This happened at my previous job. my team leader had been listening in on the call as we were doing coaching, adn was writing notes to me as to how I shoudl handle the call , and how I should respond etc.
one of the few times I thought he was awesome :D

Stupid Customer - "I don't have private hospital cover with you, can I get quotes for that?

Me - "Sure" ***I give all the quotes*** "And I do need to mention if you add private hospital cover there are waiting periods. The main one is 6 months* for all pre-existing medical conditions"

Stupid Customer - "Ok yep that's fine. The Dr has my son booked into an operation next week, can you add the private cover now so that will be covered?"

Me - "Oh no, sorry, that's what I was just saying. There is a 6 mth waiting period for anything pre-existing"

Stupid Customer - ***Suddenly fires up, literally screaming*** "Well what if I just make it up and say it's not pre-existing, huh?"

Me - "Ah... well that isn't up to you at all, sorry, Dr's fill in forms and they decide that. And this is obviously an exisitng condition anyway, I mean, he is already booked in"

Stupid customer - ***Still yelling and screaming like a b*tch on fire**** "Well we have been members for years! You are discriminating against my little son! I'm going to cancel this whole policy and move us to another fund who is good! I'm also going to wait for you outside your workplace and f**k you up, you b*tch!"

Me - ***completely calmly*** "Firstly ma'am I'm sorry but you yourself cannot cancel this whole policy. The policy doesn't belong to you. It is under your husband's name. Secondly, the pre-existing ruling is the exact same for every single health fund. It is an industry rule. So you're welcome to move yourself to another fund if you want, but I think you'll find that it's the exact same with every other fund. Also if you move funds you will lose all loyalty limits and may have to serve or reserve waiting periods"

Stupid Customer - "I don't care, I want to move us all to another fund! I'm doing that today, cancel me, cancel right now, you guys suck! I'm gunna f**k you up!"

Me - "Yeah, as mentioned ma'am the rules are the exact same between all funds but you're welcome to give it a shot. Also as mentioned you aren't authorised to cancel the rest of your family, but you can certainly remove just yourself. So, as per your request, I've just sent through for your own name to be taken off this policy as of today, we will send you a clearance certificate that you can present to other funds if need be. We will contact your husband to advise him of your request to cease cover for the whole family and to get his permission for this if that's what he wants. Now, is there anything else I can help with today?"

Stupid Customer - "What? What do you mean you've removed me?"

Me - "You said you wanted to be taken off the policy today, so I've completed your request. Is there anything else I can help with today"

Stupid Customer - "But I've got a dentist appointment in a few weeks!"

Me - "Okay, you will need to check with whichever new fund you go to see if they will cover you for that then. As mentioned, we will send a clearance certificate"

Stupid customer - "Um, can you just add me back?"

Me - "Sure, if that's what you want. We will send a letter confimring you have been reinstated, your waiting periods restart from today's date"

Stupid customer - "But...no, what? I didn't mean it! I was just yelling at you!"

Me - "And I was just actioing your request. You will receive confirmation of your reactivation and an outline of the waiting periods you have to reserve within 5-10 working days. Now, was there anything else I can help with?"

Hehehehe
I could NEVER get away with that at my current job.
But just goes to show - what goes around comes around.
If you're rude to other then, well...what do you expect!


*NOTE - I've changed the timeframe for what the waiting period really is for the purpose of anomynity