Stupid Customer - "Yeah hi, so I need a statement showing all of my payments from last year"

Me - "Sure no problems, I'll get that organised for you today"

Stupid Customer - "Cool. And how soon before I get the money?"

Me - "The...money? Oh ok, sorry, I thought you were asking for a statement showing all the payments you made from last year?"

Stupid Customer - *SIGH* "NO! I asked you to refund everythign I've paid. I decided to don't want the poilcy anymore"

Me - "Um...ok. I must ahve misundertsood what you said. In any case, we can backdate a cancelltion requst one month, max. So you can get the last mnths worth refunded. We need the cancellation request in writing"

Stupid Customer - "What?! Are you stupid! I just said to give me ALL my money back, and I never said I want to cancel the policy!"

Me - "Ok. You just said you didn't want the policy anymore, but alright then. Well you can only get a refund if you cancel. And you can only backdate a cancellation 1 mth. You have been a member for 8 years..."

*Interrupting me*

Stupid Customer - "GOD, I KNOW I've been a member for 8 years, are you deaf or just stupid?! Give me back everything I paid you people for the last 8 years and keep my policy open"

Me - "Riiiiiiiiiiight............"