Me - "Ok, and what was your policy number?"

Stupid Customer - "182939"

Me - "Hmmm, I'm not getting a match under that. Are you sure that was it?"

Stupid Customer - "Yes! Oh no, wait...hang on...*comes back about a minute later*...okay try this one...029993828"

Me - "Nope no match on that either. I can just bring it up using your name if you like, or did you have your membership card there with your number on it?"

Stupid Customer - "Try this one. 938827482"

Me - "Nope. I can just use your name if you don't have your number?"

Stupid Customer - "Hahahahahahahaha oh I am so silly! Deary me! Ok it must be 300492749"

Me - "No. What was your name?"

Stupid Customer - "Oh dear! Hahahahahaha. Oh isn't this funny, I'm so silly! I should have had all of this ready before I called shouldn't I? Hahahahahahahahaha. Do you want me to go and find my card?"

Me - "Yes it's best to have this ready when you call. And yes if you have your card there that will ahve the right member number on it, that would be great thanks"

Stupid Customer - "Ok, I'll just get it. Oh no, oh deary me! I think I've lost the card now! Hahahahahaha oh aren't I so silly! Can you hold on while I drive back to work to see if I left it there?"

Me - "I....um...sorry? Ah, no, no I'm sorry but you will need to call back once you have the correct number with you. We will chat again then."