1st post!!!

Alot of my initial posts will be from conversations that took place when I worked at my previous job. This is because when I worked there, a single day did not go by where I didn't encounter a customer who was either completely ass-shat stupid, or so rude that all you can do is sit there with raised eyebrows and say a silent 'thank you' that they aren't someone you personally know. Because that would just be embaressing.

Me - "Thanks for calling Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"

Stupid Customer - "Yeah, is this Health Insurance Inc?"

Me - "Yes, how can I help today?"

Stupid Customer - "I need to get through to Health Insurance Inc..."

Me - "Ah...yep, that's where you've called. This is Health Insurance Inc. How can I help you?"

***silence***

Me - "Hello? Are you still there?"

Stupid Customer - "Ah, yeah. Is this Health Insurance Inc?"

Me - "Yes. Yes it is. Do you have a policy with us? How may I help you?"

Stupid Customer - "GOD! Look I just want someone to tell me why you didn't pay my claim, is that so f**king hard?!"

This guy was pretty same the same the whole rest of the call. Almost as if his brain kept cutting out on itself. I have to admit that it did feel pretty good telling him that his claim had been knocked back as he wasn't covered for that particular service. Heh  :D

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It still amazes me the amount of people who think that telling a blatant lie will get a claim paid/get something done quicker/etc etc...

Stupid Customer - "Yeah listen, you better help me or there's going to be trouble, right? You people are hopeless. I sent in a claim 3 weeks ago and I've heard nothing back. What kind of service is that, huh?And I've wasted my own time and money calling you people over and over, I've called about 5 times, right?And no-one can tell me a damn thing! I either get put on hold or one of you people hang upon me!"

Me - "People hang up on you? That doesn't sound right at all... I'm just bringing up your policy as we speak, this all sounds very strange..."

Stupid Customer - "Yeah it does sound strange doesn't it! I'm thinking about moving to another fund you know, I'm sure THEY wouldn't hang up on their customers!"

Me - "Ok. So just to confirm, this is for your optical claim?"

Stupid Customer - "YES! I'm surprised you were even able to find it given how USELESS you people are!"

Me - "Ok. And again just to confirm, you say you sent it to us about 3 weeks ago, and since then people have either put you on hold or hung up on you?"

Stupid Customer - "YES! God can you just hurry up and get it sorted, right? I've waited long enough, I should go to another fund you know, you people are so useless"

Me - "Ok. Well I've got it noted here that you only sent this in 4 days ago. And every day since then you have called us several times. And every time you've been told that you need to send us an actual  receipt if you want to make a claim, and also a claim form. You've sent us a piece of paper that you've hand written on. It says 'I bought glasses on the 3rd of December. Please pay the money into this bank account'. And, um...that's it"

Stupid Customer - "Right! So where's my money?"

Me - "Yeah I'm really sorry but as you've been told over and over, we can't pay a claim unless you provide an actual receipt and submit that with a claim form. We don't pay on hand written notes."

Stupid Customer - "You people are F**KING USELESS you know!"

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Most people who call a wrong number tend to be cool about it. You normally get the usual 'whoops, sorry about that! Thanks!'...but every now and then you get a crazy on the line...

Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"


Stupid Customer - "Yeah I got a notice my power was going to be cut, I've been out of work for a few weeks and have been having a bit of trouble, but you people don't hesitate do you?!"

Me - "Ah, sorry, this is Health Insurance Inc.You've called the wrong company. Sorry about that"

Stupid Customer - "What? I just want to work out a payment plan ok!"

Me - "Ok, but you've called the wrong company, sorry"

Stupid Customer - "So you're saying you can't help me?!"

Me - "Unfortunately not, you've called the wrong company"

Stupid Customer - "You people are f**king useless!"

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Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?

Stupid Customer - "Hi, I'm just calling 'cause I've got an operation coming up and  I want to check if I'm covered. I'm on Gold Cover Plus Extras"

Me - "Oh ok, you've actually called the wrong company, this is Health Insurance Inc but that product belongs to Our Competitor Inc. Sorry about that."

***silence***

Me - "Okaaaay.... so was there else I could help you with?"

Stupid Customer - "So...are you going to tell me if I'll be covered or what?!"

Me - "Oh, oh no sorry, what I was saying is that you've called the wrong company. You need to call Our Competitor Inc"

Stupid Customer -***SIGH***

***silence***

Me - "Ah...okay, so, you just need to give them a call and they should be able to help you"

Stupid Customer - "Are you going to transfer me now?"

Me - "Oh, um no sorry I can't do that, I can't dial out"

Stupid Customer - ***SIGH***

***silence***

Me - "Ok so you need to hang up the phone and call them, okay?"

Stupid Customer - ***SIGH*** "What's their number?"

Me - "Sorry I don't know their number"

Stupid Customer - "WHAT?!"

Me - "I said don't know their number..."

Stupid Customer - "Well look it up, god, you're all part of the same company anyway so you should know their number! ***SIGH*** God this is ridiculous..."

Me - "Yeah sorry but we're completely separate companies. I know a few of the products of the other companies but I haven't been able to memorize the phone number for every company in the country yet, sorry"

That was one thing that I did like about my previous manager. He let us talk like that to the really moronic customers  :D

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Again with the lying... I have no idea why but it's as thought people think that we wont actually listen to the calls? As if they can say "Oh no I was told this" and we're just going to stop the presses and be all "Oh you were TOLD that...well if you say so, of course, we will do anything you say. Just because you say so. WE don't need proof..."

Der people...

Me - "Ok so I can see here that you only joined us a month ago, and you haven't held any previous insurance at all. If you're currently pregnant - and due in a few weeks - I'm sorry but you wont be covered for anything. There is a 12 month waiting period for pregnancy so you are well within that waiting period"

Stupid Customer - "What?! I was NEVER informed about this waiting period! I'm already booked into a private hospital, this is all your people's fault. You better go get this sorted right now 'cause I was NEVER told about this waiting period, I was told I would be 100% covered! It's not my fault you people gave the wrong information so you better go get a manager and get this sorted NOW!"

Me - "Ok... there are very clear notes here that when you we're enquiring in the first instance, you asked about pregnancy, specifically. We advised you then of the 12 mth waiting period. You then joined a week later and you asked the same question, and you were given the same answer. I've just brought up your application as well and you have ticked the box that says you understand the 12 mth waiting period for pre-existing conditions and pregnancy."

Stupid Customer - "WHAT?! NO, I was NEVER told about the waiting period, and that was NOT on the application!"

Me - "Ok. In this instance I'll have to refer your policy through to a manager..."

***interrupting and talking over me***

Stupid Customer - "Yeah you better 'cause I was never told any of this and you people are f**king incompetent!"

Me - "Ok. So as I was saying, I'm referring this through to a manager as you're saying that 2 staff member here have basically written down false notes, and you're saying that a fraudulent application has been submitted. Those two calls will be listened to, and a manager will call you back."

Stupid Customer - "Huh? No I don't want no calls listened to...you people told me the wrong thing so you need to go get a supervisor and tick the box on my policy so I'm covered! It's not my fault you people stuffed up!"

Me - "We can definetely look into this for you but the calls will have to be listened to..."

***interrupting me again***

Stupid Customer - "I don't have time for calls to be listened to..."

Me - "Oh no it's ok, it's not a long process, this will all be done by this afternoon ***big grin***"

Stupid Customer - "Just tick the f**king box!"

Me - "Box? Sorry what boxes are you referring to? This is a health insurance company?"

Stupid Customer - "Tick the box to make me covered, you b*tch!"

Me - "Sorry, I don't know what boxes you mean. This is Health Insurance Inc. Anyway, I've just referred your policy through on my end. A manager will call you back this afternoon to discuss the phone calls"

Stupid Customer - ***now screaming*** "You're a f**king b*tch you know that! I'm gunna come down there and smash you in the face, you f**ing s*ut! Tick the f**king box, I don't care about your f**king rules! F**k you b*tch!"

Me - "Ok. So in the meantime was there anything else I can help you with?"

***CLICK*** as she hangs up

And or course...both calls revealed she was told about the 12 mth waiting period for pregnancy. Just another crazy ho stupid enough to think that she could just open her mouth and we would just do whatever she said.
People - this is health insurance. It's not like you've gone to a take-away shop and don't like your burger, so you run back in and whinge "OMG there is a hair in my burger! Gimme a different one!"

Use your brains, please.