Ok. So I am absolutely aware that health insurance is complicated and can be difficult to understand. If you have upcoming surgery and are a little confused as to what you can claim, how you go about claiming - no dramas! I am more than happy to sit here and talk you through it, even if it takes me all day. Really. I don't mind.
But here is what NOT to do if you need my help with this. This will guarantee that you pi*s me off reaaaaal quick, and that willingness to help you will dissapear real fast...
Stupid Customer - "Yeah hi, I'm getting my leg operated on next week and I wanna know what's covered"
Me - "Sure, I can help you with that :). May I please get your membership number to start with?"
Stupid Customer - "Don't have it"
Me - "Ok, no problems, may I please get your name and..."
*interupts me*
Stupid Customer - "Brian"
Me - "Okay. And your surname and date of..."
*interupts me again*
Stupid Customer - "Davies"
Me - "Thanks. And your date of birth please Brian"
Stupid Customer - *SIGH* "01/04/1964!"
Me - "Thanks for that. Ok, I've got your policy here now. It looks like you have a few restrictions on your policy, so to work out what your cover for this surgery will be, could I please get the medical item numbers for the surgery from you and I'll run a check on the system?"
Stupid Customer - "What's an item number"
Me - "Oh. It's the number we use to idnetify the surgery you're getting done. If you don't recall it offhand, it would be listed on your admission papers, on really, any of the documents the hospital and DRs have given you"
Stupid Customers - "There's no item numbers. So what's my cover"
Me - "I'm sorry, but if there are no item numbers, then that is a not a service you can claim on. Every eligible surgery will have item numbers"
Stupid Customer - "The hospital told me I'll be covered"
Me - "Okay. Well if you are going into hospital for the surgery, then there will definetely be item numbers. That's ok, if you can't locate them right now, I can give do a search with the surgery description. What type of operation will you be getting done?"
Stupid Customer - "My leg"
Me - "Yes, but what exactly are you getting done to your leg?"
Stupid Customer - "An operation"
Me - *eye twitch* "Yes sir. What TYPE of operation?"
Stupid Customer - "Dunno. So what's my cover?"
Me - "Okay. It might be better if I call the hospital myself and just grab the item numbers from them. Which hospital were you going to for the operation?"
Stupid Customer - "Dunno"
Me - "You don't know which hospital you;re going to to get surgery done at?"
Stupid Customer - "Nuh"
Me - "Okay. Well, I'm really sorry sir, but without item numbers, the type of surgery, or even the hospital you're being admitted to, I wont be able to check anything for you today. If you could please pbtain even one piece of this information and call back, we can certainly assist you"
Stupid Customer - "So what, you're not gonna help me?!"
Me - "I want to help you, sir, but with no information to work with, I'm simply to"
Stupid Customer - "Thanks for nothing then ya dumb b*tch"
*CLICK*
Ah-huh.
I'M the one whose dumb.
Yep *whistles*
Thursday, 29 September 2011
One of the things that I get every single day - and which drives me crazy - are the dumba*s customers who call in, have no effing clue what they want or are on about, and ummm and ahhh through the whole call, full of awkward silences.
I have been at work about an hour and I have had this happen on 7 calls already. 7. That has got to be a record.
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how may I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Ummm, yeah...uhhh...I need to...uhhh...can I just check...ummm....I have a policy and I want to, ahhh...my glasses, like, uhhhh, ummmmm"
Me - *thinking, oh for fu*k sake, get your sh*t together before you call!!* "dDid you want me to see how much you have left to claim for glasses ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "Ummmm, yeah, ah-huh"
Me - "Sure, no problems. You have $100 left to claim on glasses"
Stupid Customer - "Ohhhhh....ummmm....yeah...."
Me - "Okaaaay. And was there anything else I can help with today?"
Stupid Customer - "..........."
Me - "Ma'am? Was there anything else I can help with today?"
Stupid Customer - "Ummmm.....ahhhhhh......."
Me - ".................."
Stupid Customer - ".................."
Me - "Okay then, nothing else I can do for you then?"
Stupid Customer - "Ummmm....ahhhhhh....ahhhhhh"
Me - "........."
Stupid Customer - ".........."
Me - "Okay, well thanks for calling in today"
Stupid Customer - "WAIIIIT wait wait wait, I got a question!!"
FML
I have been at work about an hour and I have had this happen on 7 calls already. 7. That has got to be a record.
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how may I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Ummm, yeah...uhhh...I need to...uhhh...can I just check...ummm....I have a policy and I want to, ahhh...my glasses, like, uhhhh, ummmmm"
Me - *thinking, oh for fu*k sake, get your sh*t together before you call!!* "dDid you want me to see how much you have left to claim for glasses ma'am?"
Stupid Customer - "Ummmm, yeah, ah-huh"
Me - "Sure, no problems. You have $100 left to claim on glasses"
Stupid Customer - "Ohhhhh....ummmm....yeah...."
Me - "Okaaaay. And was there anything else I can help with today?"
Stupid Customer - "..........."
Me - "Ma'am? Was there anything else I can help with today?"
Stupid Customer - "Ummmm.....ahhhhhh......."
Me - ".................."
Stupid Customer - ".................."
Me - "Okay then, nothing else I can do for you then?"
Stupid Customer - "Ummmm....ahhhhhh....ahhhhhh"
Me - "........."
Stupid Customer - ".........."
Me - "Okay, well thanks for calling in today"
Stupid Customer - "WAIIIIT wait wait wait, I got a question!!"
FML
Wednesday, 28 September 2011
One of the times when I can say I am glad I work for a company that allows us to not take cr*p from abusive d*ckheads
Passive agressive on my part - maybe ;)
But I figure this moron deserved all he got. Such a potty mouth, tsk tsk
Stupid Customer - *SCREEEEAMING* "You f*cking people knocked back my hospital claim, I'm SICK to death of your f*cking company f*cking everything up, you're f*cked! EVERY single time I make a f*cking claim you knock it back, I've had enough!"
Me - "Okay, let me bring up your policy and have a look. Okay. I can see we declined your hospital claim as you called and added hospital cover the day before you had your operation. We informed you when you called and did this that you would have a 12 month wait to serve out before you could claim on anything, and that if you went ahead with this operation the day after, you would not be able to claim anything back from the fund..."
*interrupting me*
Stupid Customer - "NO, this is f*cking bullsh*t, you hear me! NO! EVERY SINGLE TIME I make a claim you f*ckers knock it back! I've been a member for years and the one time I need to go to hospital, you don't pay anything! This is a f*cking joke, you better go get your manager missy otherwise there's gonna be f*cking trouble, you hear me?"
Me - "Okay. Firstly, you've been a member for about 3 years. That is not what we class as long term membership. During this time, you have only ever held - and paid for - dental cover. Nothing else. We informed you if you added hospital cover, you had a 12 mth wait to serve, and anything during that period, tou would get nothing back for. If you chose to go ahead with this operation, that is your own choice. But we advised you beforehand you would get nothing back...."
*interrupting me again*
Stupid Customer - "F*ck you you little b*tch! I've been a member for years and the one time I go to claim you f*cking as*holes pay nothing back, I pay you f*ckers good money and you pay me nothing back!"
Me - "Right sir, we pay nothing back if you are not eligible at that time. And we advised you that you would not be eligible, yet you had the surgery anyway. That was your choice, you were aware it was not claimable. You added hospital cover the very day before getting a $30,000 surgery done and expected us to pay the entire bill. We informed you nothing would be paid, yet you went ahead with the surgery anyway. That was your choice, sir, but you were aware you would not be able to claim anything back."
Stupid Customer - "Get me a f*cking manager right now, I'll be getting my money paid TODAY, you hear me you f*cking b*tch!"
Me - "I'm sorry sir, our managers do no take calls if the information they are going to provide is the exact same as you have just been advised of. You are not able to claim on this surgery."
Stupid Customer - "If you don't get me a f*cking manager right now, I'll be down there within the hour to f*ck you up, you hear!"
Me - "Sir, these calls are recorded"
Stupid Customer - "I hope they f*cking are! You c*nts pay NOTHING! I hope you record this and tell all your bosses that you c*nts pay nothing and I'm gonna f*ck you all up!"
Me - "Sure, I'll made sure your comments are noted on your file. Was there anything else I can help you with today sir?"
Stupid Customer - "WHAT?! You f*cking idiots owe me money and I demand it TODAY!"
Me - "Okay. Did you submit another claim with the hospital one? Which service what the other one for?"
Stupid Customer - "What, no! What the f*ck, you b*tches are paying on my surgery right, or else there will be trouble!"
Me - "Oh okay, I thought you were referring to another claim when you said we owe you money. Because as advised, you're not entitled to anything on this particular surgery. If that was the only claim submitted, then was there anything else I can help you with today before I close your policy?
Stupid Customer - "Oh f*ck you you b*tch"
*CLICK*
Passive agressive on my part - maybe ;)
But I figure this moron deserved all he got. Such a potty mouth, tsk tsk
Stupid Customer - *SCREEEEAMING* "You f*cking people knocked back my hospital claim, I'm SICK to death of your f*cking company f*cking everything up, you're f*cked! EVERY single time I make a f*cking claim you knock it back, I've had enough!"
Me - "Okay, let me bring up your policy and have a look. Okay. I can see we declined your hospital claim as you called and added hospital cover the day before you had your operation. We informed you when you called and did this that you would have a 12 month wait to serve out before you could claim on anything, and that if you went ahead with this operation the day after, you would not be able to claim anything back from the fund..."
*interrupting me*
Stupid Customer - "NO, this is f*cking bullsh*t, you hear me! NO! EVERY SINGLE TIME I make a claim you f*ckers knock it back! I've been a member for years and the one time I need to go to hospital, you don't pay anything! This is a f*cking joke, you better go get your manager missy otherwise there's gonna be f*cking trouble, you hear me?"
Me - "Okay. Firstly, you've been a member for about 3 years. That is not what we class as long term membership. During this time, you have only ever held - and paid for - dental cover. Nothing else. We informed you if you added hospital cover, you had a 12 mth wait to serve, and anything during that period, tou would get nothing back for. If you chose to go ahead with this operation, that is your own choice. But we advised you beforehand you would get nothing back...."
*interrupting me again*
Stupid Customer - "F*ck you you little b*tch! I've been a member for years and the one time I go to claim you f*cking as*holes pay nothing back, I pay you f*ckers good money and you pay me nothing back!"
Me - "Right sir, we pay nothing back if you are not eligible at that time. And we advised you that you would not be eligible, yet you had the surgery anyway. That was your choice, you were aware it was not claimable. You added hospital cover the very day before getting a $30,000 surgery done and expected us to pay the entire bill. We informed you nothing would be paid, yet you went ahead with the surgery anyway. That was your choice, sir, but you were aware you would not be able to claim anything back."
Stupid Customer - "Get me a f*cking manager right now, I'll be getting my money paid TODAY, you hear me you f*cking b*tch!"
Me - "I'm sorry sir, our managers do no take calls if the information they are going to provide is the exact same as you have just been advised of. You are not able to claim on this surgery."
Stupid Customer - "If you don't get me a f*cking manager right now, I'll be down there within the hour to f*ck you up, you hear!"
Me - "Sir, these calls are recorded"
Stupid Customer - "I hope they f*cking are! You c*nts pay NOTHING! I hope you record this and tell all your bosses that you c*nts pay nothing and I'm gonna f*ck you all up!"
Me - "Sure, I'll made sure your comments are noted on your file. Was there anything else I can help you with today sir?"
Stupid Customer - "WHAT?! You f*cking idiots owe me money and I demand it TODAY!"
Me - "Okay. Did you submit another claim with the hospital one? Which service what the other one for?"
Stupid Customer - "What, no! What the f*ck, you b*tches are paying on my surgery right, or else there will be trouble!"
Me - "Oh okay, I thought you were referring to another claim when you said we owe you money. Because as advised, you're not entitled to anything on this particular surgery. If that was the only claim submitted, then was there anything else I can help you with today before I close your policy?
Stupid Customer - "Oh f*ck you you b*tch"
*CLICK*
Stupid Customer - "I got a letter from you people saying you won't pay my ambulance claim because I'm not covered for ambulance?"
Me - "That's right sir. Looking at your policy, I can see that when you took out your policy with us last year, you ticked the box opting out of ambulance cover."
Stupid Customer - "So why didn't you people pay my claim?"
Me - "Because you are not covered for ambulance, sir. I can also see that you've called to check your level of cover a few times since taking the policy out - each time we advised you were not covered for ambulance, and each time you advised us yes, that was correct, you did not want ambulance cover"
Stupid Customer - "But WHY DIDN'T YOU PAY MY AMBULANCE BILL?!"
Me - "Well, because, you can only claim on services that you are actually covered for, sir"
Stupid Customer - "This makes no sense! I pay you people alot of money for my cover and you always try and weasle out of paying anything back, it's a bloody joke!"
Me - "Okay. But you can only claim on a service that you are actually covered for sir. You chose not to include cover for ambulance. You have never paid a cent for ambulance cover. With all due respect sir, I am not quite sure how else to explain the situation. You simply cannot claim on a service for which you are not covered. And you made it very clear, on numerous occassions, that you wished to NOT be covered for ambulance"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah I know that! What does that have to do with you people not paying my bloody ambulance bill? All you people do is take our money and give nothing back! You guys are scam artists you know, bloody scam artists!"
Me - "Okay. Again I'm not sure how else to explain it sir..."
*interrupting me*
Stupid Customer - "Yeah you people are bloody scam artists you here"
*CLICK*
5 minutes later, I overhear...
Colleague - "No sir, you cannot claim that ambulance bill, because you're not coverd for ambulance.....okay....ah-huh....okay....okay well sir, you've just told me you know you don't hold any ambulance cover, and yet you are demanding to know why we did not pay your ambulance bill...ah-huh...okay...oka-.....hey, that guy just hung up on me!"
And then, a few minutes after that..
Other colleague - "No sir, I'm sorry but a manager will not be able to speak to you regarding your declined ambulance claim. By your own admission, you are aware you do not hold ambulance cover, so I am not sure why you are upset and surprised that we did not pay your ambulance bill.....okay...okay...sir if yout threaten me again I will terminate the call...okay...okay...sir...sir, again, a manager will not be able to assist you further....okay..okay, well you have a good day then"
That idiot called in 3 more times that day, arguing the same thing.
Me - "That's right sir. Looking at your policy, I can see that when you took out your policy with us last year, you ticked the box opting out of ambulance cover."
Stupid Customer - "So why didn't you people pay my claim?"
Me - "Because you are not covered for ambulance, sir. I can also see that you've called to check your level of cover a few times since taking the policy out - each time we advised you were not covered for ambulance, and each time you advised us yes, that was correct, you did not want ambulance cover"
Stupid Customer - "But WHY DIDN'T YOU PAY MY AMBULANCE BILL?!"
Me - "Well, because, you can only claim on services that you are actually covered for, sir"
Stupid Customer - "This makes no sense! I pay you people alot of money for my cover and you always try and weasle out of paying anything back, it's a bloody joke!"
Me - "Okay. But you can only claim on a service that you are actually covered for sir. You chose not to include cover for ambulance. You have never paid a cent for ambulance cover. With all due respect sir, I am not quite sure how else to explain the situation. You simply cannot claim on a service for which you are not covered. And you made it very clear, on numerous occassions, that you wished to NOT be covered for ambulance"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah I know that! What does that have to do with you people not paying my bloody ambulance bill? All you people do is take our money and give nothing back! You guys are scam artists you know, bloody scam artists!"
Me - "Okay. Again I'm not sure how else to explain it sir..."
*interrupting me*
Stupid Customer - "Yeah you people are bloody scam artists you here"
*CLICK*
5 minutes later, I overhear...
Colleague - "No sir, you cannot claim that ambulance bill, because you're not coverd for ambulance.....okay....ah-huh....okay....okay well sir, you've just told me you know you don't hold any ambulance cover, and yet you are demanding to know why we did not pay your ambulance bill...ah-huh...okay...oka-.....hey, that guy just hung up on me!"
And then, a few minutes after that..
Other colleague - "No sir, I'm sorry but a manager will not be able to speak to you regarding your declined ambulance claim. By your own admission, you are aware you do not hold ambulance cover, so I am not sure why you are upset and surprised that we did not pay your ambulance bill.....okay...okay...sir if yout threaten me again I will terminate the call...okay...okay...sir...sir, again, a manager will not be able to assist you further....okay..okay, well you have a good day then"
That idiot called in 3 more times that day, arguing the same thing.
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how may I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yes, could you please transfer me to Arnold?"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, there is no-one here with that name. You've called Health Insurance Inc."
Stupid Customer - "Yes. Arnold please"
Me - "Oh okay, sorry, that's what I was saying, we do not have any employee here with that name"
Stupid Customer - "........"
Me - ".........."
Stupid Customer - "So...what do I do?"
Me - "I'm not sure I understand ma'am. You have called a wrong number"
Stupid Customer - "Well, I just need to speak to Arnold"
Me - "I understand ma'am. I'm sorry, but since we have no Arnold here - and never have as long as I have worked here, which is quite a long time name - we aren't really able to assist you any further. Perhaps you can try and re-confirm Arnold's details on your end?"
Stupid Customer - "Well, I have a mobile number for him...what should I do?"
Me - "I...would suggest, perhaps, trying the mobile?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh, okay then. Well, thanks anyway"
*CLICK*
I have concerns that she might call in again tomorrow morning to tell me that she just poured herself a bowl of cereal, but does not know what to do next......
Stupid Customer - "Yes, could you please transfer me to Arnold?"
Me - "I'm sorry ma'am, there is no-one here with that name. You've called Health Insurance Inc."
Stupid Customer - "Yes. Arnold please"
Me - "Oh okay, sorry, that's what I was saying, we do not have any employee here with that name"
Stupid Customer - "........"
Me - ".........."
Stupid Customer - "So...what do I do?"
Me - "I'm not sure I understand ma'am. You have called a wrong number"
Stupid Customer - "Well, I just need to speak to Arnold"
Me - "I understand ma'am. I'm sorry, but since we have no Arnold here - and never have as long as I have worked here, which is quite a long time name - we aren't really able to assist you any further. Perhaps you can try and re-confirm Arnold's details on your end?"
Stupid Customer - "Well, I have a mobile number for him...what should I do?"
Me - "I...would suggest, perhaps, trying the mobile?"
Stupid Customer - "Oh, okay then. Well, thanks anyway"
*CLICK*
I have concerns that she might call in again tomorrow morning to tell me that she just poured herself a bowl of cereal, but does not know what to do next......
Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how may I help you?"
Stupid Customer - "Yeah hi, I need to see how much I got left to claim on glasses?"
Me - "Sure, not a problem ma'am. To bring up your policy, could I please start with your name, date of birth, and address please?"
Stupid Customer - *gives me her husband's name and date of birth, then silence*
Me - "Ok. Thanks ...for that? Now, I just need to get *your* name and date of birth please, and also the address on file."
Stupid Customer - "MY name and date of birth?"
Me - "Yes please ma'am. And the address"
Stupid Customer - "Are you sure?"
Me - "Um, yes. Yes I am, I need those details to proceed"
Stupid Customer - "Ah, okaaaaaay."
*she then stumbles and stutters for a good minute as she struggles to recite her own name and date of birth*
Me - "Okay, thanks for that. And just the address there please?"
Stupid Customer - "Um...you mean MY address?"
Me - "Ah, yes please. Your address that we have on file for you, thanks"
Stupid Customer - "Oh, okay. Ummmm..."
*she then proceeds to give me the address for our own Health Insurance Inc here*
Me - "Oh okay. Thanks for that. And is it ok if I confirm YOUR address please?"
Stupid Customer - "MY address?"
Me - "Yes please"
Stupid Customer - *she then gives me OUR business address yet again*
Me - "........"
Stupid Customer - ".........."
Me - "Okay. Thanks. And I just need to confirm YOUR address please. The address that YOU live at, please ma'am"
*she then gave me her husband's name and date of birth again*
We got there eventually, but it ended up taking her almost 5 minutes to get out of her her own name, date of birth, and address.
This was a 30-odd year old woman.
FML. How do these people function. Seriously.
Stupid Customer - "Yeah hi, I need to see how much I got left to claim on glasses?"
Me - "Sure, not a problem ma'am. To bring up your policy, could I please start with your name, date of birth, and address please?"
Stupid Customer - *gives me her husband's name and date of birth, then silence*
Me - "Ok. Thanks ...for that? Now, I just need to get *your* name and date of birth please, and also the address on file."
Stupid Customer - "MY name and date of birth?"
Me - "Yes please ma'am. And the address"
Stupid Customer - "Are you sure?"
Me - "Um, yes. Yes I am, I need those details to proceed"
Stupid Customer - "Ah, okaaaaaay."
*she then stumbles and stutters for a good minute as she struggles to recite her own name and date of birth*
Me - "Okay, thanks for that. And just the address there please?"
Stupid Customer - "Um...you mean MY address?"
Me - "Ah, yes please. Your address that we have on file for you, thanks"
Stupid Customer - "Oh, okay. Ummmm..."
*she then proceeds to give me the address for our own Health Insurance Inc here*
Me - "Oh okay. Thanks for that. And is it ok if I confirm YOUR address please?"
Stupid Customer - "MY address?"
Me - "Yes please"
Stupid Customer - *she then gives me OUR business address yet again*
Me - "........"
Stupid Customer - ".........."
Me - "Okay. Thanks. And I just need to confirm YOUR address please. The address that YOU live at, please ma'am"
*she then gave me her husband's name and date of birth again*
We got there eventually, but it ended up taking her almost 5 minutes to get out of her her own name, date of birth, and address.
This was a 30-odd year old woman.
FML. How do these people function. Seriously.
Tuesday, 6 September 2011
Stupid Customer - *yelling at the top of her lungs!* "Your fu*king company debited $2000 from my bank account, I never gave you authority to do that, refund it to me right now! Put the money back in my account!"
Me - "Ok...I'm looking at your policy as we speak and I see no debit of $2000..."
*interrupting me*
Stupid Customer - "NO! You c*nts took $2000 from my account and I NEVER gave you permission, put it back in my account right now!!"
Me - "Can I confirm what the reference number says against the payment"
Stupid Customer - "It doesn't have a number you dumb b*tch! It has the word 'DIFFERENT INSURANCE COMPANY' listed"
Me - "Ok, that is the name of a car insurance companym, you've called the wrong..."
*interrupting me again*
Stupid Customer - "I need that money, $2000 is alot of money you hear! And you peple went into my accoutn and STOLE it without my permission! This is a MASSIVE breach of trust! And against the law, right! Is there a manager there? I need to speak to a manager right now!"
Me - "Ok, you ahve actually just called the wrong compa...."
*interrupting me again*
Stupid Customer - "Look I'm interested in your f*king excuses! you people have STOLEN from me without my permission! I NEVER gave you authority to debit from my account! I need a manager!"
Me - "You have called the..."
*interrupting me again*
Stupid Customer - "I've been a member there for over 20 years, and you people are hopeless, you pay next to nothing back for anything and you always f*ck everything up! I should take my business to another fund! One that won't f*ck me around!"
Me - "Look you have called the wr...."
*interupting me yet again*
Stupid Customer - "Stop making f*cking excuses! You're a coward! You people stole my money, I'll take this to the media!"
Me - "Okay but make sure you mention to them that you called the wrong number!"
Stupid Customer - "Oh. Bye"
*CLICK*
Me - "Ok...I'm looking at your policy as we speak and I see no debit of $2000..."
*interrupting me*
Stupid Customer - "NO! You c*nts took $2000 from my account and I NEVER gave you permission, put it back in my account right now!!"
Me - "Can I confirm what the reference number says against the payment"
Stupid Customer - "It doesn't have a number you dumb b*tch! It has the word 'DIFFERENT INSURANCE COMPANY' listed"
Me - "Ok, that is the name of a car insurance companym, you've called the wrong..."
*interrupting me again*
Stupid Customer - "I need that money, $2000 is alot of money you hear! And you peple went into my accoutn and STOLE it without my permission! This is a MASSIVE breach of trust! And against the law, right! Is there a manager there? I need to speak to a manager right now!"
Me - "Ok, you ahve actually just called the wrong compa...."
*interrupting me again*
Stupid Customer - "Look I'm interested in your f*king excuses! you people have STOLEN from me without my permission! I NEVER gave you authority to debit from my account! I need a manager!"
Me - "You have called the..."
*interrupting me again*
Stupid Customer - "I've been a member there for over 20 years, and you people are hopeless, you pay next to nothing back for anything and you always f*ck everything up! I should take my business to another fund! One that won't f*ck me around!"
Me - "Look you have called the wr...."
*interupting me yet again*
Stupid Customer - "Stop making f*cking excuses! You're a coward! You people stole my money, I'll take this to the media!"
Me - "Okay but make sure you mention to them that you called the wrong number!"
Stupid Customer - "Oh. Bye"
*CLICK*
This occirred at my previous job, when I had my team leader who had no time for rude and/or stupid customers
Stupid Customer - "Yeah hi, am I covered for surgery through This Private Hospital?"
Me - "Ok I'll just have a look here for you...and what kind of surgery would that be for?"
Stupid Customer - "Surgery"
Me - "Ok, but what *kind* of surgery?"
Stupid Customer - "An operation"
Me - "yes...but what KIND?"
Stupid Customer - "I don't know"
Me - "O...kay. Well, we do need to know the kind of surgery you are having as your policy has a few exclusions. If you can find out from the hospital or your surgeon, call us right back and we can check if it is covered or not"
Stupid Customer - *with attitude* "Um, WHY does the type fo surgery matter? It's surgery, it's all the same! If you can't help me can you put me through to someone who knows what they're talking about?"
Me - "As mentioned, the reason we need to know the kind of surgery is because your policy has a long list of things that are not covered. I need to know the type of surgery to see if it is covered or not. If you are not aware of the kind of surgery you are going in for for same reason you need to find out then call us back"
Stupid Customer - "Can I speak to someone who knows what they're talking about"
Me - "Sure. That would be me"
Stupid Customer - "That makes no sense, that you would need to know the kind of surgery"
Me - "So to clarify, you're saying you are getting operated on next week and you have no idea what you are going in for?"
Stupid Customer - *again with attitude* "Nope!"
Me - "Ok...would you mind holding for just one moment, you had asked to speak to someone else so I will see if there is anyone available"
Stupid Customer - "FINALLY! yeah go get someone who KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT"
*I go and explain the situation to my team leader. He gets on the phone. he tells me afetr this is how the conversation went*
Team Leader - "Hi, so I understand you are wanting to check if you are covered for surgery but you have no idea what kind of surgery it is?
Stupid Customer - "Yup. That girl before needs to be trained, she told me I have to find out what *kind* of surgery it is before she would tell me, what a joke!"
Team Leader - "So can I just ask - how are we supposed to know if you are covered or not without knowing what it is you're getting done? What exactly would we be checking? And I'm afraid that if you are going in for an operation but have no idea at all what it is you are going in for, I would not feel comfortable discussing anything this serious with you as you are clearly not capable of handling your own affairs. Do you have someone who handles your own affairs for you? A guardian perhaps? Were they available to come to the phone?"
Stupid Customer -*grumbling now, in a quiet voice* "Whatever. I'm getting my gall bladder removed. Will I be covered?"
Ah-huh.
So I have no idea what her problem was in the first place... but she just got owned :D
Stupid b*tch.
Stupid Customer - "Yeah hi, am I covered for surgery through This Private Hospital?"
Me - "Ok I'll just have a look here for you...and what kind of surgery would that be for?"
Stupid Customer - "Surgery"
Me - "Ok, but what *kind* of surgery?"
Stupid Customer - "An operation"
Me - "yes...but what KIND?"
Stupid Customer - "I don't know"
Me - "O...kay. Well, we do need to know the kind of surgery you are having as your policy has a few exclusions. If you can find out from the hospital or your surgeon, call us right back and we can check if it is covered or not"
Stupid Customer - *with attitude* "Um, WHY does the type fo surgery matter? It's surgery, it's all the same! If you can't help me can you put me through to someone who knows what they're talking about?"
Me - "As mentioned, the reason we need to know the kind of surgery is because your policy has a long list of things that are not covered. I need to know the type of surgery to see if it is covered or not. If you are not aware of the kind of surgery you are going in for for same reason you need to find out then call us back"
Stupid Customer - "Can I speak to someone who knows what they're talking about"
Me - "Sure. That would be me"
Stupid Customer - "That makes no sense, that you would need to know the kind of surgery"
Me - "So to clarify, you're saying you are getting operated on next week and you have no idea what you are going in for?"
Stupid Customer - *again with attitude* "Nope!"
Me - "Ok...would you mind holding for just one moment, you had asked to speak to someone else so I will see if there is anyone available"
Stupid Customer - "FINALLY! yeah go get someone who KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT"
*I go and explain the situation to my team leader. He gets on the phone. he tells me afetr this is how the conversation went*
Team Leader - "Hi, so I understand you are wanting to check if you are covered for surgery but you have no idea what kind of surgery it is?
Stupid Customer - "Yup. That girl before needs to be trained, she told me I have to find out what *kind* of surgery it is before she would tell me, what a joke!"
Team Leader - "So can I just ask - how are we supposed to know if you are covered or not without knowing what it is you're getting done? What exactly would we be checking? And I'm afraid that if you are going in for an operation but have no idea at all what it is you are going in for, I would not feel comfortable discussing anything this serious with you as you are clearly not capable of handling your own affairs. Do you have someone who handles your own affairs for you? A guardian perhaps? Were they available to come to the phone?"
Stupid Customer -*grumbling now, in a quiet voice* "Whatever. I'm getting my gall bladder removed. Will I be covered?"
Ah-huh.
So I have no idea what her problem was in the first place... but she just got owned :D
Stupid b*tch.
Stupid Customer - "Yeah I never got my bill, I want to know when yu people are going to send it, WHY it wasn't sent it the first place, and how much it is for"
Me - "Sure. It was mailed just yesterday, the reason it was mailed yesterday is because that is the day it is sent to you every 3 months, that has never changed, so we mailed it the exact day it was scheduled to go out, and the amount is $450"
Stupid Customer - "WHAT!"
Me - *repeats all of above*
Stupid Customer - "Why haven't I got it yet!"
Me - "Because it was only mailed yesterday and you live across the country, the mail will take a little more than just one day. You should receive it by the end fo the week. The bill is not due for a few weeks yet, so you will be fine"
Stupid Customer - "Well you need to resend it to me because I never got it!"
Me - "Ok, I can resend it if you want, you will likely receive 2 invoices in the mail though since the other one was sent just yestersday and is currently in transit to you, so just disregard the double up, but sure, fi you insist I will mail you a duplicate"
Stupid Customer - "And I ASKED how much it was, you people are so useless!"
Me - "Okay, as mentioned a moment ago, it is $450"
Stupid Customer - "I said how much!"
Me - "I said $450"
Stupid Customer - "God, I can't hear you! How much!" *sigh*
Me - *practically yelling* "$450"
Stupid Customer - "$450? Well that wasn't so hard was it?"
Me - "Oh I agree, that wasn't hard at all..."
Stupid Customer - "And make sure you send me the bill that you people never sent me in the first place":
Me - "I've already advised numerous times it was sent yesterday, but I will send you a duplicate anyway"
Stupid Customer - *CLICK*
Me - "Sure. It was mailed just yesterday, the reason it was mailed yesterday is because that is the day it is sent to you every 3 months, that has never changed, so we mailed it the exact day it was scheduled to go out, and the amount is $450"
Stupid Customer - "WHAT!"
Me - *repeats all of above*
Stupid Customer - "Why haven't I got it yet!"
Me - "Because it was only mailed yesterday and you live across the country, the mail will take a little more than just one day. You should receive it by the end fo the week. The bill is not due for a few weeks yet, so you will be fine"
Stupid Customer - "Well you need to resend it to me because I never got it!"
Me - "Ok, I can resend it if you want, you will likely receive 2 invoices in the mail though since the other one was sent just yestersday and is currently in transit to you, so just disregard the double up, but sure, fi you insist I will mail you a duplicate"
Stupid Customer - "And I ASKED how much it was, you people are so useless!"
Me - "Okay, as mentioned a moment ago, it is $450"
Stupid Customer - "I said how much!"
Me - "I said $450"
Stupid Customer - "God, I can't hear you! How much!" *sigh*
Me - *practically yelling* "$450"
Stupid Customer - "$450? Well that wasn't so hard was it?"
Me - "Oh I agree, that wasn't hard at all..."
Stupid Customer - "And make sure you send me the bill that you people never sent me in the first place":
Me - "I've already advised numerous times it was sent yesterday, but I will send you a duplicate anyway"
Stupid Customer - *CLICK*
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