Me - "Welcome to ...."

*interrupting me*

Stupid Customer - "Put me through to Sarah"

Me - "Okaaay... were you a member with us? Were you returning a call? Was this a personal call?"

Stupid Customer - "I spoke to her yesterday. My name is Pamela. She knows all about it. She said she would call me at exactly 9.30am today and she HASNT. And I KNOW she is there. So put me through RIGHT NOW!"

Me - "I sit opposite her, she called in sick. Is there anything I can help with?"

Stupid Customer - "I KNOW she is there, she said she woudl call me at EXACTLY 9.30am so put me THROUGH!"

Me - "I'm sure she did promise to call you but I assure you, her desk is empty. She called in sick. She is not at work today. If you ahve your membership #, I should be able to view her notes and help form there if you like? We are in the same department so we have access to the exact same notes"

Stupid Customer - "NO, I will NOT give you my membership #! Me name is Pamela, she knwos all about me. Who is your manager on today? Go get them right now!"

Me - "I'm sorry, I can certainly ask for one of them to call you back but they don't take direct calls i can pass your details through if you like and ask one of them to call you right back?"

Stupid Customer - "My name is Pamela! You can go and FIND my details, okay? And tell them I DEMAND a call in an hour, after that I am going to bed!"

Me - "I can guarantee I will pass your message through. I give no guarantee of a call back at a certain time,and seeing as you refuse to give me ANY information other than your first name, I give no guarantee of a call back at all, if they are unable to locate your details in our system, they will not be able to return your call"

Stupid Customer - "My number is XXXXXX [rattles of a number at a million miles an hour, giving me no time to write anything at all] you WILL have a manager call me!"

Me - "Sorry as mentioned I do not guarantee that. Could you please repeat the number slowly for me so I have a chance to write it down"

Stupid Customer - "No, you should learn to listen. My name is Pamela. Find me on the system yourself and get a manager to call me back"

*CLICK*

And did Miss Fucknut get a call back?
Of course not.
Because we have NO FUCKING CLUE who she is!

What do morons like that think they are going to achieve?
You give us NO oppotunity or way to actually call you back, so what is it that you want?

If you're just crazy and want to have a whinge, that's great, but maybe go and drive dodgem cars or something to let it all out, because you just waste 5 mins of my life, ho