Tuesday 17 January 2012

Okay. I am sorry, but I am officially sick to f*cing death of idiots calling in who are completely and utterly unprepared and/or have no idea what the f*ck they're actually calling in the first place.
Let me exemplify.

Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?

Stupid Customer - "Ummm, yeah, yeah so...ummm...I got like, like, ummm, like a fund thing, you know...ummm...with you like with cover and....I just need to , like....ummm....check stuff"

Me - "Okay. May I please start with your memebrship number sir?"

Stupid Customer - "I dont have it"

Me - "Okay, no problem. If I could please get your name, I can bring the policy up that way"

Stupid Customer - "Ummm, yeah, like, ummmm, my names um, its Rob"

*silence*

Me - "Okay. And your surname please?"

Stupid Customer - "Ummm, like, my last name's, like, like Smith"

Me - "Okay, thanks. How could I help you there today?"

Stupid Customer - "Yeah, so like, with my, like fund, ummmm....ummmm....what am I , like, ummm, you know...."

Me - "I'm sorry sir, no, I dont know what youre referring to?"

Stupid Customer - "Like with my, like...um....my fund, like the cover?"

Me - "You want to know what you're covered for sir?"

Stupid Customer - "Yeah! Yeah like, ummm, like what am I paying for and stuff?"

Me - "Okay, well, you have cover for quite a long list of services, was there a particular service you were wanting me to check for you sir?"

Stupid Customer - "Yeah, like, ummm, yeah, like, check my cover"

Me - "Okay sir, well, we can start with the hospital cover if you like?"

Stupid Customer - "Ummmm, yeah, yeah nar, like, ummm....like Im in like, ummm, a rush, so like, can you just, unmmm....just ummm, like  ummm, tell me what I got and sh*t?"

OH how I wish I could hang up on people like this. I really do. They make my brain want to committ suicide.

14 comments:

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  7. Girl! It's as if you work at the same place i do. I also work at a health insurance of sorts company. I can basolutely relate to your disgruntled feeling about some of the people who call. I have to deal with baby boomers all day, some are really sharp and a pleasure to work tiwh but lately it's been like "retard of the month" day. I just had this call a few minutes ago, i kid you not:
    - Me: Thanks for calling Blah Blah, how can i help you?
    - SM: This is my member # *********.
    - Me: Can i have your name, DOB, Addres and contact #?
    - SM: (gives me all his info)
    - Me: How can i help you Mr. SM?
    - I just told you, I am not repeating myself, you did not pay any attention to what i told you.
    - Me: Sir, i apologize i don't remember you telling me why you were calling, i was focused on pulling up your account. I'll be glad to help you, please let me know how i can be of service?
    - SM: (becomes irated)NO, I WILL NOT REPEAT MYSELF, PUT ME THROUGH YOUR SUPERVISOR!
    - Me: Sir, you happen to be talking to someone in the supervisor line, how can i help you?
    - SM: YOU DO NOT SOUND LIKE A SUPERVISOR, TRANSFER ME TO A SUPERVISOR!
    - Me: (trying to calm him down and taking the blame which is NOT mine)Sir, i may have had an issue earlier with my short term memory and was so focused on pulling up your accopunt and verifying your information that my mind didn't retain what you said. I do not mean to iconvenience you, please forgive me and tell me how can i help you?
    - SM: NO, I WANT TO TALK TO A SUPERVISOR (i can hear this dude puting and throwing an alzheimer's fit).
    All of a sudden call ends, turns out there is already a complaint in his account, so it seems this person thinks he is Mr. Obama and we all should read his mind and have telepathic powers developed.
    Some days I thank the good Lord that i do not have to deal with them face to face, i would be in jail sentenced to life in prison for voluntary mansalughter of one of these individuals. At leats i'd be in for aggravated battery. I tend to run the other cheeck but some people abuse it instead of taking your grace. WHY LORD???? WHY?????

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