with the fact that his mouth is quite clearly sucking firmly on her t*ts, is making it very hard for me not to LOL right in her ear...*
Me - "Okay ma'am, I'm sorry to hear that the conversation upset him. I must say though. I have the notes on the policy here and I actually sit opposite the gentleman your husband spoke to. I'm sorry but all your husband was told was that we can take a credit card payment from him if he likes but we just want to mention to him so he is aware, that the payment will not actually reflect on the policy till the next working day, as we don't use real time processing. it goes through overnight. I was present for the entire conversation and I am sorry but that it all that was stated, and my colleague said this in a calm and polite manner. I'm not quite sure what your husband is doing, but the conversation that he mentions did not actually take place. We record all calls and can even send you a copy of the recording if you like?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh....um...no, no...that's okay. I guess he was just...um...confused then"
Me - "Mmmm-hmmmm"
Stupid Customer - "So, um... I can just make that payment with you on the phone now then?"
Me - "Sure ma'am, let's get that through for you"
The sad thing is that this kind of rubbish does happen every now and then. Someone will either call back themselves, or get their partner or MUM to call back after they've just spoken with us, and will go on and on about how poor them, woe is them, they were just ABUSED and we were so RUDE! Each time it's like, dude, we are happy to send you the recording of the call if you want.
But seriously people...do these idiots not realise that if we actuallty did abuse and speak to incredibly rudely to customers like they claim we have done to them, that we would not only be fired on the spot, but most likely arrested as well?
Sheesh.
Literally about 2 minutes after his call ended, I get this...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Hi, my husband just called you earlier a minute ago and the guy he spoke to was incredibly rude and horrible to him! We got a letter saying our policy was overdue and we needed to pay it, and the guy he spoke to said he wasn't allowed to pay! He abused my poor husband, he screamed and yelled at him and would not let him pay! I'm his wife!"
Me - "Er....okay ma'am. That sounds very ...unusual. I'll bring up your policy and take a look"
*I bring up the policy and yup, sure enough, I am speaking with the wife of the guy my colleague just spoke with*
Me - "Okay ma'am, so I can see the policy and the notes from the last conversation...so just to clarify, it was your husband that called? Did he have the phone on loud speaker or something?"
Stupid Customer - "No, it wasn't on loud speaker, I didn't get to hear it. I normally handle everything to do with the insurance so he doesn't have to deal with people like you, and the one time I do let him call, this happens! He had called in just wanting to make a payment, to actually GIVE you guys money, and he comes back to me very upset because the man he spoke to abused him and told him that he is not allwoed to pay!Seee! This is why I normally shield him from you, you people are horrible!"
*NOTE - the husband is almost 40 yrs old. The fact that this encounter has 'upset' him, combined with the fact that his mouth is quite clearly sucking firmly on her t*ts, is making it very hard for me not to LOL right in her ear...*
Me - "Okay ma'am, I'm sorry to hear that the conversation upset him. I must say though. I have the notes on the policy here and I actually sit opposite the gentleman your husband spoke to. I'm sorry but all your husband was told was that we can take a credit card payment from him if he likes but we just want to mention to him so he is aware, that the payment will not actually reflect on the policy till the next working day, as we don't use real time processing. it goes through overnight. I was present for the entire conversation and I am sorry but that it all that was stated, and my colleague said this in a calm and polite manner. I'm not quite sure what your husband is doing, but the conversation that he mentions did not actually take place. We record all calls and can even send you a copy of the recording if you like?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh....um...no, no...that's okay. I guess he was just...um...confused then"
Me - "Mmmm-hmmmm"
Stupid Customer - "So, um... I can just make that payment with you on the phone now then?"
Me - "Sure ma'am, let's get that through for you"
The sad thing is that this kind of rubbish does happen every now and then. Someone will either call back themselves, or get their partner or MUM to call back after they've just spoken with us, and will go on and on about how poor them, woe is them, they were just ABUSED and we were so RUDE! Each time it's like, dude, we are happy to send you the recording of the call if you want.
But seriously people...do these idiots not realise that if we actuallty did abuse and speak to incredibly rudely to customers like they claim we have done to them, that we would not only be fired on the spot, but most likely arrested as well?
Sheesh.
Sunday, 20 November 2011
I don't know why this is, or where the superiority complex comes from, but 8 out of 10 people that call us from Drs rooms and hospitals chasing up 'outstanding' payments, are usually rude/out of line/patronising/snobby [the list goes on, but you get the idea].
9 out of 10 times, the paymemt is not actually 'outstanding'.
Case in point, I have had the below calls, all within the past HOUR:
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Nice to have someone finally answer the call..."
*I look at the call timer....she had been on hold for just 18 seconds*
Me - "Sorry for the delay ma'am, how could I help today?"
Stupid Customer - "I sent you people a hospital account for [membership details] 2 months ago and as usual, you stuffed it up. It was never paid. Bring it up and sort it out"
*I bring the membership up*
Me - "Okay...so I can see here that we actually paid that claim a month ago, and a payment advice was sent?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh...oh yeah, I see it now"...*CLICK*
_______________________________________________________________
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Good afternoon, I'm calling to chase up an overdue hospital claim payment. Can I just say that I'm sick of always having to call and chase these up with you people?"
*Once again I bring up the membership*
Me - "Thanks for holding ma'am. That claim has already been paid, it was paid on [date] which was actually 3 weeks before the due date. Have you checked the hospitals bank account?"
Stupid Customer - "No. I just assumed it was late because you people always pay them late"...*CLICK*
NOTE - I read through the notes on the policy and this woman calls in every single month, and pulls the exact same routine - saying we always pay claims late and she is sick of chasing us...every single claim has been paid weeks before the due date. They've never been late for that hospital
_____________________________________________________________
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Look this up [gives me membership details]
Me - "Okay ma'am, I've got that policy up, how could I help with that one today?"
Stupid Customer - *SIGH* "I wanna know why you havent paid [hospital claim], how long do we have to wait to get money from you? It's ridiculous!"
*I take a look...*
Stupid Customer - "Uh, ma'am? That payment was made to the hospital 6 weeks ago, and I can even see we received back the payment advice signed off confirming it was received?"
Stupid Customer - *CLICK*
__________________________________________________________
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "I'm calling about an overdue payment please"
Me - "Sure ma'am, I can help with that, what was the membership number?"
*I bring up the policy and have a look for the claim...while I am doing this, she says to me in a sickly sweet voice...*
Stupid Customer - "I hope you don't mind me saying, but your work really is a bit of a joke, don't you think? It's very unprofessional to not pay a claim like this, I'm suprised you're about to stay afloat, you must be on below minimum wage given the low wuality of service you offer. Do you even know what you're doing, hmmmm? I know that if I worked there, I would never let a claim slip under the radar like this, it's very unprofessional"
Me - "Okay. Well I can see here, ma'am, that this claim was actually already paid back on [date]. have you checked the payment advices, or the bank account?"
Stupid Customer - *I hear her typing on her end* "Oh...there it is...thanks!"...*CLICK*
_______________________________________________________________________
WTF.
I mean, if there had actually been a claims error, I can understand the frustration.
Even more so, if it was a place where we had a history of making mistakes with claims, then absoutely, I would be mad too.
But in ALL of these cases - like it usually is - there had never been an issue or delay with claims for the hospital/DRs room in the past, the claims had already been paid [in some cases, long ago], and it seemed each time the people just hadnt bothered actually looking if the claim had been paid?
I mean, I can even understand if you hadn't looked and were just wanting to check - that's fine!
But to call in with attitude like that, and to be so rude...nope.
Uncalled for, and just shows how unprofessional THEY are...
9 out of 10 times, the paymemt is not actually 'outstanding'.
Case in point, I have had the below calls, all within the past HOUR:
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Nice to have someone finally answer the call..."
*I look at the call timer....she had been on hold for just 18 seconds*
Me - "Sorry for the delay ma'am, how could I help today?"
Stupid Customer - "I sent you people a hospital account for [membership details] 2 months ago and as usual, you stuffed it up. It was never paid. Bring it up and sort it out"
*I bring the membership up*
Me - "Okay...so I can see here that we actually paid that claim a month ago, and a payment advice was sent?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh...oh yeah, I see it now"...*CLICK*
_______________________________________________________________
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Good afternoon, I'm calling to chase up an overdue hospital claim payment. Can I just say that I'm sick of always having to call and chase these up with you people?"
*Once again I bring up the membership*
Me - "Thanks for holding ma'am. That claim has already been paid, it was paid on [date] which was actually 3 weeks before the due date. Have you checked the hospitals bank account?"
Stupid Customer - "No. I just assumed it was late because you people always pay them late"...*CLICK*
NOTE - I read through the notes on the policy and this woman calls in every single month, and pulls the exact same routine - saying we always pay claims late and she is sick of chasing us...every single claim has been paid weeks before the due date. They've never been late for that hospital
_____________________________________________________________
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Look this up [gives me membership details]
Me - "Okay ma'am, I've got that policy up, how could I help with that one today?"
Stupid Customer - *SIGH* "I wanna know why you havent paid [hospital claim], how long do we have to wait to get money from you? It's ridiculous!"
*I take a look...*
Stupid Customer - "Uh, ma'am? That payment was made to the hospital 6 weeks ago, and I can even see we received back the payment advice signed off confirming it was received?"
Stupid Customer - *CLICK*
__________________________________________________________
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "I'm calling about an overdue payment please"
Me - "Sure ma'am, I can help with that, what was the membership number?"
*I bring up the policy and have a look for the claim...while I am doing this, she says to me in a sickly sweet voice...*
Stupid Customer - "I hope you don't mind me saying, but your work really is a bit of a joke, don't you think? It's very unprofessional to not pay a claim like this, I'm suprised you're about to stay afloat, you must be on below minimum wage given the low wuality of service you offer. Do you even know what you're doing, hmmmm? I know that if I worked there, I would never let a claim slip under the radar like this, it's very unprofessional"
Me - "Okay. Well I can see here, ma'am, that this claim was actually already paid back on [date]. have you checked the payment advices, or the bank account?"
Stupid Customer - *I hear her typing on her end* "Oh...there it is...thanks!"...*CLICK*
_______________________________________________________________________
WTF.
I mean, if there had actually been a claims error, I can understand the frustration.
Even more so, if it was a place where we had a history of making mistakes with claims, then absoutely, I would be mad too.
But in ALL of these cases - like it usually is - there had never been an issue or delay with claims for the hospital/DRs room in the past, the claims had already been paid [in some cases, long ago], and it seemed each time the people just hadnt bothered actually looking if the claim had been paid?
I mean, I can even understand if you hadn't looked and were just wanting to check - that's fine!
But to call in with attitude like that, and to be so rude...nope.
Uncalled for, and just shows how unprofessional THEY are...
This call was actually nothing much out of the ordinary, but I thought I would post it anyway, as it's a good demonstration of the type of call I get about once every half an hour.
ATTACK OF THE IDIOTS WHO DO NOT LISTEN!!!
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Hi, I just wanted to double check something. My surgeon has given me a quote and I wanted to see if it was correct"
Me - "Sure ma'am, let's take a look"
*I bring up her policy details etc*
Me - "Okay so what does the quote say there?"
Stupid Customer - "It says total fee payable by patient $738. Is that how much I have to pay?"
Me - "There should be a section below right below that ma'am, it will say either inclusive or exclusive of health fund rebate?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, I see it. It says inclusive"
Me - "Right. So the DR has already factored in how much the health fund will pay back, so yes, your out of pocket expense to pay the DR yourself is $738"
Stupid Customer - "Okay. So how much the health fund paying?"
Me - "Well, if you look in the bottom right hand corner of the account there ma'am, there should be a section that gives you a detailed breakdown?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh yeah, yeah I see it. It says total fee $1820...health fund rebate $1082...patient out of pocket expense $738"
Me - "Okay, that's the one, that gives you the detailed breakdown"
Stupid Customer - "But...what do I have to pay?"
Me - "Um...well ma'am, you just pay $738 to the DR. The health fund pays the balance"
Stupid Customer - "Okay. But how come the health fund isn't paying anything towards this? I've had health insurance for years!"
Me - "Uh...ma'am, if you just refer to that section in the bottom right hand corner again...you can see there that the health fund is paying $1082 towards this procedure"
Stupid Customer - "Right. But...like...what do I pay though?"
Me - "You pay $738 ma'am"
Stupid Customer - "None of this makes any sense. I just want to know what I have to pay"
Me - "You have to pay $738 ma'am"
Stupid Customer - "You keep saying that, but how come I have insurance then? I'm paying for nothing!"
Me - "Ma'am, the Dr's total fee is $1820. The health fund is paying $1082 of that. You pay the remaining $738"
Stupid Customer - "I don't get it"
Me, eye twitch - "Okay, that's ok ma'am, we can talk through. Which part were you a bit confused with?"
Stupid Customer - "All of it"
Me - "Okay. So basically..."
*she talks over me*
Stupid Customer - "Look just forget it okaty. I think I'm just going to cancel, I don't see why I bother having insurance if I can't ever claim anything back"... *CLICK*
Um. Okay then??
PS. I want to say hello to Mona, who reads and comments on the blog here - I still haven't worked out how to reply to the actual comments , but please know that I read every single comment that everyone makes and Mona, I love hearing from you!! :) thanks for taking the time to read and leave your feedback, you're awesome :)
ATTACK OF THE IDIOTS WHO DO NOT LISTEN!!!
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Hi, I just wanted to double check something. My surgeon has given me a quote and I wanted to see if it was correct"
Me - "Sure ma'am, let's take a look"
*I bring up her policy details etc*
Me - "Okay so what does the quote say there?"
Stupid Customer - "It says total fee payable by patient $738. Is that how much I have to pay?"
Me - "There should be a section below right below that ma'am, it will say either inclusive or exclusive of health fund rebate?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, I see it. It says inclusive"
Me - "Right. So the DR has already factored in how much the health fund will pay back, so yes, your out of pocket expense to pay the DR yourself is $738"
Stupid Customer - "Okay. So how much the health fund paying?"
Me - "Well, if you look in the bottom right hand corner of the account there ma'am, there should be a section that gives you a detailed breakdown?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh yeah, yeah I see it. It says total fee $1820...health fund rebate $1082...patient out of pocket expense $738"
Me - "Okay, that's the one, that gives you the detailed breakdown"
Stupid Customer - "But...what do I have to pay?"
Me - "Um...well ma'am, you just pay $738 to the DR. The health fund pays the balance"
Stupid Customer - "Okay. But how come the health fund isn't paying anything towards this? I've had health insurance for years!"
Me - "Uh...ma'am, if you just refer to that section in the bottom right hand corner again...you can see there that the health fund is paying $1082 towards this procedure"
Stupid Customer - "Right. But...like...what do I pay though?"
Me - "You pay $738 ma'am"
Stupid Customer - "None of this makes any sense. I just want to know what I have to pay"
Me - "You have to pay $738 ma'am"
Stupid Customer - "You keep saying that, but how come I have insurance then? I'm paying for nothing!"
Me - "Ma'am, the Dr's total fee is $1820. The health fund is paying $1082 of that. You pay the remaining $738"
Stupid Customer - "I don't get it"
Me, eye twitch - "Okay, that's ok ma'am, we can talk through. Which part were you a bit confused with?"
Stupid Customer - "All of it"
Me - "Okay. So basically..."
*she talks over me*
Stupid Customer - "Look just forget it okaty. I think I'm just going to cancel, I don't see why I bother having insurance if I can't ever claim anything back"... *CLICK*
Um. Okay then??
PS. I want to say hello to Mona, who reads and comments on the blog here - I still haven't worked out how to reply to the actual comments , but please know that I read every single comment that everyone makes and Mona, I love hearing from you!! :) thanks for taking the time to read and leave your feedback, you're awesome :)
Saturday, 19 November 2011
All day this rude woman had been calling in over an over - she had been knocked back on a claim because she hadn't paid her policy in about 6 mths, so her policy had been cancelled [yes, another one of the ones where she was amazed to hear that, omg, I actually have to pay to have insurance! No way! Ugh.
So anyway, she had called in so many times that her name had become known around the office, and I recognised her phone number.
So I get an inbound call, and can see it is her number...
it;s nearing the end of my shift, I'm tired and over it, and she just wont let up with the ass-clownery, so I decided that if anything, I was going to make the call 'interesting'...I was not ever once 'rude', but I decided to act dumb the whole time...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes! Now you listen, I've had to waste my time and call in many times today. I've got a problem and you WILL fix it for me, otherwise I tell you what, I'll have your job!"
Me - "Oh okay. Well I'm sorry ma'am, but there aren't actually any positions that are currently open"
Stupid Customer - "What?"
Me - "Well you said you'll have my job, but I like my job and have no plans to leave, so my own job isn't available, and as far as I'm aware there aren't any other positions free either"
Stupid Customer - "I don't want to work there! I have a problem!"
Me - "I'm sorry to hear that ma'am"
Stupid Customer - "So are you going to help me or what?"
Me - "With your problem ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes!"
Me - "Well, I'll do my best. What was the problem that you have ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "You idiots knocked back my claim!"
Me - "I can't see that ma'am"
Stupid Customer - "What? I've been calling you people all day about this stuff up and now you're telling me you can't see it?!"
Me - "That's correct. You haven't given me any of your details yet ma'am, so right now I'm staring at a blank screen, so I can't see your problem. What was your membership number?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh. My. God. Okay, the number is..."
*she gives me all her details, though of course I already had the policy up since I knew who was calling*
Me - "Okay ma'am, so your policy has been closed for months due to non-payment, and obviously you can't claim on a closed policy. So what seems to be the problem today ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "That's it! THAT's the problem! You idiots tried telling me that I have to PAY to keep my policy!"
Me - "That's right ma'am"
Stupid Customer - "Well I disagree!"
Me - "I'm sorry to hear that"
Stupid Customer - "I don't have any money!"
Me - "Really? Neither do I, I left my wallet at home today. It's been terrible. I had to borrow money to get my lunch"
Stupid Customer - "I don't care!"
Me - "Really? I wish I was a care free as you about having no money ma'am, I've been stressing about it!"
Stupid Customer - "No, I mean, I do care, but not about you!"
Me - "Well that's okay ma'am, I mean we aren't friends or anything so I suppose I can't really expect you to care about my situation, that's fine"
Stupid Customer - "Um...yeah, but whatever! So can we get back to my problem?"
Me - "Sure thing ma'am, but I mean, I can't loan you any monoey or anything"
Stupid Customer - "What?"
Me - "Well, you said your problem was that you had no money, and you want to talk about it with me , so I just wanted to let you know right away that I don't ahve any money to lend you!"
Stupid Customer - "What? No! My problem is that you idiots didn't pay my claim!"
Me - "Oh, okay. Well I mean, like I said, your policy has been closed for months, so that matter isn't really up for discussion, so I can see why you would be upset but I don't see how it's a 'problem' as such? How did you want me to help you today ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "Pay my f*cking claim!"
Me - "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am, we don't pay towards those types of services"
Stupid Customer - "What?"
Me - "We don't pay towards those ma'am. If you want I can send you a brochure so you can read through our products and choose one to re-join on?"
Stupid Customer - "What? I don't want to re-join!"
Me - "Oh okay, well thanks for calling then ma'am, you have a lovely afternoon"
Stupid Customer - "What? Oh, f*ck it"... *CLICK*
Hehe.
Yes, yes, I know. I'm evil. But seriously people. All day, over and over, she kept calling and abusing the living hell out of my colleagues, including making racial slurs and making threats of bodily harm. And don't even get me started on her thinking she didn't have to pay for health insurance...
So anyway, she had called in so many times that her name had become known around the office, and I recognised her phone number.
So I get an inbound call, and can see it is her number...
it;s nearing the end of my shift, I'm tired and over it, and she just wont let up with the ass-clownery, so I decided that if anything, I was going to make the call 'interesting'...I was not ever once 'rude', but I decided to act dumb the whole time...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes! Now you listen, I've had to waste my time and call in many times today. I've got a problem and you WILL fix it for me, otherwise I tell you what, I'll have your job!"
Me - "Oh okay. Well I'm sorry ma'am, but there aren't actually any positions that are currently open"
Stupid Customer - "What?"
Me - "Well you said you'll have my job, but I like my job and have no plans to leave, so my own job isn't available, and as far as I'm aware there aren't any other positions free either"
Stupid Customer - "I don't want to work there! I have a problem!"
Me - "I'm sorry to hear that ma'am"
Stupid Customer - "So are you going to help me or what?"
Me - "With your problem ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes!"
Me - "Well, I'll do my best. What was the problem that you have ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "You idiots knocked back my claim!"
Me - "I can't see that ma'am"
Stupid Customer - "What? I've been calling you people all day about this stuff up and now you're telling me you can't see it?!"
Me - "That's correct. You haven't given me any of your details yet ma'am, so right now I'm staring at a blank screen, so I can't see your problem. What was your membership number?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh. My. God. Okay, the number is..."
*she gives me all her details, though of course I already had the policy up since I knew who was calling*
Me - "Okay ma'am, so your policy has been closed for months due to non-payment, and obviously you can't claim on a closed policy. So what seems to be the problem today ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "That's it! THAT's the problem! You idiots tried telling me that I have to PAY to keep my policy!"
Me - "That's right ma'am"
Stupid Customer - "Well I disagree!"
Me - "I'm sorry to hear that"
Stupid Customer - "I don't have any money!"
Me - "Really? Neither do I, I left my wallet at home today. It's been terrible. I had to borrow money to get my lunch"
Stupid Customer - "I don't care!"
Me - "Really? I wish I was a care free as you about having no money ma'am, I've been stressing about it!"
Stupid Customer - "No, I mean, I do care, but not about you!"
Me - "Well that's okay ma'am, I mean we aren't friends or anything so I suppose I can't really expect you to care about my situation, that's fine"
Stupid Customer - "Um...yeah, but whatever! So can we get back to my problem?"
Me - "Sure thing ma'am, but I mean, I can't loan you any monoey or anything"
Stupid Customer - "What?"
Me - "Well, you said your problem was that you had no money, and you want to talk about it with me , so I just wanted to let you know right away that I don't ahve any money to lend you!"
Stupid Customer - "What? No! My problem is that you idiots didn't pay my claim!"
Me - "Oh, okay. Well I mean, like I said, your policy has been closed for months, so that matter isn't really up for discussion, so I can see why you would be upset but I don't see how it's a 'problem' as such? How did you want me to help you today ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "Pay my f*cking claim!"
Me - "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am, we don't pay towards those types of services"
Stupid Customer - "What?"
Me - "We don't pay towards those ma'am. If you want I can send you a brochure so you can read through our products and choose one to re-join on?"
Stupid Customer - "What? I don't want to re-join!"
Me - "Oh okay, well thanks for calling then ma'am, you have a lovely afternoon"
Stupid Customer - "What? Oh, f*ck it"... *CLICK*
Hehe.
Yes, yes, I know. I'm evil. But seriously people. All day, over and over, she kept calling and abusing the living hell out of my colleagues, including making racial slurs and making threats of bodily harm. And don't even get me started on her thinking she didn't have to pay for health insurance...
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurane Inc, how can I help you?"
Stupid Customer, yelling - "Well nice to see someone decided to FINALLY answer my call! I've been on hold for almost half an hour!"
*I look over at the very accurate call timer*
Me - "Okay ma'am, I've got it saying you've been on hold for just under 3 minutes...how can I help you today?"
Stupid Customer - "Well your computers are broken the because I've been on hold for almost an hour, this is ridiculous!"
*An hour? Wasn't it just half an hour?Already my eyes are about to roll out of my head, I'm rolling them so much right now...*
Me - "That's very unusal ma'am, aside form the previous call I was on, there was actually no-body else calling our lines for the 20 minutes or so prior to that, so I'm not quite sure how you ended up on hold for such a lengthy period of time? In any case, now that you're gotten through, how could I help you today?"
Stupid Customer - "I spoke to a girl there earlier today and she toldme I would have my rebate paid into my account immediately! Well, I'm looking at my account online as we speak, and the money isn't there, so get her back on the phone so she can explain herself and get this sorted out right away!"
*I take down her details, bring up her policy, read through all the notes...*
Me - "Okay ma'am, so I can see that you had called in earlier today regarding a claim you had sent us for dental work that wehad sent back declined?"
Stupid Customer - "That's the one! You people made a horrible mistake there, so I called in and let you know how imcompetent you all are, and the girl I spoke to apologised and said she will make the money would be in my account by this afternoon, and she was also going to make sure I was gievn $150 extra as compensation for you guys stuffing up"
Me - "Okay. Well ma'am, we do make notes of every conversation. the notes of your policy state that you called in this morning disputing the declined dental claim. You were advised that the reason the claim was not paid was because you do not hold any dental cover. The notes indicate that you that swore at and abused the agent you were speaking with. She notes that she asked you to stop wearing at you, you continued to do so, so she terminated the call. And that's the only note on the policy from today"
Stupid Customer - "Nar, that's bullsh*t, she's lying! She told me that I was 100% covered for dental and that you guys had stuffed up so she would get the money in my account today and also give me $500 compensation"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, but that is not is noted on your policy. Furthermore, we would never advise that payment would be in someones bank account that same day as payment always takes several working days. In addition, we dio not have any facility to offer cash compensation? In any case, you've changed your version of events several times while we've been talking..."
Stupid Customer - "That's all bullsh*t! She told me all of this, she is just lying to you!"
*NOTE - the person she spoke with is a friend of mine and sits close by me. She also had no patience for lying idiots like this lady...*
Me - "Okay ma'am, well I mean, the person you spoke with actually sits quite close to where my desk is, and I can see she is there right now. I can trasnfer the call toher if you like and I'm sure she would be more than happy to discuss your version of events with her?"
Stupid Customer - "Huh? Nar, nar she will just lie again! Nar, I wanna speak to a manager!"
Me - "Okay ma'am, no a problem. I'll refer this to a manager for you"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, yeah good, refer it now 'cause I need the money today okay?"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, as mentioned we have no facility for same day bank desposits. In addition, the manager will need to bring up and listen to the call you had this morning to verify what was said before they can proceed"
Stupid Customer - "What? Nar, they don't need to verify anything! Just pass it to a manager and get me my money today okay!"
Me - "Sorry ma'am, you're making an accusation that one of our staff members gave you false information over the phone, and then falsified the notes on your account. Both are quite serious, so a manager will need to review this thoroughly"
Stupid Customer - "I don't want the call listened to, just make them pay me the money today!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, the call will definetely need to be listened to"
Stupid Customer - *CLICK*
And so, for the millionth time, Ionce again make the comment that I DONT KNOW WHY PEOPLE MAKE THIS SH*T UP!
It tellls you straight up when you call us that the calls are recorded! What, do you think we have a message like that playing just for the sheer fun of it, huh?
Dumbsh*ts
Stupid Customer, yelling - "Well nice to see someone decided to FINALLY answer my call! I've been on hold for almost half an hour!"
*I look over at the very accurate call timer*
Me - "Okay ma'am, I've got it saying you've been on hold for just under 3 minutes...how can I help you today?"
Stupid Customer - "Well your computers are broken the because I've been on hold for almost an hour, this is ridiculous!"
*An hour? Wasn't it just half an hour?Already my eyes are about to roll out of my head, I'm rolling them so much right now...*
Me - "That's very unusal ma'am, aside form the previous call I was on, there was actually no-body else calling our lines for the 20 minutes or so prior to that, so I'm not quite sure how you ended up on hold for such a lengthy period of time? In any case, now that you're gotten through, how could I help you today?"
Stupid Customer - "I spoke to a girl there earlier today and she toldme I would have my rebate paid into my account immediately! Well, I'm looking at my account online as we speak, and the money isn't there, so get her back on the phone so she can explain herself and get this sorted out right away!"
*I take down her details, bring up her policy, read through all the notes...*
Me - "Okay ma'am, so I can see that you had called in earlier today regarding a claim you had sent us for dental work that wehad sent back declined?"
Stupid Customer - "That's the one! You people made a horrible mistake there, so I called in and let you know how imcompetent you all are, and the girl I spoke to apologised and said she will make the money would be in my account by this afternoon, and she was also going to make sure I was gievn $150 extra as compensation for you guys stuffing up"
Me - "Okay. Well ma'am, we do make notes of every conversation. the notes of your policy state that you called in this morning disputing the declined dental claim. You were advised that the reason the claim was not paid was because you do not hold any dental cover. The notes indicate that you that swore at and abused the agent you were speaking with. She notes that she asked you to stop wearing at you, you continued to do so, so she terminated the call. And that's the only note on the policy from today"
Stupid Customer - "Nar, that's bullsh*t, she's lying! She told me that I was 100% covered for dental and that you guys had stuffed up so she would get the money in my account today and also give me $500 compensation"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, but that is not is noted on your policy. Furthermore, we would never advise that payment would be in someones bank account that same day as payment always takes several working days. In addition, we dio not have any facility to offer cash compensation? In any case, you've changed your version of events several times while we've been talking..."
Stupid Customer - "That's all bullsh*t! She told me all of this, she is just lying to you!"
*NOTE - the person she spoke with is a friend of mine and sits close by me. She also had no patience for lying idiots like this lady...*
Me - "Okay ma'am, well I mean, the person you spoke with actually sits quite close to where my desk is, and I can see she is there right now. I can trasnfer the call toher if you like and I'm sure she would be more than happy to discuss your version of events with her?"
Stupid Customer - "Huh? Nar, nar she will just lie again! Nar, I wanna speak to a manager!"
Me - "Okay ma'am, no a problem. I'll refer this to a manager for you"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah, yeah good, refer it now 'cause I need the money today okay?"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, as mentioned we have no facility for same day bank desposits. In addition, the manager will need to bring up and listen to the call you had this morning to verify what was said before they can proceed"
Stupid Customer - "What? Nar, they don't need to verify anything! Just pass it to a manager and get me my money today okay!"
Me - "Sorry ma'am, you're making an accusation that one of our staff members gave you false information over the phone, and then falsified the notes on your account. Both are quite serious, so a manager will need to review this thoroughly"
Stupid Customer - "I don't want the call listened to, just make them pay me the money today!"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, the call will definetely need to be listened to"
Stupid Customer - *CLICK*
And so, for the millionth time, Ionce again make the comment that I DONT KNOW WHY PEOPLE MAKE THIS SH*T UP!
It tellls you straight up when you call us that the calls are recorded! What, do you think we have a message like that playing just for the sheer fun of it, huh?
Dumbsh*ts
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