Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"

Stupid Customer - "Yeah, hi. So I was just calling 'cause my think wont work"

Me - "Okay, I'll just bring up your details to start with if I can"

*I bring up his policy...nothing looks to be out of the ordinary*

Me - "Okay, thanks for that sir, I've got your policy here on my screen. How could I help today, you were saying something wasn't working?"

Stupid Customer - "Um yeah, yeah the thing is just, like, not going in all the way and I like tried to get it in but then it almost snapped and so I was worried I would break it off so then I stopped"

Me, trying oh-so-hard to get the many dick jokes now swirling in my mind out of my head - "Okay sir. Well, you've called through to Health Insurance Inc, was this is a policy issue? I'll just need you to be a bit more specific if you can please sir..."

Stupid Customer - "Yeah, like, I got it from you and then when i try and put in inwards then it almost snaps but it wont go in , I don't wanna break it"

Me - "Okay, and what is it specifically that you are referring to?"

Stupid Customer - "*SIGH* my glasses! The arm on my glasses wont bend all the way in and every time I try and push it hard it almost breaks off!"

Me - "Okay sir, okay, it's the glasses we're talking about, okay... well I can see that those glasses we're bought from *local optometrist*, if they are in any way faulty or require repair you'll just need to take them back to the store you bought them from and they should be fine to assist you from there"

Stupid Customer - "What? NO! I bought them from you guys, you guys have to help me!"

Me - "No sir, you claimed a reabte on them through the health fund but you actually purchased the glasses themselves at that optical store"

Stupid Customer - "Yeah, like I got them from that store but you people paid money towards them so it's your fault if they're broken!"

Me - "I'm sorry sir, we simply contribute your eligible rebate but beyodn that we are in no involved in the actual purchase or follow-up stages on the transaction. You will need to take the glasses back to the store to enquire about a repair"

Stupid Customer - "But that place is like 15 minutes away! God, you guys are , like, really useless, you know that?"... *CLICK*