I've been at work for only ONE HOUR and already I have been BOMBARDED with the most ass-backwards, god-damn dumbass stupid people you can imagine.

Me - "Ok, I will email that to you right now, you shoudl have it in your inbox in about a minute"

Stupid Customer - "OMG! Did you just say this is going to take an hour?!"

Me - "Um...no. I said it will take one minute"

Stupid Customer - "WHY is it going to take 3 hours to send a simple email?"

Me - "What, 3 hours?! I said one minute. ONE MINUTE"

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Me - "Okay, the code you are after is 1564"

Stupid Customer - "Ok so that was 7893102...."

Me - "No no no, sorry... it is 1...5...6...4"

Stupid Customer - "8400912...."

Me - "No, I'm sorry. It is 1...5...6...4"

Stupid Customer - "Ok, how do you spell that?"

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Me - "Thanks for calling Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"

Stupid Customer - "Oh, um, hi, is this health Insurance Inc?"

Me - "It sure is, hi, how can I help you?"

Stupid Customer - "Um... I'm not sure"

***silence***

Me - "Did you have a policy with us?"

Stupid Csutomer - "Yes"

Me - "Ok, what was your membership number?"

Stupid Customer - "John Brown"

Me - "Ok, that's a name, but could I please get your membership NUMBER?"

Stupid Customer - "Oh, um, I was never given one. I lost it. And now I can't remember it. So can you help me or what?"